[Please keep these captions clean for those who need them. Funny extras can be added to the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!]
MR. KENT: [TV] And there you have it, folks.
That man is dead. Very, very dead.
JIMMY: [TV] Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?
MR. KENT: [TV] "Cadaverific!"
BULMA: (Crying)
Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him!
(Crying)
MASTER ROSHI: ...Bulls**t!
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
KRILLIN: Yamcha...
Yamcha!
Yamcha was our friend...
and you bastards killed him!
Don’t worry, Yamcha... I’ll avenge you!
PICCOLO: Oh, right. *You're* going to avenge him.
The FIVE-YEAR-OLD over here is stronger than you are.
KRILLIN: But I--
PICCOLO: Face it, you’re pretty much here as a meat shield.
NAPPA: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He’s like the *Raditz* of their group.
KRILLIN: That's it!
I can’t take it anymore!
I can only be pushed so far!
KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!!
[Saibamen shriek]
[♫ Final Fantasy 7 victory fanfare ♫]
(Panting)
That was... for Yamcha.
VEGETA: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.
KRILLIN: That’s right! What now, you son of a bi--?!
VEGETA: Nappa here is worth FIVE Raditz...
KRILLIN: I, uh...
what?
VEGETA: ...and I am worth *fifteen* Raditz.
KRILLIN: I...
Awww...
NAPPA: Aw, come on, don’t get so down on yourself.
At least you’ve proven that YOUR Raditz is *still* stronger than our Raditz.
RADITZ: I...
RADITZ: I... hate...
RADITZ: I... hate... *all* of you!
VEGETA: So in short - good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.
GOHAN: Aaah!
[Shriek]
[Whimper]
PICCOLO: Yeah, no.
Hargh!
Argh!
HARGH!
[Terrified shriek]
GOHAN: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!
TENSHINHAN: Yeah! Way to go!
KRILLIN: But, what about--?
PICCOLO: Well, we can all learn a thing or two.
KRILLIN: But I just killed three of them--!
CHIAOTZU: Nobody cares, Krillin!
KRILLIN: Aww...
VEGETA: Well, Nappa - looks like it’s your turn to teach them a lesson.
NAPPA: Yeah, right outta Saiyan University!
VEGETA: Hold on, you went to college?
NAPPA: Yup.
VEGETA: *What the hell* could someone like you possibly major in?
NAPPA: Child Psychology...
GOHAN: Wow! That sounds really interest--!
NAPPA: ...*with a minor in Pain*!
TENSHINHAN: Uhuh...?! NAPPA: Hurrrr...
TENSHINHAN: GAUGH! NAPPA: RAAGH!
TENSHINHAN: *YAAAAAAAUGHAAAAAAAH*!!
TENSHINHAN: Haaaagh...! VEGETA: Looks like he’s been...
TENSHINHAN: HURAAARGH!! VEGETA: ...*disarmed*!
[Wind blows]
NAPPA: I get it!
VEGETA: Shut it, Nappa.
TENSHINHAN: Guh!
NAPPA: Oh, I LOVE this game!
Tag! TENSHINHAN: Guahg!
Huagh!
NAPPA: No tagbacks.
TENSHINHAN: 'Agh, damn. This guy’s strong.'
'Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and...'
'Wait, where is he??'
NAPPA: Vegeta! The Pokémon’s on my back.
TENSHINHAN: Chiaotzu! No!!
NAPPA: I can’t get it off, Vegeta!
Here! I’ll use Rock Smash.
[Booming crunch] CHIAOTZU: UU-HU!
TENSHINHAN: Chiaotzu! You get down from there this instant!
CHIAOTZU: [telepathically] No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan!
For all the people of Earth! Our friends! And especially you!
TENSHINHAN: But Chiaotzu...!
CHIAOTZU: [t] Don’t worry! You can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls!
Now goodbye, my friend!
TENSHINHAN: That won’t work, Chiaotzu!!
We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls! We can’t do it twice!
CHIAOTZU: [t] ...Wait, wha--?
TENSHINHAN: (Gasping)
No! NO! Chiaotzu!
CHIAOTZUUUU!!
KRILLIN: Oh, my God...
He blew into more pieces than Yamcha!
TENSHINHAN: Krillin!
KRILLIN: What?
TENSHINHAN: He was my closest friend!
I...
I loved him.
KRILLIN: As a memorial to Yamcha... ”gay”.
TENSHINHAN: 'At least your sacrifice wasn’t in vain, my friend.'
NAPPA: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Self Destruct.
I hate it when they do that.
TENSHINHAN: DAMMIT!
NAPPA: Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it?
The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication.
TENSHINHAN: FFRAAAAAAAGH!!
NAPPA: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to
VEGETA!!
VEGETA!! TENSHINHAN: GAAGH!!
Uagh!
Ugh!
GOHAN: Should... Shouldn’t we help him?
PICCOLO: Can’t you see - he has to fight this battle on his own.
He’s fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.
TENSHINHAN: HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!
PICCOLO: Like a hero.
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, help him!
PICCOLO: Oh, fine!
Krillin! Go!
NAPPA: FOR PONYYYY--!
Uagh! He hit me!
Gaha! He hit me too!
PICCOLO: Gohan! Hurry up and blast him with all your strength... before he has time to
DOOOOOODGE!
[Piccolo's echo (in Gohan's head)] 'DOOOOOODGE!' GOHAN: (Whimpering)
(Shrieks)
PICCOLO: Damn you, PAVLOV!!
[Static]
NEWS REPORTER: [TV] For those of you who don’t know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain.
Back in 1904--
OOLONG: Get back to the fight!
NEWS REPORTER: [TV] Aaand back to the fight.
[Static]
NAPPA: Hey, not gonna lie.
Dick move, guys. Dick move.
KRILLIN: Piccolo... do you have a plan?
PICCOLO: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?
KRILLIN: Any plans that don’t involve killing me?
PICCOLO: Well, there is the Multi-Form technique.
KRILLIN: But doesn’t that cut our power levels by--?
PICCOLO: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin?!
KRILLIN: Plan B! Plan B!
PICCOLO: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU! KRILLIN: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!
NAPPA: Vegeta! I can’t...
”Believe it”.
VEGETA: (Groaning)
[Yelling, shouting, and grunting]
PICCOLO: 'He’s dodging every hit! We can’t lay a FINGER on him!'
'What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?'
NAPPA: Patty cake,
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake,
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s MAN!
Bake me a
Bake me a cake as
Bake me a cake as fast as you
Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!
{DING} KRILLIN: D'UGH!
{DING DING} D'UH-HOUH!
Ahuh-houww...
PICCOLO: UGH-HOUGH!
NAPPA: Good effort, but I’m the Patty Cake champion.
PICCOLO: ...What?
NAPPA: BUT, at least you didn’t uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon.
TENSHINHAN: You stupid...
ugly...
son of a bitch.
His *name*...
was CHIAOTZU!
KIKOHO!!
NAPPA: Yeah, that Chiaotzu--
OHHH, MY GOOOD!
{BOOM}
TENSHINHAN: 'Right...'
'right behind you, Chiaotzu.'
Guah!
[Thud]
NAPPA: Ahaaaa... pointless.
KRILLIN: ...We’re gonna die, aren’t we?
NAPPA: Yep!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH--!
Ah!
Vegeta!
VEGETA: What?
NAPPA: ...I can flyyyy...!
VEGETA: Are... are... ugh.
Yes, Nappa; yes you can.
KRILLIN: You know, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!
VEGETA: Who?
KRILLIN: Goku. He’s stronger than all of us combined!
VEGETA: Well then, I guess we’d better kill you before he gets here.
KRILLIN: W-Wait, I mean...
NAPPA: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!
VEGETA: Nappa, just kill them first and--
NAPPA: But I want him to SEE us kill them!
VEGETA: Oh God, there’s no arguing with you!
Fine! We’ll give you three hours tops.
After that, I’m killing all of you.
NAPPA: Yaayyyyyyy!
And now we wait...
Is he here yet?
PICCOLO: No. KRILLIN: No. GOHAN: No.
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO: *No*. KRILLIN: *No*. GOHAN: *No*.
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO: NO! KRILLIN: NO! GOHAN: NO!
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO: NOO!! KRILLIN: NOO!! GOHAN: NOO!!
NAPPA: ...Is he here ye--?
VEGETA: *NOO*!!! PICCOLO: *NOO*!!! KRILLIN: *NOO*!!! GOHAN: *NOO*!!!
VEGETA: Goddammit, Nappa! Just go do something!
Go have fun; I don’t care how.
NAPPA: Oh, boy! This is gonna be my best... day... ever.
♪♪
♪♪ Wheeeeee!
♪♪
♪♪ Yay!
♪♪
♪♪ Whoo! Hahaha!
♪♪ Wheee!
♪♪
♪♪ Yayyy!
♪♪
♪♪ Muhahahahaha!
♪♪
[Wind blows]
[Scouter beeps]
VEGETA: Well, time’s up; time to die.
PICCOLO: So, where’s your friend--?
NAPPA: I’M-BACK!
PICCOLO: GURHG!
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
{Captions by PyroAvok}
VEGETA: Nappa, where did your armor go?
NAPPA: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta.
I sank their *battleship*...
...and their *whales*.
AQUAMAN: Nooooooooooooo...!