Do you feel overly passive in your communications?
And as a result of that, you're noticing that you're constantly being overpowered
or dominated and controlled by others?
Or do you wish that you can just stop shrinking back in your communication
so that you can genuinely express yourself with confidence and poise?
Well, if that's you, then continue on to this video,
because today what I'm going to share with you is how to be communicative
and how to be so assertively.
So, this is your art and science of assertive
communication. And if you haven't done so already,
remember to subscribe to my channel, ring that bell
as well below because I release videos every single week that
talk on topics of communications, career
growth, critical thinking that help you to create your most inspired life.
So walk with me here and let's talk about assertive
communication. Assertive individuals expand in the communications
fears while the passive individuals retracts.
So the key is, how do we maintain that frame
so that we are not empowered of others?
You see, the key is this, you are not a victim
if you are noticing that you're more passive in your communication,
that and that people constantly interrupt you or that they're overpowering,
right? It's not that you're a victim of their overpowerment,
even though it could feel that way. It could feel that we're on the receiving end of it.
And we're victims of the way that they're making us feel or maybe criticisms or judgment.
It could feel that way, but we are not victims of that. Instead
essentially, what is happening, is that you're being disempowered by
your ability to express yourself to relay your ideas,
or to give instructions or directions to your teams.
And as a result of that disempowerment,
that's why it feels like we are being overpowered, or victims of over empowerment by others.
So this is about how do we get to the place where we want to be,
where we can express ourselves, share our ideas and give directions in a way,
where we do not feel dominated or controlled by others,
but at the same time as we are communicating,
we are completely and wholly empowered by the words that we are saying.
And by the belief we have in what we have to say.
So this the art of effective communication.
It is a blessing in disguise to have that experience of feeling overpowered and dominated by others,
because it is that feeling of being overpowered,
that causes us to desire inner empowerment.
And that's the whole thing about this, being assertive is around first
and foremost being empowered from within before we can produce
the outward effect of assertive communication,
right? So in this video, I want to share with you three tips on how to communicate more
assertively every single time, no matter who you are speaking with,
right? So here it is three steps, right?
Get out your note books, take down some notes
as well. Because just accumulating knowledge is not going to be helpful for you.
You must implement the three steps that I'm teaching you today.
Step number one is to strategize your communication.
What do I mean by that? And how can we implement strategies
whenever we speak? Here is the essence of what you are doing
when you are strategizing, you are navigating the complex landscape of communication.
It is a complex landscape. Let me paint the picture for you.
Chances are whenever you're communicating either one-on-one
or one-to-many in a platform, on a stage, in a meeting room.
There are individuals. Every individual
in fact, that you're going to be speaking with is going to have a different perspective from you.
They're going to have different communication styles.
They're going to have different views towards trust and how to build relationships and definitely,
they're going to have different perspectives because of their cultural background,
or maybe their upbringing. So that creates a very complex communication landscape.
So when you are strategizing your communication,
it is about being able to effectively navigate the complexities
because there's many layers deep of nuances that create
that dynamicity in your audience, between you
and your audience. And your ability to communicate assertively is going to really be directly
proportional to your ability to create satisfying relationships,
right? To be able to build efficient business,
either whether or not you are working for a company or whether you are an entrepreneur.
And finally, it's your ability to be able to have
satisfying outcomes that you could use together.
Right? So if you're hearing this and you and this lightbulb moment on for you and you're saying,
yes, it is true and you're realizing the landscape of
communication is going to be complex every single time.
Right? When you begin to be able to navigate one person,
communicating with one person, nothing from that
interaction translates to speaking with another person because everyone is different,
their values, their preferences, their perspectives are different.
So, how do we navigate? That's why it's important to have a strategy. Alright.
So if you are serious about taking your skill to the next level and you want to know,
well, what is this strategy on how I communicate across cultures,
or across perspectives, or across even their value systems,
or hierarchy of values? Then I invite you to come into my master class.
This is what I teach my clients every day,
right. They go through a master class training with me,
where they learn all the proven principles on how to navigate and implement this
very successfully, no matter who they're speaking in front of.
So, this is only for you if you're serious about making this investment in your education.
It is an investment in your skill set. But any time you make an investment in yourself,
it's always the best investment you can make. So if you're serious about this investment,
then click the link below below this video in the description.
The very first link is a link for you to book a call with me or a member of my team.
And we're going to talk to you just to see if this is the right fit
and if it is then we'll invite you into my coaching
program. And I look forward to working with you
and helping you to achieve your most meaningful goals when it comes to communication career growth.
I hope to see you on the inside. And that leads us to step
number two. I hope you took some good notes from step
number one. Step number two is to speak your truth.
Now, I emphasize the word your
because this is your truth. It’s just indisputable and it is not necessary to be judgmental of it.
So this is a very difficult thing to do to speak the truth. Speak
your truth. And the reason why it's hard is because we fear judgment,
we have this innate desire to make an impression to impress our audience,
that it’s difficult to speak our truth and I'm going to break down for you,
the essence of how to break free from that.
So that, that fear and the fear of judgment,
or the fear of failure. All of those emotions are no longer going to hold
you back from this moment forward in your communication.
The essence of human needs, right? We all have this two very basic desires
in life, and they are the need for attachment,
and the need for authenticity. But the need for attachment is pretty straightforward.
It means that we all desire. And this is very natural.
Very normal, every human,
alright you and I included, every human desires to be in close relationship with another another person
and going up,
this is where this is where all of the fears to begin to develop. Growing up
we have an important attachment relationship.
That is vital for our survival as infants,
and children and so on. And normally,
I mean most of the time, the attachment relationship is with our parents or our guardians.
And so that's one need, the need for attachment and the attachment relationship is so important.
A child cannot survive without it. Right?
That is the love, the sense of belonging, protection, security within that attachment relationship.
The other human need as I mentioned before was authenticity.
So it's attachment and authenticity
and most of the time both of the needs are at odds with each other.
The need for authenticity means the need to own our truth,
to be able to express our truth without fearing judgment, to be able
to know exactly how I am feeling in the moment
and be able to articulate those emotions.
That is the need for authenticity. The need is so strong that without it
we cannot be ourselves. We don't know who we are,
and it's hard to speak our truth. So here's what happens as we're growing up,
young children, and it occurs at different times for everybody.
For you it could have occurred very young
or maybe in the middle of grade school
or maybe just entering into high school, for everybody it’s different.
What happens is that as children, our
need for authenticity becomes at odds with our
need for attachment which means that as children there at some point,
we begin to see the dilemma as children,
if I were to share if we were to share our truth
as children that the attachment relationship is threatened.
It could be for example that our parents as well
intentions as well intentioned as they could be,
our parents are not able to own our truths or protect our truth if we were to express as children
the way we feel or what our viewpoint towards something that we view
as children, that being authentic,
may put our attachment relationships at risk. And between the two,
when it comes to attachment versus authenticity as children,
the attachment is going to be far more important than authenticity.
So without a shadow of doubt we give up our authenticity
so that we can continue to have the attachment relationship.
And as a result, you know, months turn into years, years turn into decade.
And that's why many have grown up unable to know exactly who they are and to speak their truth.
There's huge hesitation towards that.
And that's why it's important to be able to reconnect with our authentic
self, to know what our values are, to speak your truth.
What is your truth? And this takes a lot of coaching.
And be able to have some guidance on,
how do we understand what our truths are anyway?
Because we spent so many decades of our lives,
knowing what other people's truths are and adopting other people's truths into our lives,
even though we don't necessarily desire
that or value that and then therefore it becomes our truth but it's not really ours.
It was somebody else's that we just passively undertook
as though it was ours and that's why oftentimes the decisions
we make in terms of career, relationships
even, later on in life they don’t make sense to us anymore.
Because we've let go of our authenticity,
our need to be our authentic selves.
So step number two is really deep and it's really important,
it follows from step number one, right?
Step number one, being strategize your communication.
And step number two, speaking your truth.
Because once you have the strategy on
navigating the complex communication landscape,
if you will speak your truth and hold your truth,
as being true to yourself
and not as a result of what somebody else told you
what you shouldn't believe then that is the excellent foundation
for being assertive every single time.
So, let's move on to step number three. Step number three,
final step is to set your boundaries. Boundaries are key
when it comes to communicating one-to-one one-to-many friend,
family or colleague. It is important to know where you begin and where you end. Setting
boundaries will help you to really understand what you will accept and what you will not
accept. It will also give you a foundation on when to say yes
and when to say no without feeling guilty or ashamed about it,
and it's important to set boundaries in different realms as well.
Now, I've created a video on how to set boundaries,
especially in the workplace
and I invite you right after this video to go there
and watch that watch that video on boundaries right now.
It's how to set effective boundaries.
And if you click on this link and it's right here above on the corner of the screen,
it will lead you to that video on how to set boundaries.
So that is step number 3. And I want to hear from you comment below.
What is your key takeaway from today's video?
and I look forward to hanging out with you again in my next one.