can you tell the difference between a Band 6 and a Band 8 or 9 IELTS Writing essay you're probably
saying of course but really can you I've noticed that part of the problem with IELTS Writing is
not just that test takers can't do what they need to do but in many cases their perception of what
would bring them a higher score is wrong so today I want to give you 4 keys to mastering your IELTS
Writing Task 2 essays I've prepared a great exercise for you that will help you understand
what a good piece of writing I mean a Band 8 at least actually is we're going to take one essay
for each key I'm going to show you two versions of the same essay paragraph and you need to find the
good one it's Asiya let's get started [Music] the first key is about how well you respond
to your task officially called task response first of all we need a task and I've chosen
one of the more complicated types two views and your opinion Some people prefer to work for the
same organization all their working life others think it's better to work for different organiz
ations discuss both these views and give your own opinion write at least 250 words give reasons for
your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience in this
type of task you must do three things discuss the first view discuss the second view it may
not be obvious but you must discuss not only the view you agree with but both views and give your
own opinion I'd like to show you two versions of a paragraph about working for the same organization
the ideas are the same in both here they are we have some pros stability and security Good
Company pension chances of internal promotion good understanding of how the organization functions we
also have some cons when you know your company too well think things begin to annoy you and
you get bored uh lack of challenge if you're stuck in one position your career stagnates
no incentive to learn and develop new skills we have more than enough here so these are the two
versions of the first body paragraph which one is a great response to this task and which one is so
so I challenge you to find it pause the video now read them and then once you're certain vote in
the comments question one answer A or B so what do you think which paragraph addresses the task
better and would get a higher score if you're not sure and you're thinking wait first I need
to know what I's examiners consider to be a great or not so great task response then I say this is
a big step in the right direction let me tell you what matters first of all as a task response disc
scripts put it it is essential that we answer or address all parts of the task and offer what they
call a welldeveloped for band eight or a fully developed for a band n response to the question
pretty vague isn't it let's see what you lose your points for looking at a band six each point has
the good part in green and the bad part in red addresses all parts of the task remember view
one view to your opinion although some parts may be more fully covered than others so you
should write enough about each part presents a relevant position although the conclusions
may become unclear or repetitive presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed
or unclear so you lose points if you don't spend enough time writing about one part of your task or
if your ideas are unclear or lacking Focus or not developed there is more to it but I guess
you're getting the picture coming back to our two paragraphs which one do you prefer the first one
goes on too much it reads like a list of ideas first this and then this and then this and then
so it's quite repetitive and doesn't go in depth and in some places it lacks Focus why mention that
such people are conservative it's irrelevant and the board or teacher example is is not original
at all the second paragraph looks much more Compact and it follows up the main idea with
a good example and all these supporting points work well supporting the main point paragraph B
is much better what we must keep in mind is that aot's writing task two is a test of your ability
to put a logical argument together it's looking for consistency your ability not to lose track
of your Viewpoint let's go on to the second key coherence and cohesion what does that mean your
essay is coherent if it's logically organized it's about your essay structure how you group
your ideas together your essay is cohesive if one point follows from another if all your sentences
are connected if you don't jump from one point to another again let me show you two versions of the
same paragraph which one do you prefer which one has better coherence and cohesion pause read and
comment question two A or B a quick look at the band nine Perfection for coherence and cohesion
tells us well nothing much uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention skillfully
manages paragraphing so the organization and flow are so good that we don't notice them what do you
think that really means it might help if we look at a Ben six uses cohesive devices effectively
cohesive devices are the ways to link your sentences for example linking words however
furthermore but and but cohesion within and or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
so the cohesion is incorrect may not always use referencing clearly and appropriately referencing
is pronounce it this and you should should use them instead of repeating the same noun or you
should use phrases like this method this problem to refer to what you said before
so you use referencing but sometimes unclearly or incorrectly for b six uses paragraphing but
not always logically arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall
progression so you move from one idea to the next from your introduction to your conclusion
in other words a b six is given to those essays where the examiner notices errors and a lack of
clarity it gets worse at a ban five the errors become two obvious makes inadequate inaccurate
or overuse of cohesive devices so our cohesive devices again linky words pronouns and so on
they use this insufficient there are simply not enough of them or they used incorrectly or there
are too many of them and I think those who don't prepare for the test enough tend not to use enough
linkers and may not know a suitable Linker when they need one but there is the opposite problem
when test takers try too hard and overuse their linkers that's exactly the problem
in our paragraph a not a complete disaster but a little over repetitive why have a cohesive device
a connector at the beginning of every sentence have a look at them however furthermore apart
from that although therefore that's repetitive and unnecessary it's overdone also look at this
long introduction to the first sentence in Gray it doesn't give any new information just remove
it why it's not clear we don't know either remove it paragraph B is much clearer notice how we use
substitution often do so change jobs frequently and relative pronouns this in the last sentence
meaning an improved package in salary terms this makes the paragraph more natural and easier to
read and the number of connectors is restricted to just however to introduce the contrast with
the previous paragraph that's what we need very clear writing onto vocabulary the moment has come
to express our point of view in the essay very very important in my coures I actually show two
ways to do it inside your other body paragraphs the option which I think most students prefer or
in a separate paragraph in this lesson we have a separate paragraph as usual I have two examples
for you which one would get a higher score for its vocabulary pause to read now so which one
is a better example A or B I think there is a common misconception that you need to use
long words to impress The Examiner so much that they will give a band eight or nine or at least
a seven and that it's good to use as many Tic Expressions as possible but that's not true
look at b nine uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of
lexical features rare minor errors occur only as sleeps it mentions natural control of the language
and that mistakes are only accidental not because you don't know how to use a word in fact the task
descriptors do mention less common vocabulary attempts to use less common vocabulary but with
some inaccuracy B six so less common vocabulary and use of cations as seen as positive but less
common doesn't mean very rare words only used by someone who swallowed the dictionary I think
it means you can express exactly what you want it's a question of precision of expressing what
you mean in the best possible way and it's just not the same as trying to show off your
knowledge of long and rare words coming back to our examples the second one clearly has some big
words you can see them in red but it feels like uh they just inserted into a paragraph with very
simple language phrases in Gray in real examples like that there are many more mistakes as well
so this type of writing is not going to impress The Examiner at all look at example a it shows
good use of precise terms and what's called an awareness of cocation or how words work together
which words you use together here are some examples rewarding loyalty Financial incentives
a position of trust be counterproductive seek new challenges leading to stagnation all these
are common enough words words used with Precision in a particular context next examiners also assess
your grammar officially called grammatical range and accuracy compare these two ways to
conclude our essay which one is better from the grammatical point of view pause the video now
okay which one is better A or B examiners assess your range and your accuracy for band nine there
should be no mistakes and almost no mistakes for band eight band seven produces frequent error
free sentences so many sentences should have no mistakes when we reach b six it says makes some
errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication it's only when the number of
mistakes begins to make the essay difficult to follow that the examiner will think of band five
errors will cause some difficulty for the reader what about the range do we need to write as many
complex sentences as possible the warning signal is at ban five where it mentions only a limited
range of structures and that complex sentences tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
compare that to the wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy we are expected to
use to deserve a bad name so it doesn't say only complex structures so what does it mean it means
that we must have a balance between accuracy and complexity without forgetting that there
is nothing wrong with this simple sentence something many test takers do is try to be
too clever and write as many complex sentences as possible unless your grammar is really top
class that's when you start making mistakes so keep to what you know best coming back to
our examples the first example is just one very long sentence it's overly complex and there is no
need for this this usually leads to mistakes our second version has two sentences and the
message is much clearer the Four Keys are task response coherence and cohesion vocabulary and
grammar that's what the examiners say and as you've probably noticed today it's not
only your English skills that matter but also your essay writing skills and how well you can
use your English to fulfill the requirements if you'd like to to learn how to meet each I
writing requirement write your answers sentence by sentence and answer each type of task check
out my online courses I'm going to link them below also today you haven't seen a full essay
but I have a full model answer showing another two views and your opinion essay and I'm going
to link that PDF below or you can watch a video explaining how to write an essay like this right
here and thank you so much for watching me today good luck with your preparation and your exam bye