When Stephen Fry announced his engagement to Elliott Spencer, who is 30-years his junior,
fans were astonished. From backlash over an age gap to bipolar disorder and cancer battle,
the couple has been through thick and thin in the last six years.
Today we’re talking about their meet-cute, perseverance and joy,
including how they threw everybody off the scent, getting married just DAYS after the announcement.
When they met at a friend’s house party, Stephen knew pretty much straight away that
Elliott was someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. “Don’t know
whether he thought the same because he’s got rather a lot more to go than me,” Fry said.
Though the couple were very private about their romance, they were spotted spending time together
often. Elliot was known as Mr E before he and Stephen decided to unveil their relationship
to the world. Ahhh, how sweet is that? In June 2014, Elliott accompanied the QI
presenter to the Tony Awards — however, the pair did not pose together. Despite this,
Spencer gave his followers a clue of who he was there for when he tweeted
a picture of chocolates and an image of Fry when he starred in the Twelfth Night.
Fans were fairly surprised when the actor revealed his engagement to Elliott in early 2015. Taking to
Twitter to make the announcement, Stephen penned: “Oh. It looks as though a certain cat is out of a
certain bag. I’m very, very happy, of course but had hoped for a private wedding. Fat chance!”
But just eleven days later, fans were stunned when they learnt that Stephen and Elliott had
already tied the knot in a low-key ceremony. Taking to Twitter again, Stephen gushed: “Gosh.
ElliottGSpencer and I go into a room as two people, sign a book and leave as one. Amazing.”
The couple also had their vows witnessed by a mini-Oscar Wilde
during the ceremony. As one should. Fry later confessed that he deliberately
leaked false information about his wedding to the press in a bid to throw reporters off the scent.
“The wonderful registrar Linda put a false date into the computer in case it was being
hacked or in case there was a mole within the borough. It meant that Elliot and I were able
to be conjoined without any photographers or journalists, which was really nice.”
Proposing, Fry knew his future husband would say yes, because, quote, “we’d kind of danced around
the subject.” The whole thing was quite romantic and hilarious. As one does, Stephen bought a
ring and decided to surprise his partner. While they were dining, he waited for Elliot to go to
the bathroom to put the ring on a fork so that his partner would see it as he started to eat.
Charming, isn’t it? Of course, he came back,
and he started chatting, and he started playing with the fork, and Stephen thought,
‘For God’s sake look at the fork’ – you don’t really ever look at forks, do you?
“I thought, ‘He’s going to pick it up, and the ring is going to fly off into that lady’s soup…’”
Fry said. Fortunately, Spencer just in time caught sight of it, and it
was a very teary and splendid moment. Aww… Though their marriage was a happy union,
the couple faced backlash from fans and the press for their 30-year age gap.
And while the pair acknowledges their age difference, it doesn’t bother them at all.
“I don’t care what people think,” Elliott said. “Stephen
is the love of my life, the light of my life.” According to the comedian, what really makes their
relationship work isn’t aesthetics, financial status or fame, but something far simpler.
“We laugh all the time,” Spencer said. “Humour is the binding thing in our life.
I think that’s what brought us together.” Shortly after their union, though,
Fry was embroiled in a drama over a BAFTA joke, which saw him describe costume designer Jenny
Beaven as “a bag lady”. As she left the stage, Stephen jested: “Only one of the
great cinematic costume designers would come to the awards ceremony dressed like a bag lady.”
Twitter users were quick to condemn him, with one writing: “Not sure what was worse,
Stephen fry making that crass comment about Jenny Beaven or the audience laughing.
Time for a new presenter #bafta. While another added: “Why I do not like
@StephenFry: He expects everyone to sit back & assume a horrible insult is a well-meaning joke.”
It turns out, that’s precisely what it was. Stephen hit back in an explicit message on
his own profile, writing: “So, just a word to the tragic figures who think
calling Jenny Bevan a bag lady was an insult. She’s a dear friend, and she got it. Derrr.
Though, he later had to add: “Will all you sanctimonious f***ers f*** the f*** off,
Jenny Beavan is a friend and joshing is legitimate. Christ, I want to leave the planet.”
He then shared a photo of himself cuddling up next to Jenny after the ceremony with
the sarcastic caption: “Jenny Baglady Beavan and Stephen Outrageous Misogynist
Swine Fry at the #EEBAFTAs after party.” Although most people expressed surprise and
concern when Fry announced his nuptials to Spencer, they’re still going strong.
During an appearance on the Jonathan Ross Show, the actor mused over his marital bliss,
saying: “It’s fabulous. It’s terrific, it gets better every day. I’ll sound really
childish if I keep doing this, but it’s like a miracle really, it’s just such a wonderful thing.”
While Stephen keeps most of his personal life off social media (who can blame him?),
Elliott is more willing to share with the masses. The couple embarked on a trip to Utah in 2017,
where they posed for a number of sweet pictures — and even immortalized their visit
by cementing their hand-prints in… cement. Not only do they enjoy the bright days,
but since the pair said “I do”, Elliott has been helping his husband through the ups and
downs that come from his bipolar disorder. Due to the condition, Fry has attempted to
leave this world — twice. Thankfully, both were unsuccessful, and he has been outspoken about
his “cyclothymia”, a form of bipolar disorder that made him suffer with “that idea” daily.
In 2012, he took a frightful number of pills and washed them down with a bottle of vodka,
vomiting from his comatose and breaking four ribs from the convulsive fit that ensued.
There was also his nervous breakdown back in 1995.
Stephen just walked out of the West End production, Cell Mates, he was appearing
alongside late Rik Mayall. He spent several days contemplating “self-slaughter” — as he calls
it — including sitting in a car with thoughts of gassing himself before deciding against it.
Instead, he fled the UK, taking a ferry across the channel and winding up in Belgium. In his
documentary The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive, Fry said he never thought he’d return to Britain.
To everyone’s relief, he did and is now president of the mental
health charity Mind, raising awareness and understanding of mental health problems.
And when the big C tragedy struck in 2018, Fry and Spencer survived it together,
bringing each other happiness and light. Sharing a 12-minute video on his personal blog,
Fry explained why he has been missing from the public eye. “For the last two months,
I’ve been in the throes of a rather unwelcome and unexpected adventure. I’m sorry I haven’t
felt able to talk about it till now, but here I am explaining what has been going on,” said the star.
The tumour was found after his doctor urged Stephen to have a
full-body check-up when he had a flu jab before Christmas. In the clip,
the QI star revealed he had life-saving surgery and was on the road to recovery.
Describing the surgery, the actor said it’s like being stabbed five times.
“Admittedly you’re asleep, and it’s all very hygienic unlike a stabbing in the street,
but to the body it’s the same rather traumatic effect,” he said.
Fry added that there is a chance of cancer coming back, but for now, he’s fit and well.
During the time, Stephen praised the doctors who carried out the surgery and also thanked
his friends and family for their continuous support. “It’s all pretty undignified...
but my darling husband and few friends that have known have been very kind about it...”
Admitting he felt like his life was saved by early intervention, he urged men “of a certain
age” to get their levels checked because one in eight men will get prostate cancer.
“I’m bloody lucky. Lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people, lucky to have had
such an incredible team working with me. Here’s hoping I’ve got another few years on this planet
because I enjoy life at the moment, and that’s a marvellous thing to be able to say,” he added.
Talking about marvellous things, once the couple got married, fans began to wonder
whether Stephen and Elliott would ever decide to expand their family.
When asked if he’d like to become a dad, Fry said: “No, hmm, let’s just say I am a godfather.
I have 13 godchildren, which is a source of constant joy.”
However, the actor added that he’s been slightly disappointed by his godchildren,
who are all very well-behaved. “I haven’t had to go to a police station to pick
one up at three in the morning for some terrible offence, and they’re all really nice but in a
nice way, not in a way that makes you want to slap them, just really nice. It’s a delight, though.”
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