So here we are, it's 2021. I know it seems like we've been through a lot in the past
year and we absolutely have. I know that the holidays have been a challenging time for
so many of us. We're probably breathing a sigh of relief that all of that drama is over,
especially on top of everything that we experienced in 2020. However, I do want to let you know
that there is something big that's coming up, sort of similar to the holiday season.
And that of course is Valentine's Day. Now just like how the holidays and Christmas and
all of that has a big cultural impact on us, even if we're not religious or celebrate Christmas
or anything like that. We do still feel the sort of momentum wave of Christmas coming
upon us, and the same is true when it comes to Valentine's Day as well.
Now, obviously Valentine's Day is not as big of a holiday as Christmas, but since we are
here talking about relationships and since it is a relationship kind of holiday, I think
it is something that is going to be on people's minds in the next few weeks and it is going
to be something that probably does influence how we interact with one another. So just
know that yes, Valentine's Day is coming up. I know it doesn't seem like it's very close,
it seems like we just got out of the holiday season and it seems like Valentine's Day is
way out there, but when you look at a calendar it's like, oh, there's only like six weeks
between the beginning of the year and Valentine's Day. So it is coming up. With that being said,
you are probably going to experience something similar to the holiday expectation effect
during Valentine's Day, or at least during the two weeks leading into Valentine's Day.
Once the page of the calendar flips and it's February people suddenly have this like Valentine's
Day realization. And then it's like, "Okay, that means I can start doing all the things
that I know I probably shouldn't." Grand romantic gestures and planning for elaborate gifts
and all of this sort of stuff that you might've felt an inclination to do during December,
it kind of comes back again. I've seen this year in and year out, both December and the
first half of February are this difficult challenging time for a lot of people because
of holiday seasons, because of expectations, because of people thinking once again that
they can get away with a lot of the things that we've cautioned against during the whole
holiday season. So just know that you're probably going to be feeling a lot of similar impulses
like the grand romantic gestures, the romantic confessions, the big elaborate gifts and all
of that sort of stuff. But just like we were talking about in December,
it's probably not a good idea. Again, it depends on everyone's situation. If you and your ex
are like coming back together, you're pretty close. You're like almost back together then
yeah, it totally makes sense to get a gift and to do the romantic stuff. But if you're
not, if you're not connecting really well, don't think that having a gift or a grand
romantic gesture's something is going to push your ex over the edge to the point where they're
going to fall back in love with you. It's probably not going to be the case. The usual
rules, "rules" if you want to call them that still apply. Everything that we've talked
about on previous videos, like connecting on an emotional level, building that emotional
foundation, leveraging that emotional foundation, all of that sort of stuff.
It still absolutely applies. We just have to watch our own mindset and how we think
about it are we thinking like, "Oh, well it's different right now because it's Valentine's
Day. It's okay for me to confess my feelings. It's okay for me to beg and plead and apologize.
It's okay for me to buy an elaborate gift or something like that." If it's not something
that you would normally do like if the two of you are not in a good emotional place,
build that emotional foundation first, if you already have that emotional foundation
in place, then it definitely could make sense for you to actually go out and buy a romantic
gift or confess your love or something like that. But we don't want to think that just
because it is Valentine's Day that it's like an exception to the rule that a Valentine's
Day miracle is going to bring us the relationship that we want.
That brings us to the other point, which is about miracles. Okay. Again, like with Christmas,
I know that there are some people out there that think, "Well, okay, I'm just going to
hope for a miracle here. I'm just going to hope for some sort of Valentine's Day miracle,"
like you might see in a romantic comedy or something like that. Now, obviously I think
consciously, we all know that this isn't how things work, but in some sort of deep emotional
level, we kind of want this to happen. And so I want to caution you against this. You're
most likely setting yourself up for disappointment, unless you're doing things to actively build
up that emotional foundation over the next few weeks here. So please do what you can
do to be your own miracle. Start putting in the work to build that emotional foundation,
like what we've talked about in so many videos on this channel. We have an entire playlist
on emotional connection, check it out, it's right up there in the video card section.
But what you want to be doing is spending the time now to put in place the things that
you need to put in place to actually have a good Valentine's Day experience, if that's
something that's even important to you. Other things to keep in mind, let's see, first of
all, I guess additionally, I've already talked about a few points already, but next point
is that if your ex is in a rebound relationship, don't expect them to end that rebound relationship.
I mean, especially if they're still together in the beginning stages of February, don't
expect that to end before Valentine's Day. And once again, just like with Christmas and
the holidays, no one wants to be the jerk that dumped someone right before Valentine's
Day. Oftentimes people are going to try and white knuckle it through Valentine's Day.
They're going to hope that things get better. They're going to hope that they somehow hold
it together. They're going to delay the breakup. If there is some sort of breakup that's sort
of pending and looming on the horizon. And they're going to get to February 15th, 16th,
and 17th. And then if there's still problems, that's when things really start to surface
and come apart. But they're probably going to try to force the relationship to stay together
through Valentine's Day, either out of guilt. I don't want to be the kind of jerk that dumps
someone right before Valentine's Day, or they're going to hope that, "Hey, maybe we can make
it work. Maybe the power of love alone or something can pull us together," or maybe
they're just trying to hold it together for external appearances. They want it to look
like they have something great and wonderful in their life on Valentine's Day, so they
can post the thing on Facebook or Instagram or whatever.
So just know that people are going to respond to Valentine's Day a little bit differently.
You might feel an impulse to do it. Your ex might feel an impulse to do it, but underneath
all of this, the core fundamentals of what we talk about on this channel are still the
same, they're still in play. People may also feel this impulse to kind of take the passive
route and say, "Well, hey, if you want it, you should contact me on Valentine's Day.
If you feel something for me, you should contact me on Valentine's Day." And this is well,
is something that can cause people to take the passive route. Again, I don't encourage
you to do this because it's kind of a covert contract. It's setting you up for disappointment.
It's setting you up for resentment. It's setting you up for a lot of contempt and bad feelings,
bitterness, and all that sort of stuff. If your ex doesn't come forward and say, "Hey,
happy Valentine's Day. Hey, I really love you. Hey, for all the troubles that we had
you're still the best partner I've ever had," or whatever. Don't set yourself up for that.
Remember just focus on the fundamentals. If there is something that does materialize on
Valentine's Day between you and your ex, if they do call you, if they do text you, if
they do confess their love for you. Okay, great. That's icing on top of the cake. You
can take it from there, but I wouldn't go in there expecting it, especially if there
isn't a great emotional connection and a great emotional foundation between the two of you
right now. But now in January, that is obviously the prime time to be putting in the hard yards
of building up that emotional connection. Obviously, also the first half of February
is a great time to do that as well too. But just remember if you want a miracle, if you
want a Valentine's Day miracle or a miracle on any other day, you have to put in the work
to be your own miracle. You can't play this passive game of, "Well, they broke up with
me, so they should be the one to come back to me. They should be the one to make the
first move." Sure, in some sort of theoretical, philosophical way maybe that makes sense,
but is that how things actively work in the real world? Probably not. We talked about
this many times before in other videos about why your ex might not be making initiative
attempts with you and why you may have to just kind of be the one willing to take the
initiative. You're the one that wants the connection and
they for all I know maybe they do want it, but at least for a lot of people, their ex
broke up with them and their ex doesn't want it. And so you want to form something between
you and them, then you have to be the one to take responsibility for that. And at least
for now, until you actually have that emotional foundation in place, be willing to take the
initiative. That's what I really want you to know about the whole Valentine's Day experience.
Again, if you want a miracle, you have to be your own miracle. You have to put in the
work during these upcoming several weeks waiting up to Valentine's Day to make that happen.
Don't count on a miracle. Don't sit back passively and wait for it to come to you, put in the
work now and also let it be okay if your miracle doesn't come on Valentine's Day. Would it
be okay if it comes the back end of February or maybe March or something, or whenever it
actually materializes? It's totally okay. Just because something
doesn't happen on a specific date or a specific time doesn't mean that it's worth less or
anything like that. It just means that there's some other obstacle that had to get taken
care of first before your ex felt emotionally ready to open up to you in that sort of way.
But anyway, if you do want some help, if you don't want to work with us in a deeper way,
we do have a survey that you can fill out. There's a link to it down below. And based
off of how you fill out that survey we can go ahead and direct you to various services
and various courses that we have various ways that we might be able to help you, but feel
free to go ahead and submit that survey down below. And if it makes sense for us to work
together, we can go ahead and give you the resources to see what that might look like.
But anyway, once again, I hope you found this video helpful. If you did, please make sure
that you hit that thumbs up button, helps us out with the algorithm, helps us out with
this YouTube channel and all of that. And if you do want to learn more about how the
holidays influence your ex, not just Valentine's Day, but other holidays as well too. I mean,
obviously a lot of the holiday dynamics carry over into Valentine's Day, but if you do want
to learn more about holiday dynamics, please check out this video series over here, or
you might want to check out this video right here. But anyway, thanks so much, please take
care and I'll talk to you next time.