﻿How To Look MORE Confident [0:00:00]
And how you're going to sound and feel confident. [sound effect]
Ice falling off the roof. Now, if this first – [sound effect]
First up on this list, when you're speaking, don't let people cut you off. Gents, you know what I’m
talking about. We've all got that co-worker we've got that family member that, yeah,
just seems to love to cut us off mid-sentence. Now, if this only occasionally happens or it's
the first time you're meeting somebody, yeah, you could let it slide. But, if you're dealing
with someone that's a repeat offender or if this is happening in front of a group,
you want to nip this in the bud. So, how to do that? By simply continuing to speak
as if they haven't even interrupted you. Most habitual interrupters, they actually don't even
realize what they're doing and all of a sudden they're going to realize, “Oh, wait a minute,
he is continuing to speak. I'll let him finish.” Now, occasionally, there are a-holes out there
that will continue to try to talk over you. Just make sure that you hold your ground, you keep what
you had to say concise and you state your point and guess what? You stop them from interrupting
you because you actually got your point across. Now, what about stopping yourself and saying,
“Excuse me. Can I finish my sentence? Can I finish what I was about to say?”
Now, I understand why people say this, but I would be careful with it because it can
come off as confrontational. And this isn't always a great thing especially
if it's your boss that's interrupting you. Finishing your point, saying what you have to say
and ignoring the interruption on the other hand, that just simply shows that you aren't going to
be steamrolled. [Music]
The next tip to look more confident, stop staring down at your phone. And, yes,
I know this is a lot to ask, but here's the deal, guys. Talk to any body language expert and they
will tell you a man with his head down is one of the weakest body language looks you can project.
Now, you may be saying, “Okay, Antonio. I see your point, but what are my other options?” First up,
be strategic about when you're on your phone. Whenever you're walking into a room,
you're making first impressions, you're engaging with people for the first time. You want to
make sure you are not on your phone. Put it in your pocket. And if it helps,
turn the phone off. That one little barrier of having to flip it on is just going to take a
couple extra seconds. You keep it in the pocket and you're less likely to pull it out. Tip two.
Consider holding your phone up higher, so it meets your gaze versus you tilting your head down.
The next tip to come off as more confident, when you stand up, roll your shoulders back. By taking
this one action, you set in motion a series of other events. Most notably, when you roll
your shoulders back, you puff out your chest. And for any biologists out there that have studied
primates, birds, other animals, we know that a puffed chest is a signal of strength,
of dominance, of confidence. Rolling the shoulders back also makes you stand more right. This makes
you look taller and more dominant. All of these being traits of a confident man.
Now, what about backpacks and other bags that force you to hunch over?
They're fine for students, fine for hikers, but if you want to come off as a man with confidence,
you want to choose something different. My favorite bag for a confident man,
the modern briefcase. Seriously, check out this beautiful briefcase from today's sponsor,
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Seriously, in my travels in my line of work, I see a lot of bags. I see bags that cost thousands and
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They're using Italian vegetable tanned vachetta leather. What this means in plain English,
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you look at this bag, the oversized zipper just the overall look, yes, it's larger it's durable
it's tough and it feels smooth like butter when you zip back and forth. It's a masterpiece.
And it makes sense if they're using great quality materials that they are working with artisans over
in Portugal over in Italy for each of these pieces. This single stitch stitching right
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Now, this next tip to look more confident may sound a little bit woo-woo, but stick with me. So,
before you give that presentation before you walk into the room before you jump on that Zoom
call with your boss's boss, visualize. Think in your mind what the confident you
is going to look like, what they're going to sound like, what they're going to feel like.
Take a few seconds and visualize, imagine what this person is going to be like.
And, gents, the more detail, the better. With your mind's eye,
imagine, okay, I'm going to be walking out there and this is how I'm going to step,
this is where I'm going to stand. I'm going to look out there and I'm going to look here,
I'm going to look there. Break it out in detail. 15 to 30 seconds is all you need
for all of a sudden, you to feel more confident. Now, here's the thing. Just like in the Matrix,
our minds have a hard time distinguishing what is imagined and what is real, especially when what
is imagined is in detail. And that feeling, you feeling more confident, you actually, yes, right
there in the chest, guess what? It is real. And you can leverage that you can take that right into
that Zoom call, right into that meeting, right into that presentation you're about to give.
Seriously, gents, visualization is a powerful tool. And if you've used this, I would love to
hear from you down in the comments below, maybe share a story of how you've used visualization
to instantly improve your confidence. The next tip to come off as more confident, slow
down. Now, I'm not saying that you need to talk slow like something is wrong with you.
But with a bit of practice, you can slow down the way that you're engaging with somebody,
so that you get rid of the crutch words, your mind is able to keep up with what you want to say.
And, if you're giving a presentation if you've prepared for it, having people hang on words
for you to understand at what points you want to basically draw them in can be very powerful
as coming across not only with confidence, but as an expert in your field.
So, for this next tip, we're going to have fun with one of my best friends, Aaron Marino,
and how do you get the guy to shut up because he loves to talk. [sound effect] You tie
up his hands. What do I mean here? Italians. Come on, you got to tie their hands up because
then they won't be able to say anything. The point being is speak with your hands
because you're going to come off as a lot more confident. The Italians know this and
anyone that gives presentations realizes, hey, it's good to be able to use your hands
to illustrate points, to give emphasis. Now, you don't want to overdo this. I
know that I've got a tendency too, but it is something it's better to overdo that than to be
monotonous than to keep those hands tied and not do anything with them. It just doesn't
feel natural when people can't see your hands. Yes, my hands are wanting to jump up here.
Point being is you allow the conversation to go naturally, you can illustrate points,
there is feeling that's illustrated with the hands. And it comes off as
being more competent and more confident. The next tip to come off as more confident,
make eye contact, practice making eye contact. Most people have an issue
with this. When they make eye contact with somebody, they look down they look away.
If this is you, then what you want to practice doing is just simply holding eye contact for
one second. Giving people a nod, it's not simply it's not you're checking her out,
it's not simply wanting to start a fight with that guy. You are just simply making eye contact
and acknowledging them as another human being. To really soften it, simply give people a smile.
Making eye contact and smiling right here is a quick show of confidence of acknowledgement
and it is so much more powerful than looking at someone and looking down. And here's the thing,
you've got to practice it. If you can pick up this one skill, all of a sudden your
con -- basically your confidence or how you come off as being confident is going to shoot up.
Now, this next tip incredibly powerful super easy, but a lot of guys don't actually understand
the connection. And that is if you've got a big interview in 90 minutes and for some reason you've
been having a tough day, your confidence levels are low, then go for a run, go to the gym, drop
down and do a whole bunch of push-ups sit-ups. Get in a workout, shower, clean up and, boom,
show up to the interview, your confidence levels are going to be through the roof.
Why? Because your body has released endorphins and it will come off in the video. Yeah,
just make sure you got time to shower, clean up, you don't have sweat rolling down.
Point being is if you've had a workout within a few hours,
for hours after that you are going to be enjoying the benefits of post workout of those chemicals
running through your body that feel great that make you feel better the runner's high.
You know what I'm talking about. Incredibly simple, something a lot of you guys are already
doing. Just leverage the power of exercise to be more confident when you need it.
Now this next tip, I'm stealing from the ladies and that is take a couple minutes
to freshen up. You hear women say this all the time and they're smart about that because
they don't want to show up to that date, they don't want to show up at the table and, yes,
have lipstick that's going on the side of their face. They understand these details matter.
And here's the thing with guys. Maybe you just finished a meal and you've got something stuck in
your teeth and you're giving a big presentation. Well, yes, you've got important things to say,
but everyone's going to be focused in on what is stuck and why? It looks like you're
missing a tooth. [0:09:58]
Guys, don't let this happen to you. Spend a couple minutes, just look
in the mirror. Make sure your hair is in place, is anything in your teeth, how is your hair,
do you need to rinse your mouth out, do you have bad breath. Check all this before going in.
Now, of course, we are a style channel here, so I got to talk about the importance of clothing.
Make sure that you wear the appropriate uniform. I’m not saying you got to wear a suit especially
if you work in a casual environment, people are going to think you're out of place.
You need to know what the uniform is. The New York Yankees when they take the field,
they've got their pinstriped suits. Why? Because it's all about business. But,
seriously, if they were to go out there and these same athletes, but they were dressed
let's say in ballerina tutus, we would all get a laugh at, wonder what's going on.
But, these guys would not play at the same level because they're wearing the wrong
clothing the wrong uniform. You know, just not the uniform for them. So, you got to make sure
that you're wearing the appropriate clothing, which sends the message you want to send.
And building off that last point, what video to watch next? How about seven tricks to instantly
improve your style? Seriously, guys, if you want to step up your game, you want to look better,
check out this video right here. I make it simple for you, easy ways to look better every day.
Yeah, it's a good one. Click it, come on, check it out. Hold up here couple more seconds,
boom, click the video. [0:11:11] End of audio