you
I am becoming more and more conscious of the barriers I have built up in myself
over the years against being a joyful self-loving open being it feels like the
wall in me is getting stronger and stronger the more I'm aware of it and I
can't come through do I first need more courage my beloved beautiful master
could you please help me with your understanding
Sooni empower it is the same question again I have been answering Amita but I
have also answered you although you have phrased your question in a different way
few small details are different
otherwise it is the same problem I will discuss those small differences in
detail you say I am becoming more and more conscious of the barriers that have
built up in myself over the years against being a joyful self-loving open
being it feels like the wall in me is getting stronger and stronger the more I
am aware of it and I can't come through
the first thing to understand is that
the wall is not becoming a stronger it is only your awareness is becoming
clearer
there is no reason at all why the bar walls should become a stronger when you
are beginning more aware it is simply when you bring the light in your dark
house you start seeing the cow webs and the spiders not that that suddenly
started growing because you have brought light in they have always been there
just you are beginning aware alert but don't think that they are growing your
light has nothing to do with their growth yes it reveals their presence
your growing awareness is revealing the presence of your prison walls and you
say I am aware of it and I can't come through because these ones are not true
ones they are not made of bricks or stone they are made of only thoughts
they cannot prevent you
just you have to know the secret how to come through them if you start
struggling with your thought processes which constitute the prison was then you
will get into a tremendous mess one can even go insane that's how people go
insane they are surrounded by so many thoughts and they are trying hard to
come out of the crowd and they go on getting deeper and deeper into the crowd
and then naturally a breakdown follows their nervous system cannot sustain so
much pressure and so much tension they have opened Pandora's box it was all
hidden there
they were blissfully unaware of it now they have brought a meditative awareness
suddenly they see a great crowd so thick that the more they try the more they
feel their impotence against the walls that are surrounding them
if you start fighting with them then there is no way you will sooner or later
tired tattered will find yourself slipping from your sanity but if you use
a right method instead of a breakdown you will have a breakthrough the right
method to deal with all that you feel you are surrounded of is to be just a
witness not to fight not to judge not to condemn just remain silent and still
purely witnessing whatever is there