(Jesse Running)
(Drops Sword)
This is Spartan 117, do you copy?
Cortana!
(Failed Halo Gunshot Attempt)
Ah, Fuck. (Wood Chipper Noises)
I forgot to fucking caulk it. Lets reset.
Let's reset.
Can you hear me through the mask?
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright.
There we go.
(More Wood Chipper Noises)
Really?
(Wood Chipper Starting Up)
We're gonna try it with
I might be able to put music here.
Ok.
Alright. Alright ready?
Alright you still filming?
Yeah.
Alright here we go.
(Jesse Running)
(Drops Sword)
This is Spartan 117, do you copy?
Cortana!
(Halo Gunshot)
How what that?
That looked pretty good.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I don't even know where that dart went.
We're not going to be able to do this if that's fucking going on.
(Woodchipper Running)
We can just delete that and do it again.
(Jesse Attempting the Kill Switch)
I though he said that was a kill switch.
I think this wasn't an emergency.
(The Wood Chippers Death)
There we go, I don't even know where he went.
Yeah.
Alright.
Aww shit.
I dropped the sword right in the mud.
Are you able to get the sword and it's entirety?
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, I want this skit to be legit man.
Super fucking legit.
Ahh, let's get soaked.
Should I pull up my mask?
Are you- like are you- can you hear me...
I can- I can hear you...
(Corn) so I'm assuming the mic can hear you. (Jesse) Ok... ok.
Yeah, the mic's usually pretty good.
Alright got this loaded up, alright were going to try this again.
That take's a while to... shut off there.
Ok.
Alight rea-
(The Wood Chipper's Resurrection)
What the fuck?
DAD!
Dad!
(Drops Sword)
We're trying to film a video out here!
What?!
I said we're trying to film a video!
I don't care what you're doing! What the hell are you dancing around for in a fricken uniform!?
We're trying to do a skit. And I can't have this on.
Yeah!
Dad what's in that box?
Don't you worry about what's in this box!
Woah Woah! What the hell are you doing with that?
You're gonna learn!
No No! Dad!
You disrespect me all the time!
After last night, you deserve everything you get!
YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING!
(Drops Game)
Dad, what the fuck!
Why don't you ever listen?!
WHAT?!
Why don't you ever listen to me!?
I do, I helped you! I helped you with the brush yesterday!
THAT WAS YESTERDAY!
We're just trying to do-
(Drops Game)
DAD!!!
Fuck!
(Wood Chipper Noises)
What the fuck? (Eagle Call)
OK!
What do you need me to do? What do you need me to do?
What do I need you to do? I need you to grow the hell up!
IT'S POURING DOWN RAIN! AND- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE VIDEOING THIS SHIT!
This matters! This is my job, and I can't- DAD COME ON!
What are you going to do for me?
WHAT!
I'll keep helping you! I'll do- I'll put those sticks in!
ARE YOU?!
Then how come you haven't been helping me all morning?
(Drops Game)
WHY?!
COME ON! (Point's Gun)
WHAT ARE YOU-
(Drops Branch)
Dad! Come on!
I'm trying to do a video! What are you doing?!
DAD!
Fucking...
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I MEAN, YOU DON'T GROW UP!
I am-
(Chucks Gun)
GROW UP THEN!
FUCKING SHIT!
(Wood Chipper Noises)
(Birthing Eagle)
DAD!!!
HOLY SHIT!
ALL THE TIME!
What are you going to do for me?
I'll keep helping! I'll pay you, I'll pay you the money!
(Jeff) I NEED MORE! (Jesse) I'll pay you-
I NEED MORE FROM YOU!
WHAT DO YOU NEED?!
YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED!
I NEED YOU TO GET A JOB!
GROW UP!
This is my job dad!
This is my fucking job! DAD!!!
STOP!
I'm not stopping, until I get something from you!
DAD!!! Come on!
Get away from it!
THEY'RE ALL GOING IN UNLESS I-
(Mating Call)
I NEED-!
(Crying)
DAD PLEASE!
GIVE ME SOMETHING!
MOM GAVE ME THOSE FOR CHRISTMAS!
YOUR MOM'S GONE!
...THAT SHE GAVE ME!
(Wood Chipper Noises)
You drove your mom away with your shit!
I AM NOT! EVER!!! GETTING A JOB, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I DO!
(Drops Game) (Wood Chipper Noises)
YOU BETTER RETHINK IT!
You got all these bills you got to pay!
And I'll get the money but I need to do a video
Dad Come on!
GET A FUCKING JOB NOW! TELL ME!
TELL ME!!!
OHHHHH!!!!!
I WILL NEVER! EVER!!! GET A JOB!
YOU WILL NEVER GET A JOB?!
Because I already have it!
No you don't!
Do not touch that!
Are you gonna get one?
NO!
I don't disrespect you, last night was a joke!
YEAH I KNOW! IT WASN'T FUNNY!
I'M SICK AND YOU'RE GOING TO MESS WITH ME ON JOBS!
ARE YOU?!
ARE YOU!?
NO!
(Drops Gamepad)
(Wood Chipper Noises)
(Mating Call Part 2)
What else do you have in there?
DAD!
No!
YOU WILL NOT!
I MEAN IT!
(Jeff) Tell me! (Jesse) You've already broken-
You've already broken like fucking 3 of those!
Tell me, are you going to get a job?!
No!
ARE YOU?!
No! No!
Are you going to get a job?
NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!
(Drops Wii U)
(Wood Chipper Noises)
DAD!!!
OKAY!!!
(Mating Call Part 3)
(Mating Call Part 4)
(Wood Chipper Noises)
Ok!
NO! NO! OK!
Ok!
OK WHAT!
OKAY!!!
I'LL GET A JOB!
I'LL GET A FUCKING JOB!
This isn't another lie?
No! No! No I swear! I swear to god.
I swear to fucking god!
I will get a job!
I will get one!
I will have you sign papers saying you will get a job!
Yes! Yes!, whatever you need!
PROMISE ME ON YOUR KNEES!
Promise me on your-
I am I will! I will! I will!
(Jesse) I will! (Jeff) You promise?
I will!
(Handshake)
I fucking will!
DO NOT DESTROY THAT!
You promise?
You promise me?
By the end of this month, I will have a fucking job!
(Drops PS4)
(Jesse's Breakdown)
(Wood Chipper Shutting Down)
I will I will!
I WILL!
It's a shame it had to come to this!
Dancing around in the yard in that?
POURING DOWN RAIN! PULLING PRANKS ON ME!
LYING TO ME! DAMAGING MY SHIT!
Maybe you'll grow the hell up!
Get some respect for everyone around you!
I'm sorry!
(Rips Off Halo Costume)
(Wood Chipper Noises)