Matt: One that I like that i've used is it kind of
the best of both worlds because it's it's really easy to
send out. Really short, but it's also totally customized:
Is just using her name.. and that's it! And i got this from
Josiah, one of our trainers josiah when we were in saint petersburg that was his
opening message he got so many matches he had long hair at the time and
the russians just love guys with long hair apparently he did way better than
me and his message was just her name
nothing else after that just her name i think he had a period at the end i
don't know if the period matters i've also tried it with just the name dot dot
dot and that's it it actually works it works
pretty well i can see that totally i'm not really sure why i guess because
it's like you see your name right it stands out
if you're looking at all these messages like imagine you're a girl you have
hundreds of messages imagine you have 100 messages a day
i don't know if girls actually get that many but maybe they do we do rude
messages we do they do there you go 100 messages a day
what's going to stand out if you see your name it's going to stand
out right beautiful hey baby that's not going to stand out
that's what every other guy is doing another one that's worked really well
for me welcome to the attractive man podcast where we help men
become better men in these episodes you'll discover
how to improve your dating and relationships how to break through your
mental limits that are holding you back and how to move through life with
confidence and purpose i'm your host matt artisan matt artisan
here and today i'm with two of our expert coaches at the
attractive man lynn
and cal
who also happen to specialize in online dating and have helped a lot of clients
get more matches and get more dates through online dating using
tinder bumble and apps like that and today we're going to talk about the
first message that you should send because most guys send messages
that are really lame really boring generic and you got to remember that
women get tons and tons of messages a day in fact
lin said she gets like hundreds a day and she doesn't reply to most of
them because most of them are just generic and boring or too try hard
because it's super frustrating you match with a girl and you get all excited wow
she's so pretty and then you send her a message and she
doesn't reply back and then that happens over and over and over again which is
why a lot of guys just give up and they end up
deleting tinder so we'll give you some actual examples
word for word messages that you can use that you can send that will get women to
reply back to you what are some horrible first
messages that you've seen lynn and some great first messages that
you've used cal so i don't know why it's
it's we need to inform more more people to
to let go of the high and how's it going happy wednesday happy hump day plans
this weekend what'd you do this week please guys no
no no again i'm um let me help you kind of get into
the mindset or or in the the shoes of what a woman's going
through when she's opening these messages
just like cal referenced she is probably connecting with
hundreds of guys she's getting so many messages
and i would say probably 80 of the messages that i have
in uh in those pro and those apps are hey how's it going if a girl
is truly going to respond with a hundred percent effort to every single message
that or person she's connected with that's asking her how's it going
and she's truly truly answering it like oh it's going well i'm feeling a little
bit of anxiety because of what's going on with
politics in the world but i think i'm okay i'm having an
a pretty decent day my mom's doing well which is good because she just fell and
broke her arm but yeah i'm excited if she were really to
answer the way that you're trying to get her to connect with you deeply
times 100 200 however many messages she has
she wouldn't have time to sleep it would be more than a full-time job
so the messages that are going to entice her to respond
are the messages that are going to be fun for her to either read or to respond
to so this is when you want to be the most
different this is when you've already gone through you've
impressed her with either your photos and or your profile
now you got to get her attention with the first message it's critical
when it for me when it comes to the first message honestly
i i hate that question part part of me hates it just because
it reminds me of when a guy asks me what do i say like what's the first line i
should say when i approach a girl and it doesn't really matter because
after you say it you have to have a conversation
and you have to move the the conversation forward but
with with tinder like i said earlier it's a bit more important
because you need to get her attention that's literally it you just need to get
her attention um i actually don't have like a go-to
line that i go to because i find if i go if i have a go-to
line and i just send a mass text to everybody then it's
only gonna hit like a certain target while if i just look at someone's
profile and i'm like okay this person does like stripping or something or like
oh this this person does this or that then i'll try to make a funny comment
based on what i see but i don't ever send a message unless i
feel like sending it so if i get a tinder match and i see her
profile i'm like oh this is interesting but i can't think of anything to say in
the moment i don't worry about i just put it to the side
and i have her in my head i'm like oh she does this she does that and then
while i'm going out through my day something funny will come up and i'll
send her a first message or whatever i don't like
that question i'll see most of the time i steal matt's steal
mats openers like want to rob a bank or something and it
works pretty well those are like my last resort
but yeah what do you think matt i like that like custom tailing it to her
although if you're messaging lots and lots of women that that's a little
difficult but i think in a sense you're more
likely to get a reply if it's custom tailored yet also stands out if
it's just like i like that you're into surfing that's
cool you know that's custom tailored to her if she has
a surfing picture but it's not really gonna really be that interesting um
and i like that you just kind of like let it simmer for a while because then
you might have good ideas that just come to you yeah so i'm all about
efficiency even if like i send the same message
to 50 girls and i only get let's say 10 replies but
that copy and paste only took me like a minute or two that
is pretty efficient i got hey 10 replies in a minute or two
i'm with you and i i just found out that if you're using a generic
text not not a good one copy and paste but a generic one like hey how's it
going i just found out that this and this is a
little bit depressing but we want to tell you the truth
to every 113 messages for semesters that you
send out you will probably get one response so i'm
i'm with you matt i'm all about efficiency i think that it's a numbers
game i think that something that cal said
earlier about using tinder as practicing your messaging and you're
bantering your back and forth i'm all about that so the advice that i like to
give most of my clients is swipe yes on a lot of people even people
that you may not be someone that you normally
would go after because it's a numbers game and it's a
great opportunity to just practice connecting practice different
types of uh chemistry and connection with
different types of people and when you're swiping us on a lot of
people to take time and customize it would take
a huge amount of effort i think that if
something in her profile or her bio or her photo stands out then absolutely
yes say something but if you're really customizing every
single one it might might take a lot of time
i'm all about the the one-liners one map that i that you have which i
love is you're not crazy right that's
a great one because she needs to qualify she needs to either
address it confirm it or deny it but one that i
love and i give this one to my clients a lot is
your picks say quite a lot lynn or whatever her name is your picks your
picks say quite a lot blank and why that works is because we're
human beings we all want to know what other people
think about what does that mean your pics say a lot a lot of good a lot
of bad what are you saying right and so that's
really going to get her attention another one is is hey
i might be wrong but you look like someone worth getting to know
now that's a little bit of push and pull right because it's like i'm kind of
interested but i haven't quite decided yet so if
you copy and paste those it doesn't really matter what her
bio says or her picture say that's very efficient so that in terms
of a numbers game that's that's my favorite if something
does pop out at you and stand out or let's say that you've been to some
really obscure restaurant in kiev in ukraine you know and you're
swiping in the u.s and you're like oh my gosh
you've been to that restaurant yeah i did too so of course you know
make that more customized another one that's worked really well for me
is just want to hear a secret question mark that's good
they always say yeah what's the secret and then the follow-up that i use
is i kind of have a crush on this girl and then i describe her so i've now
gotten a reply back so now it becomes customizable
so i look at her pictures and kind of describe her i kind of have a crush on
this girl who loves surfing and has blue eyes
but shh s hhh don't tell her that works pretty good
because then and then it's a role play and the one i use in asia that
works pretty well is don't be mad but are you a lady boy
do they get offended when you ask that oh yeah yeah they get offended which
it's a compliment i mean the ladyboys usually look more attractive than
which is sad yeah so that actually yeah that works pretty well
yeah because you're emotionally triggering them and you're getting their
attention so they're definitely going to respond right
then after that you just build rapport what's your after you do the first
message like what is the purpose of tinder
like are we trying to like especially like during the corona for example
are we trying to get them on like video chat are we trying to get them on
instagram like what's the end goal here because i find that a lot
of guys don't have an intention when they're
messaging girls on tinder and they're kind of just like having a conversation
and it doesn't go anywhere the girl gets bored and
i find that if you're on tinder you're not even a human being until you're off
tinder so once i get her on text once i get her on
instagram then i'm a real person in her life but
before that i'm kind of just like this guy on this
site that's just like messaging her i think the goal of tinder is to get her
off of tinder as soon as possible which for me is usually the second or
third message second or third message no more than
that it's not about having a conversation
i mean think about it you're a high value guy always have that
mindset your high status is a high status guy going to be talking back and
forth on tinder forever no he knows he's awesome he's going to get her off of
tinder he knows she's attracted she writes back there's some interest
there you can probably get her phone number or get her on
another platform like instagram or facebook and i and
instagram facebook and obviously texting is it has the same
capability as tinder in that you're messaging back and forth
but you're in a different category now that's the point you're putting yourself
into a closer more intimate category like
texting she probably only texts his friends and guys she's interested
friends family and guys she's interested if you're on instagram
i mean maybe is a little bit more broad than that but the point is it's
it's not just every horny guy in the world anymore
unless she's an instagram model and she has 100 000 followers that's a little
different by the way guys if you want lynn to personally help you one-on-one
and review your dating profile your online profile
and review your pictures and tell you which pictures are great which pictures
are working for you and which pictures are pushing women away that you need to
eliminate and what kind of pictures you need to go out and take as well as
critique your bio and your first messages that you're
sending out help you craft a new bio and a much better first
message then make sure to click the link in the description i'm going to put a
link for a full profile online dating
makeover with lynn because having a not just a woman but
a female dating coach who's an expert at online dating review your profile is
absolutely invaluable so take advantage of that and
check out that link in the description and listen guys if
you want to be trained by myself lynn or cal then make sure to check out
our boot camp schedule we'll put a link down in the description and also hop on
a free breakthrough call with one of our team members
to see if you qualify for live coaching and we'll also give you a ton of value
on that call that link is also in the description
make sure to subscribe to this channel for more dating tips
and click that bell notification icon because we have a lot of awesome videos
coming your way including infield video breakdown so
we're actually approaching live women and breaking down the entire interaction
make sure to follow me on instagram matt artisan and send me a dm i would
love to chat with you and leave a comment down in the
description let us know what you thought of this video
maybe other things that have worked really well for you when it comes to
online dating so you can help other guys out because
we can all learn from each other or things that you're struggling with
when it comes to online dating or any style of dating and we can make a
video about that my name is matt artisan with cal and
lynn from the attractive man team and we'll see you in the next video
cheers