Ho Ho Ho, Bitches!
'Tis the season and this week we rollin up some mistletoe with "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens.
Ebeneezer Scrooge got rep for bein the coldest honkey you ever seen. This jive-ass fool so damn shysty
that he don’t throw out ends for nobody.
Whether it be his worker Bob Cratchit, who needs some coal so he don’t freeze his ass off,
or some playas comin by tryin to help the po folk, Scrooge ain’t givin’ up dat cheddar.
When Scrooge’s nephew Fred drop in and say “Merry Christmas, playa!
Tis the season to get yo ass to my party and bottle pop all night long”
But Scrooge like, “Psh. F**k Christmas.”
Later dat night, Scrooge chillin up in his crib when BOO! The ghost of his old bidness partna Jacob Marley
swangs in all decked out in chains. But this fool ain’t icin. These chains gnarly as hell.
Scrooge like, “J-Money, you look like shit, dawg.”
Marley say, “Yeah blud, well since I was such a cheap bitch all my life, I gotta wander round the earth with these
scrub-ass chains jockin my style for eternity. So you best change up yo hustle if you don’t wanna end up like me.
And watch out — cuz three other ghosts gonna drop in and school you good.”
While Scrooge trying to sleep, a creepy lil ghost callin himself "The Ghost of Christmas Past" show up and say,
“I’m a take you back in time to show you how bad you f**kin up these days.”
Back in the day, Scrooge knew how important it was to roll with a crew and how a real playa treats his workers.
Lookin back at his old self, Scrooge starts feelin mad regret.
Next the fat-ass Ghost of Christmas Present take him to the Cratchit crib, where Bob’s broke ass tryin to feed his family,
including his crippled-ass son, Tiny Tim.
Even though life dealt him a shitty hand, Tiny Tim so damn nice it make Scrooge get all soft.
Then the ghost takes him to Fred’s Christmas party, which actually look like a pretty chill spot.
Scrooge wanna stay but the Ghost like “naw bruh. There’s somebody else you gotta meet.”
Last, a hood-ass brutha rolls up on Scrooge and show him a bunch of folk talkin smack about some dead fool.
Ain’t nobody miss him, and a few people even riding high now that he dead.
When the ghost brings Scrooge to a graveyard, he sees his own damn name on the tombstone!
Oh sh*t. Then Scrooge like, “Aight, aight, I get it son — I'll change my ways!”
Next morning, Scrooge wake up all geeked that it's Christmas Day.
He run into the streets, hollerin at playas, wishin em a Merry Christmas.
Fool even send a big-ass turkey to the Cratchit family so they can get they grub on like a G.
From here on out, Scrooge looks after Tiny Tim like another daddy, gives money to the po,
and loves Christmas for the rest of his days.
Now unless you trippin, you know dis play preachin dat Christmas is da most legit time of da year.
But it ain’t just dat holy talk gettin Charlie D all riled up.
Christmas all about finding a time of the year where we can put the hustle aside, keep dem swishers lit,
and show each other love. Like Freddy say,
I have always though of Christmas time...as a good time. a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. the only time
I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their
shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave,
and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."
In the 1840s, Chuckie D said he wanted to do two things: Inspire homies to enjoy life and make the lives of the po better.
That’s one of the reasons that at at the beginning, Dicky showin how much of a hard-ass bitch rich folk can be
when dealin with the po. But when the ghost of Christmas past takes us back to before Scrooge
start sippin dat Haterade, we see a vulerable, sympathetic cat who the audience start feelin for.
This ain’t just a Christmas Story, and it ain’t just a ghost story.
It’s also spittin some mad game bout a twisted-ass society where errybody just lookin out for numba one,
and only the bottom line matters. At first, Scrooge don’t give a f**k bout the fact that Cratchitt can’t feed his family.
All he care about is da change he gonna lose by letting Bobby-boy take a day off.
But at the end, Scrooge realize dat yo employee ain’t just some tool you use to stack cheddar.
He's yo brutha too. Cuz we a society, yo. And in a society, we gotta watch each other’s backs.
Look, we all got the power to help a brutha out and make the world a better place,
no matter how small our actions may seem. So this holiday season, reach out and do somethin
righteous for yo fellow homie — like hittin dat subscribe button!
Happy Holidays, y’all! Peace.