Hello internet, it's special guest time. Say hello to...
Special Guest: Is this when I come up?
Tyler: HI!
Both: *laugh*
Tyler: I was so far down I didn't know what was happening. Dan: I've never done a smooth intro on my channel
Dan : There we go Tyler: Thank you
Dan: Hi-ler
Dan: ....see what I did... - I'll just jump off the bed and leave
Tyler: Thank you, God bless
Dan: ... and then that can be the video!
Tyler: Cool! It's been fun! Thanks everyone!
(Dan: Thanks for watching.) Be sure to give it a thumbs up, (Dan: Subscribe!) audible.com!
Dan: In today's video, Tyler - (Tyler: what are we doing?)
I was thinking now that I have you back
(Tyler: Back in your bed.) I was thinking about what we have in common...
Tyler: (y'all coming out or something???)
I don't know what immediately comes to your mind *laughter*
Tyler: I was just thinking about whisks. (Dan: Ughhhhh.) Are we doing a whisk challenge?
Are we taking a whisk- (Dan: No, no, this isn't the whisk challenge.)
Dan: Actually, it was YouTube, was the, (Tyler: Ohhhh) the thing that we have in common, not whisks
or anything that these guys had in mind ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
So I thought because I started off as a fan of YouTube
which is something that these guys all know
and you are the professional fangirl- see what I'm gonna-
Tyler: I hate my branding! Dan: You've re-branded yourse- I'm sorry
I thought we could test which one of us is the bigger
YouTube fan by playing a game of Never Have I Ever
Tyler: By rubbing our hands! Dan: Sneaky
Dan: YouTube Stalker Edition.
Tyler: Ohhh! Dan: Okayy
Yup, we are going to go deep with some things that you probably don't want to admit.
Tyler: I started as a fan of YouTube too. Dan: Really? Tyler: Yeah
Dan: But just like a million years ago cause... oh sorry
Tyler: Whoa. (Dan: You're still fresh, Tyler) I'm 18, I don't know what you're talking about.
(Tyler: Five fingers.) Dan: Five fingers. We're gonna say 'Never have I ever'.
If you've done the thing, you put down a finger.
First person to lose all their finger lives DIES. In the game.
Tyler: Okay... Dan: I feel like we need some kind of forfeit to make this, like, real.
Tyler: What do you mean a forfeit? Like, something you lose-? Dan: Just, just, there needs to be something to play for.
Tyler: You know what? [dramatic trumpets] I have a shocking machine in my book-bag (Wtf Tyler)
Dan: Really? Tyler: Should we shock ourselves? Dan: YES! (laughing)Tyler: Is that what you want? Dan: These guys- these guys love it, don't they?
Tyler: I've upped the stakes! Do you want me to go get that?
Dan: I think that would be a good forfeit. Tyler: It really is the worst. Dan: Grab it!
Tyler: *gasps* *unintelligible muttering* Dan: ...and other bad decisions by Dan.
Tyler: Oh no! Dan: What did you - *laughs* Ff- Tyler spilled Redbull on my carpet!
Dan: What did you buy? Tyler: Listen it's like a, um -
Dan: Is this supposed to like cure people that are having heart attacks or something?
Tyler: I think it's supposed to massage (Dan: Oh my g- this is medical) Listen! *laughs*
Dan: Supposed to massage what? Why did you buy this? *laughter* Where do you put it?
Tyler: We'll get to this once somebody loses. Dan: Okay. God.
Dan: So Phil, handy guy, has provided us with some things to say whether we never have ever or not
so this is a complete surprise to both of us. Tyler: Okey dokey.
Dan: Hands up. Tyler: How big are your hands? Woww, Oh my god. (Dan: That's weird)
I have tiny little baby hands.
Dan: It's like microphilia. Don't Google that. Tyler: Okay!
Dan: The first one, Tyler, hands up, is: Never have I ever taken a photo of another
YouTuber without them knowing.
Tyler: I must have... Dan: You're like, I don't remember doing it, but I know.
Tyler: I'm like, knowing me, I probably at least snapchatted somebody.
Tyler: That's a finger. Dan: Dun Dun Dun! I haven't.
Oooooh. Tyler: Wait, I don't believe you.
Dan: No, I'm against that. It's creepy. Sorry for having - sorry for having morals.
Never have I ever - are you kidding, Phil - had a sexy dream about another YouTuber
*cheeky gay laughter*
Dan: Ohhh, here we go.. Tyler: I one hundred percent have. Dan: Here we go.
Uhh... relatively recently, too! Not you, fuck off
Dan: I'm insulted. It wasn't me? Tyler: It was a British youtuber.
Dan *somewhat offended*: And it wasn't me?
Tyler: Mmm. It was either Marcus or Alfie, and I think it was Alfie, and I'm like
now that I even - Dan: Are you going to send an
apology card to, Zoe, like? Tyler: Nooooo! She's like probably flattered...
Dan: How sexy is sexy?
Tyler: It wasn't like, seeexxyy. Dan: Cause I had a dream that some youtubers were at a pool party
Tyler: That's like - Dan: I think Caspar got out of a pool at
that party so - Tyler: Yeah. Put that finger down!
You were enjoying that wet - (Dan: Okay, okay. There we go, yup!)
Tyler: Never have I ever added a youtuber on facebook
and looked through all their photos.
Yeah, of course I have! Are you kidding me? All my friends.
Dan: Is that a weird thing to do?
Tyler: No, not at all! That's cause we've - Dan: I've definitely done that. I'd add a youtuber and then I'd go like,
okay, immediately backwards from the latest profile picture. Tyler: I'd start at first-
Have you ever looked through Marcus's pictures? Dan: I've - my self-esteem couldn't
handle that
Tyler: No, the beginning-of-time Marcus is very - it's good for everybody.
Dan: That's an evening that I've got planned then!
Tyler: I'll send you a picture and you can post it right here.
You're welcome, Marcus. Dan: But it's good to know that we're both stalkers around our friends.
Tyler: Look at us! Aww. Dan: Little 3 buddies. That's really - what is this?
*more laughs*
Dan: Never have I ever secretly stolen a youtuber's possession to keep as a memento.
Dan: This is next level. (Tyler: Uhhhh) Phil, who do you think we are, Phil?!
Tyler: Yeah that's pretty rude. I don't think I have...
Dan: I love that you're... Tyler: I'm just - I'm like -
Dan: It's like, I wouldn't doubt for a second that I would steal some underwear.
Tyler: I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't, no, I would never steal, like underwear
Dan: I haven't stolen- okay (Tyler: Don't lie.) I'm not a thief.
Tyler: Never have I ever accidentally touched the butt of another YouTuber.
*Dan immediately starts laughing*
Tyler: Uhhhh. Dan: Phil, you little shit. He added this cause he knows I've done it. Tyler: Whose did you touch?
Dan: We were at VidCon a couple weeks ago (Tyler: Is it Glozell?) It was - I mean - I touched all of Glozell's butt- (Tyler: Glozell's butt touched you.)
Dan: Yeah.
*Audience screaming while Glozell does some weird shit*
Dan: There was no consent in that situation. We're the new Nicki and Drake from the Anaconda video. Iconic.
Tyler: Wait, no, whose butt? Whose butt?
Dan: I was doing the thing where you're trying to, like, sneak past a group of people that are too close to the wall and I totally groped
groped John Green. And - Tyler: Oh, but you know, he needed that touch, that human interaction. Dan: He probably
needed it but then he turned around and I ran away and I didn't tell him it was me
Dan: So I don't- I don't know like if you noticed if- I don't know if you're ever gonna watch this video but John, if you
remember someone touching your butt
that was me. (Tyler: Good job.) Dan: I'm really sorry. I-It wasn't sexual. Tyler: I can tell he loved it. (Dan: Unless...)
Dan: Okay
Tyler: so you can tell the truth, it was sexual, (Dan: Okay) it's fine.
Dan: Going in for a cheeky squeeze. Tyler: Oh my god!
Tyler: I don't think I've ever touched a butt. Dan: You've never touched a butt!? *laughs*
Tyler: Not accidentally! *laughter*
Dan: You're a deliberate butt-man - Tyler: I know what I'm up to.
Dan: When you see a butt that you want, you go for it.
Tyler: I can't believe I'm winning!
Dan: I know, wow.
Tyler: Well who's the real winner! Dan: I need to reassess myself.
Dan: Never have I ever read YouTuber fanfiction for your own enjoyment.
Tyler: Okay! Dan: Oooh, so that's not for research. Tyler: Well, 'cause I've done it for research, or for a collab, or this or that or whatever
Tyler: Does it have to be about me? Dan: No. *laughter*
Dan: Spill. Spill immediately.
Tyler: I have no story, I have no story. I'm not gonna say it, I can't say it (Dan: Come on.)
Tyler: I feel my entire face going red.
That's it. It's not like it was smutty..- Dan: Lonely Thursday night. Tyler: Yeah I was just hanging out.
Dan: Crack open some- Tyler: Couple of guys, just me... and me.
And just reading about a couple guys, that's all (it was phanfiction, wasn't it?)
Dan: Having some bro time!
Tyler: Just us. Dan: No shenanigans. Tyler: Uh huh.. Dan: Yup!
Tyler: Have you!?
Dan: Um, okay..... *nervous laughter* Tyler: OH MY GOD!
Dan: Right, right. Every now and then I like to just- I appreciate creative writing, okay. (Tyler: Uh huh.)
Tyler: Never have I ever made a shrine to a youtuber?
Dan: Secret shrine for a YouTuber.
Tyler: I don't think I - No, I don't think I've ever done that.
Tyler: Myself doesn't count.
Dan: Okay, you have the Tyler tribute closet. (Tyler: Yeah, y'know?)
Dan: Good. Tyler: Yeah, I have my own hair, and, like, a booger, (quietly) all those things.
Dan: You guys should all do that for yourselves. That's the homework. (Tyler: That's- that's self-love.)
Dan: Make a shrine for yourself, to affirm yourself.
Tyler: But for another youtuber? No. Dan: No. I mean, I had a lot of Smosh merch when I was 16.
Dan: But that doesn't count. Cause I didn't light any candles around it. Tyler: Okay
Tyler: Yeah that's the key. Dan: That is. Without candles, guys, it's not a shrine,
it's just- a concerning pile of things. Tyler: it's just-it's a pile. Dan: It's a pile.
Dan: *chuckle* Ouch. I don't know if I want to admit to this one.
Dan: Never have I ever asked to collab with someone and been rejected/ignored.
Dan: That's never happened to me because I have no friends. I don't ask for people to collab enough for
that to be an issue... (Dramatic music)
Tyler: I think I've been rejected. Dan: Who's rejected you?
Tyler: I don't want to put them on blast. Dan: I'm going to pat you with my single finger
Tyler: Thank you! That's like all I could ever dream of, is that one-finger touch. Dan: It's like ET.
Tyler: But back to the question at hand. I'll tell you later. Dan: Okay.
Tyler: But, like, it was a very blunt 'No'. Dan: Really?
Tyler: Like, an upset 'No'. (Dan: Ooooh)
Like a disgust 'No'.
Yeah, like that. And I was like (softly) "Okay."
This was years ago. (Dan: Okay.)
Tyler: But, an elephant never forgets. Dan: Tyler never forgets, he's coming for you. Tyler: I will drag you to the pits of hell.
Dan: Well, this is it. (Tyler: Wait.) The penultimate one. Aww, finger buddies.
Tyler: I don't like this. Dan: This video is going to get flagged okay.. *laughter*
Dan: Never have I ever met a youtuber who didn't know who you were.
Dan: You motherf- *laughter* Tyler: I 100% have, obviously. Dan: He wrote that because he knows
that this has happened. This is a tender memory for me so just
everybody quiet for a moment. (*Tyler braces himself*)
Dan: This was in 2010, (Tyler: Mmhmm) I was a big YouTube fan, I went to a meet-up in London
and Charlie McDonnell was there. (Tyler: Yeah.) These guys know this. I was like maybe
you know I've been making videos for like half a year, maybe he'll know who
I am, I went up to him. I was so excited. I'd like idolized ("stalked") Charlie
for many years prior to this so this was a BIG moment for me. I went up
to him and I just went "Hi!"
and then he was just like "Hello", (Tyler: Ohhhh, that was good impression)
And then instantly- I know- and then instantly, I just, I felt a spear, a javelin just like - *stabs self with imaginary javelin*
Tyler: Oh -you were done with it? Dan: I just went,
can I have a hug? (Tyler: Awww, that is so precious.) And then he just looked at me like,
"Why is this man who's at least two foot taller than me, asking-" and then he just gave me this really uncomfortable kind of like
(Tyler: I'm imagining it.) "Guy, why are you... - okay"
and then I left and then I think I cried a bit that night. Tyler: Humble beginnings.
Every friendship starts with a hello. Dan: Every- yeah- a hello followed by an awkward hug.
Tyler: An awkward hello with an awkward hug. (Dan: ...and then a little cry in the evening)
Dan: Who was it for you? Just an endless stream of people? Do you remember any- (Tyler: How dare you!!)
Tyler: Jack and Finn. (Dan: Really?) Uh huh. I went up and I was like "Hi, I'm a big fan, I'm a YouTuber too"
I'd love to make a video someday and they were like (softly) "Okay, thank you so much"
It was like "Okay, I'll see you online" Dan: Standout moment of your life, for sure. Tyler: Yeah, it's- it's vivid.
Dan: So I think we can say from, you know, stalking youtubers who rejected us, to getting rejected for collabs,
to just being a bit creepy, we're both YouTube trash! Tyler: We are garbage.
Dan: Yeaahhhh.
Tyler: I'm affronted by how big your hand was coming at me. It's humongous!
(Dan: High-five, Tyler.) That might be as big as my face.
Tyler: It literally is. Get out of here!
Tyler: Are we ready to shock ourselves? Dan: Oh God, why did we agree to this?
Why did- This is your fault for bringing it!
Tyler: You asked 'how can we be punished?' You begged for punishment.
Dan: It's not worth it, it's not worth-.
Tyler: It's actually going to hurt. I'll do level 10 for 10 seconds.
Dan: What the fuck is level 10?
Tyler: You're about to find out. (Dan: Are you kidding me?)
*beeping noises* *Dan screams* Tyler: One... two... three... four... five...
Dan: What the fuck is happening to my hand?!?! Oh my God, look at this!!! (Tyler: Six... seven... eight... nine... ten.)
Tyler: I felt so bad doing it, oh my God. How do you feel?
I just casually have this in my book bag. Dan (out of breath): Why do you carry that with you?
Tyler: Just for a simp- Anytime I have a simple collab, that I need a punishment for.
Dan: Never collaborate with Tyler Oakley. Tyler: That's why people reject me!
Tyler: (Very quietly.) Should I do it? Or...
Dan: Oh yeah you lost. "Should you do it?" You lost too, motherf- (Tyler: I'm like, "The video's good")
Dan: One there. Tyler: No, no, not right on the vein, oh my god. I didn't put it on your vein.
*beeping* Dan: Eleven! Tyler: Oh! My god! Noo!! *starts screaming* I can't even move!!
Are you counting!? Dan: Oh, uh, four...
five... (Tyler: I can't move my hand!) sssix... seven... eight... ninnnne....
Tyler: Fuck you! (Dan: Ten!) Come on, turn it off!
Dan: How do I turn it off? Tell me! (Tyler: DOWN! THE DOWN BUTTON!) You didn't tell me how to stop it!
Tyler: Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dan: And the moral of that is, never engage in BDSM without a safeword.
Tyler: Ohhh, that is so true.
Tyler: Now I know. (Dan: Banana! Banana!) Is banana our safeword?
Dan: "Banana" will be our "Always". (Tyler: Banana-) *laughter*
Tyler: Okay, never again.
Dan: Thanks for watching; give us a thumbs-up if you enjoyed it!
We made a video over on Tyler's channel playing a thing that we made, didn't we? (Tyler: Yeah!)
Dan: It was the seven second challenge app, go watch that, subscribe to Tyler if you
haven't already. Tyler: And if you're one of my people,
subscribe to Dan because he's one of my faves. I want to know who would you make a
shrine of? Any youtuber, not us,
somebody else. Dan: That's the point. Yeah. What's your safeword? Tyler: Which is also the YouTuber
you would make a shrine of.
My safe word is.. (Dan: Zoe!) Yeah, Zoe.
Glozell. Yeah. (Dan: I just snorted!-)
Tyler: Aww.. Dan: This needs to end. Bye! Tyler: Bye friends!