Hi guys… this video is going to be all about how to get back together with your long-distance
ex.
So if you were in a long distance relationship that has ended too early, and you want a second
chance, then you’re definitely watching the right video.
Most of you probably already know me, but if not, my name is Brad Browning...
some people call me Breakup Brad… and I’m a relationship coach specializing in breakups
and divorce.
My best-selling program, The Ex Factor, has helped tens of thousands of people from around
the world get a second chance with their ex.
If you need help getting your ex back and you haven’t yet seen the full length video
on my website, then head over to BreakupBrad.com right now and watch it before you do anything
else…
that’s www.BreakupBrad.com.
Anyway, like I said, this video is about long distance breakups.
A lot of people ask me long-distance related questions, so I think it’s time I made a
proper video addressing the topic.
Now, unfortunately I have to start by sharing some bad news.
I’d love to tell you that it’s going to be easy to fix your long distance relationship.
I’d love to say that all my long-distance clients are able to get their ex back and
live happily ever after.
But the unfortunate reality is that being far apart makes things a lot more complicated…
and as a result, odds of getting back together are lower than if you lived down the street
from one another.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news there, but I want to be 100% honest right up front
so you guys watching this video don’t expect miracles.
That being said, the good news is that it’s absolutely possible to get back together even
if your ex lives far away.
I’ve seen my coaching clients succeed in reversing their long distance breakups hundreds
of times in the past, so it can certainly be done.
It’s just a bit more difficult, and the chances of success depend greatly on the details
of your specific relationship.
For example, how far you live from your ex, how often you saw one another in person, and
how long you were together all influence how difficult it’s going to be to get back together.
If you and your ex met online, you’ve never met in person or have only met once or twice,
and you live on separate continents, then unfortunately your chances of getting him
or her back are very slim.
I don’t mean to offend anyone who is in a scenario like this, because I know your
breakup is just as painful, but that kind of situation just doesn’t really represent
a “real” romantic relationship, so you can’t really use the tactics that I teach
in my Ex Factor program.
For instance, how can you send my Good Reminder text message -- which is essentially a text
that subtly reminds your ex of a happy time you shared together -- if you never actually
met in person?
So yes, if you’re dealing with an ex you met online who you’ve met only once or twice,
it’s probably time to start thinking about moving on.
On the other hand…. and this type of things is more common…. if you and your ex met
in person and then moved apart, or perhaps you met online but spent weeks or months together
on holidays or in-person visits… if you live on the same continent, and you can see
one another at least once every month or two…. then you have a much better shot at getting
back together.
This is especially true if you have spent months or even years living in the same city,
but now live apart for whatever reason…. in that type of situation, unless you’ve
already made some pretty serious mistakes, you’ve got a good chance at working things
out with your ex.
Another factor that will determine your chances of success is time.
How long has it been since the breakup?
A week?
A month?
A year?
The more that time passes, the more difficult things become.
If it’s been a couple of months and you haven’t been begging your ex for another
chance every day since the breakup, then things may still be salvageable.
If it’s been a year or more, then unfortunately your odds are probably a lot lower.
It also depends on how many mistakes you’ve made in that time since the breakup, but hopefully
all of you guys watching have already signed up for my program or at the very least watched
the video on my website to ensure you’re not unknowingly making mistakes that will
push your ex away.
For those of you watching who just desperately need to know whether you’ve still got a
shot at winning him or her back, you can take the free quiz tool I put together to evaluate
your situation and calculate your odds.
It’s not a foolproof tool, but it does do a pretty decent job if you answer the questions
honestly.
To take that quiz, just visit www.BreakupBrad.com/Quiz … that’s BreakupBrad.com/Quiz.
Anyway, now that you know what sort of challenge you’re facing, let’s talk about where
to begin.
If you’ve been apart from your ex for some time but haven’t had any real contact with
your ex, then you can safely skip the next little bit of this video… if you have spoken
to your ex more than once or twice since the breakup, or if it’s been less than a month
since you parted ways, then pay close attention because this is definitely important.
As soon as possible after your breakup, you want to cut off all communication with your
ex.
This means completely ignoring your ex for around a month or so….
generally I recommend 30 days of not speaking to him or her.
The point of this is to show your ex that you’re moving on, you’re not going to
wait around crying, hoping that your ex will change their mind.
This is the first step towards shifting the balance of power back in your favour, and
it is absolutely critical.
You need to ‘shock’ your ex into realizing what life is like without you, and you need
to give off the impression that there’s plenty of other guys or girls who would jump
at the chance to date you.
That puts the pressure on your ex and will make him or her have second thoughts about
leaving such a desirable commodity.
I can’t stress enough the importance of not communicating with your ex for the first
while after your breakup.
I’ve made other videos on this and it’s detailed extensively in my program, but the
benefits go way beyond just the mind games with your ex… it also has scientific backing.
Studies have proven that, if there’s little or no contact, your ex will miss you the most
around 3-4 weeks after a breakup…
those feelings are intensified by the lack of communication, and the timing coincides
nicely with your initial messages after the no contact period is over.
You’ll be reaching out to him or her right when they’re missing you the most.
It’s also been proven that humans tend to let go of negative memories more easily than
positive ones, meaning the no contact period lets your ex forget about why they wanted
to break up in the first place, and replaces those memories with nostalgia and positive
emotion.
You know what else the no contact phase does?
It stops you from reaching out to your ex to apologize, beg for another chance, ask
for forgiveness, or anything along those lines that will usually hurt your chances of getting
back together.
I know it may feel like a good idea to mail your ex a 5-page love note spilling your heart
out, but all that does is show your ex how much of a desperate loser you are at the moment.
The truth is that no matter how badly you want to reach out to your ex to tell them
how you feel and beg for another chance, there simply aren’t any words that can change
your ex’s mind… especially if they live hundreds of miles away.
Romantic attraction is an organic, natural thing that can’t be forced… you can’t
make your ex fall back in love with you using words, and if you try it’ll only make things
worse.
Talking about the relationship, your breakup, or any kind of drama and bickering is guaranteed
to make your ex less receptive to your attempts to get back together.
Avoid that kind of stuff at all costs.
Instead, you need to do and say things that will change how your ex feels about you fundamentally,
making them decide, on their own, that breaking up was a bad idea in the first place.
When you re-build your ex’s feelings of romantic attraction naturally through actions
rather than words, and after you use some of the sneaky psychological tactics that I
teach in my Ex Factor program, your ex’s perception and feelings towards you are going
to improve dramatically.
That’s when you’ll actually be able to win them back and start fresh with a new and
improved relationship.
What if you’ve already been broken up for 6 weeks, for instance, and you’ve talked
to your ex every few days since the breakup?
Start the no contact period now.
Stick to it for at least 2-3 weeks, preferably more.
Make sure that during this time, you’re keeping busy and dropping subtle hints to
your ex about how well you’re doing.
There’s lots of things you can do, even when you’re thousands of miles away, to
convey how much you’re thriving since the breakup.
Use social media, for instance, or mutual friends.
Post photos on Facebook of you with some new girl or guy so that your ex sees them.
Tell a mutual friend about your new promotion at work so that they can share the news with
your ex.
There’s tons of things you can do, just make sure that you’re subtle and not obviously
trying to make your ex jealous or upset.
When the no contact phase is over, and it’s time to start talking to your ex again, that’s
when you can bust out some of my text message or email templates... these are messages I’ve
specifically come up with to help break the ice and get your ex interested in talking
with you again.
I’m not going to list off a bunch of examples in this video because it’s already too long,
but you can watch the free presentation on my website, www.BreakupBrad.com, to get some
more ideas on how to re-establish contact with your ex.
Definitely don’t just call your ex out of the blue and ask, “whats up?”...
when you first start talking to him or her again, it needs to be very brief, very fun
and upbeat, and leave the door open for future communication.
Like I said, please go to BreakupBrad.com to watch the video for more info, or pick
up a copy of my Ex Factor Guide to access all of the sample messages I’ve put together
for re-establishing positive communication after the no contact phase ends.
To sign up for The Ex Factor, visit BreakupBrad.com/Buy… and within a minute or two, after you fill
out your info, you’ll have access to the full program so you can get started.
Now, when you first start talking to your ex again, you need to take it slow and make
sure all the interactions are fun for your ex… no drama, no talk about getting back
together, etc.
Just be funny, stay positive, and make sure that your ex wants to hear from you again
and will be receptive to future calls or texts from you.
Maybe even drop a subtle reminder or two to trigger memories of happy times you shared
together, and bring up an inside joke to spark those feelings of attraction in the back of
your ex’s mind.
Trust me, that actually does work.
After slowly talking more frequently online or via phone and text, the time will eventually
come to either meet your ex in person, or arrange a Skype call or Facetime meeting online
with them.
In-person is way better, but you should only EVER visit your ex’s hometown if you have
a legitimate excuse for being there… if your ex lives on the other side of the world
and you don’t know anyone else in the area, then it’s going to be way too obvious that
you’re just trying to get back together.
That’s not what you want.. you still want your ex thinking that you’re just being
friendly and hoping to ‘catch up’ over coffee.
If you’re visiting your ex to meet in person, it’s always best to think of a legitimate
excuse for being “in the area”, which will allow you to invite your ex out for a
quick drink or a bite of lunch while you’re in town.
If you have to use Skype or an online web chat instead, then the same principles apply,
but it’s going to be a lot more difficult to use the meet-up to generate attraction.
Keep the first meet-up with your ex short and sweet.
Make sure you’re friendly, upbeat, and positive, just as you have been when you were talking
online.
Make sure you clearly portray to your ex how well your life has been going since the breakup,
and make sure they understand that you’re happy and enjoying the single life.
If possible, you can be a bit sneaky and mention that “you’ve been on a few dates”...
put on a sheepish grin and say it’s “nothing serious” or something along those lines.
Don’t get into specifics or talk about it further than that, it’s just good to drop
a hint to put some pressure on your ex, make them feel a tiny bit jealous, and add an element
of mystery so that your ex leaves the meeting curious about your new life.
It’s also important to add some sexual chemistry to the in-person meeting.
This is the main reason why in-person is far better than Skype or phone calls, because
you can’t really do this online.
You don’t need to be all over your ex -- in fact, that’s a bad idea -- but you should
do a bit of flirting.
Casually touch your ex’s arm, hold eye contact for a bit longer than normal, maybe drop an
innuendo or hint at something sexual that has meaning to your ex.
Just generally be flirtatious, playful, and make sure your ex is having a good time and
that the chemistry is positive.
No talk AT ALL about your past relationship, the breakup, etc… that’s toxic.
All you want is for your ex to leave the meeting thinking that they were dumb to let such a
fun, interesting and attractive person walk out of their life.
Where things go from this point depend on how the first meeting goes, and how difficult
it will be for you and your ex to see one another and talk to each other regularly.
If you live close enough that you could conceivably meet again in a few weeks, leave the first
meet-up by saying something like, “hey it was fun catching up, let’s do it again soon…
I might be back in town later this month so I’ll try to make time for us to grab a drink
while I’m here.”
Or, if the first meeting is going extremely well and the chemistry is great, then you
might be able to turn the quick coffee date with your ex into dinner, drinks, and a trip
back to your ex’s house for some sexy time.
But don’t expect that to happen the first time you meet with your ex after the no contact
period…
normally it’ll only be 20 or 30 minutes.
However, it your ex seems extremely flirty and interested in hanging out for longer,
you can go with the flow and see what happens…. but remember not to bore your ex, get into
any drama, or stick around too long.
If you come on too strong, your intentions are going to become obvious and you’ll do
more harm than good.
For most people, it’ll take more than one meeting with their ex to actually get back
together.
That’s OK… continue to give him or her lots of space, continue to put on your happy
face and stay busy with your exciting new life, making sure that your ex knows what
cool stuff you’re up to.
And send him or her the occasional funny message, thoughtful reminder, inside joke, etc., building
your connection as best you can via text or online messages.
If you chat on the phone, make sure to keep it brief, keep it fun and interesting, and
always be the one to end the call before your ex has the chance.
When the time is right, you can build up to another in-person meet up… and this time
you’ll be going into the ‘date’ with better chemistry and a stronger connection,
so you can continue the flirting and essentially continue to charm and seduce your ex.
It might take several meet-ups, phone calls, and messages over the course of weeks or months…
but eventually, you should reach the point where your ex is receptive to sex or to the
idea of giving your relationship a second chance.
Don’t rush the process.
Remember that the goal is to build natural attraction so that your ex decides to take
you back on their own… that’s the only way things will work out in your favour, and
if you don’t lose sight of that, you’ll be well on your way to getting back together.
Like I said, I also urge you to visit my website, www.BreakupBrad.com, for more tips and strategies
you can use to win back your ex.
The URL is BreakupBrad.com, pretty easy to remember, and I’ve got a full length how-to
video up there on the homepage, one for women and one for men.
And of course, if you’ve got questions, just leave them in the comments below and
I’ll try my best to find time to respond to as many as I can.
I love chatting with you guys in the comments, and I also really appreciate your likes and
subscribes, it gives me the motivation to keep making these videos.
That’s it for now folks, thanks for sticking with me during this lengthy video, hopefully
you learned something… stay tuned for another breakup advice video coming soon.
Best of luck winning back your ex, and thanks for watching!