Hey, what's up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu's back today to play...
Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to be the shittiest Kog Maw in history.
When you're bot, wait until your support charge on the enemies to use your Ball-Acid-Sniper-Vomit combo while Spitting on the archer from far away.
You should wait until your support bait that Blitz and do a Ghost-Ball combo to whoop him.
Then, Acid-Sniper combo Miss Sexy for a hot one night stand.
When your jungler is ganking bot, Ghost-Sniper combo that Blitz and finish the foursome with a Vomit.
Then move on to Miss Sexy because that robot didn't quite satisfy you.
When a greedy Udyr comes to kill your support, dirty him with everything you have to make him regret coming down here.
If that same Udyr comes to hunt you,
dirty him with an Acid-Ball-Vomit-Vomit-Spit-Vomit-Flash-Vomit combo to finish off that second one night stand in beauty.
If you want a third one night stand with him, separate yourself from your team and dirty him like always.
A fourth one night stand requires four people for a great night.
To kill a giant rat, Vomit on him so you'll be able to see him if he tries to go invisible.
If you're alone, whoop that farming croco with a Ball-Spit-Vomit-Spit combo to piss him off.
If he still doesn't understand that he can't farm peacefully, you should piss him off once again.
Your Love Suicide skill, just like the name implies, will let you bring your loved one to hell with you.
Let it be a woman, a girly kiddo, a flashing robot or a love triangle, no one will escape from your clutch.
But, to be sure you bring someone to hell with you,
make them think you're going for Darius and turn back at the last second to bring your biological father down.
Your Sniper skill will let you kill that Dragon while being on the safe side of the wall
or whoop that robot on Redbull, no problem!
Your Vomit skill is great to farm dying minions without putting yourself in danger,
finish off a kiddo that can't rocket jump,
kill Malphite before Nunu's snowball,
interrupt the enemy's Recall from far away
Humm...I mean, kill an enemy from far away,
find out that Annie and Warwick are making out in the brush,
and find out that they're doing it once again in another brush.
Combine your Vomit-Ball-Sniper combo if you're too lazy to kill the golem normally.
Your Flash spell is awesome to ruin that kiddo's life,
to finish off that KS master,
to whoop Ezreal while running from the enemies,
and send your father to hell.
Your Ghost skill is the best to chase some running frozen rocks
and to kite Annie's boyfriend while avoiding a threesome with that dirty cow.
Spit on that Karma while she gets stunned and taunted and dirty her more with a Ball in the back.
Your Spit will be so strong that you'll whoop your target even before Darius manage to last hit him.
If you find the same croco that tried to farm early, wait until your ally comes to enjoy a dirty threesome.
If Annie tries to facecheck the brush, dirty her so much that Warwick will stop making out in the brush with her.
Shoot your Ball vertically to make Darius take a long detour and finish him off with a Vomit-Spit-Vomit-Spit combo.
In any teamfight, your job is to stay in the back to kill everyone while your allies are being used as punching bags.
If you're going for a Double Kill, go for the tank first since you're a tank killer
and chase after that girly kiddo for an easy ass whooping.
If you're going for a Triple Kill, use your Ghost and Spit on everyone you can.
While your whole team is chasing a dying Darius, you should stay here and dirty anyone that tries to chase your allies.
And since you're the shittiest Kog Maw in history, show everyone that you can get a Triple Kill without the help of your team.
If you're going for a Quadra Kill, whoop that semi-tanky Darius first, then move on to Udyr.
After that, use your Ghost to chase down that Karma to kill that fuckabish and Varus while Malphite tanks the tower.
If you're going for a Penta Kill, engage Baron to bait the enemies.
Then, as usual, stay in the back while your allies become the enemies' punching bags and kill anyone that's low on health.
If you failed to have the fifth kill because of Jayce, finish off that Baron and voilà!
You have a Penta Kill!
That's it for today, people!
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Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I'll only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.
Ciaossu!