Now it’s been a few minutes since I’ve done some kukri video art, and I almost feel
a physical pain because I haven’t chopped with one.
Of course, that just might be a lingering injury, batoning elbow, or what not.
But if you follow my feed on Instagram, I mean I’d avoid it like the plague, but if
you do, you’ll know I’ve acquired two new Kukris this year.
Both are from a small Nepalese company, called Kaliash blades who specialize in fulfilling
kukri fantasys of internet idiots everywhere.
In this review I will discuss one of two Kailash blades from them I own, and in another tedious
video I will discuss the second- as to have as much possible Kukri footage as one can
conceivably have.
It isn’t gonna make this guy happy though.
This video specifically is for a sorta traditionalist Pensioner Kukri they make with a custom leather
stacked handle.
But before we go any further let’s take a look at the dimensions, like the overall
length and weight.
With and without that sheath.
You get any new kukris this year, this week maybe?
Blade length and cutting edge.
Throw any kukri themed parties?
Taken it to any nice films?
Handle size and grip area.
Maybe a romantic dinner.
You’re not lonely if you have your kukri.
Spine thickness, handle thickness.
Danced with some kukris?
Feel the heat from some kukris.
Tallnesses.
Ok don’t get intimate with your kukri because that’ll ruin your heat treat.
It’s no secret that kukris are a favorite chopper of mine, so much that I strike up
conversations with strangers about them in public restrooms, churches, and in the parking
lot near their cars.
My first Kukri was the Indian made BudK internet cheapie, and the Kukri that chops the proverbial
apple in my eye is my Zombie Tools Vakra- a hybrid of modern and traditional design
elements.
Also I hope you’ve been taking a drink overtime I say Kukri.
Or is it Khoo-koo-ree.
Now traditional Kukris as you know come from Nepal, and I guarantee you that if you post
anything kukri related on the internet and that Kukri isn’t from Nepal- you will be
kukrisplained by someone who has read all the wikipedia kukri content and the forum
posts just like you have.
(Kukri plainer voice) This is not a real kukri- a real kukri is currently sheathed in my rectum.
But let’s focus on the Kalish pensioner and what it is, and what it isn’t- or you
can just look below this video to see what some real expert tells you it is.
The blade is made out of 5150 differentially hardened carbon steel.
Carbon steel can rust if not cared for and lubed with oil, and it takes on a patina over
time.
Patinas are the gentlemen’s corrosion.
The particular finish here is mirrored or the shiny kind as areal knife guys call it.
Oh then there’s that large blood groove, remember on this channel we don’t call it
a fuller because it really pisses people off.
Like it pisses them off as much as it does me when I have to argue with my insurance
company about shit not being billed correctly by the hospital.
You know how many comments I’ve gotten on my buck video about “it’s not a blood
groove?”
Fuck off.
So we save some weight there, as well as the tang which is a rat tail like that picture
of you from the third grade.
And all of this puts the center of balance about 4 and a half fingers north of the bolster.
And as far as batoning blades go kukris aren’t the best, I mean they’re ok but as a baton
artist I prefer a straight spine.
I’m just saying optimally- because I can almost baton with anything.
The handle.
Nepalese and Indian Kukris are often hand finished blades made using hand tools.
So you’re not getting a cookie cutter, or kukri cutter if you will (dad laugh) huh huh
huh.. cookie cutter exact replicas of one another.
And since they’re hand finished sometimes the handle areas are a little rough for us
keyboard alphas.
The leather stacked handle here gets rid of the ringed handle found in most kukris and
gives it a nice gentle curve and a palm swell- with brass and horn accents closer to the
bolster and butt cap.
The butt cap on this one is still a bit edgy and you encounter the butt area somewhat frequently
during your wood beating sessions- as you swing.
A set of gloves might keep your smooth fancy hands hot spot free or you could just always
stop whining for a change.
The pleasure of beating on wood helps you forget.
This particular pensioner isn’t full tang, and during my chopping sessions I found no
tradeoff in durability, but a big payoff in overall weight and balance.
The sheath.
For any of Kaliash’s blades you have 3 options, well four I guess if you count nothing.
3 options, kydex, traditional, and Western.
I’m going to say something unpopular here, especially for kukristas.
I don’t like traditional kukri sheaths, they’re bulky and ride too high.
I guess Kydex is cool, but the default Western Leather sheath is pretty great.
Thick welted and sewn leather, with a loop at the end should you want to lash it to the
leg.
And Hallelujah it’s a dangler.
The handle retention loop is a little tight and you need to practice getting it right
to close it.
however the lower blade retention loop is just find for keeping it in there and easy
to snap on the go.
Comparisons.
First the Pensioner.
It’s the lightest most charming kukri I own, even lighter than the BudK.
And when I wake up next to it in the morning it always tells me I look handsome.
It was amazingly sharp out of the package, and is still sharp after a whoopin’.
The sweet spot for me in a Kukri, other than it’s taste, is a blade spine between 5 and
6.5 ish MM and this is that.
Now these cheap BudKs are one thing- they’re light and basic and $20.
They’re kinda dull out of the box, but that’s what the chakmaks for.
I of course have lost mine- but I just use the ones in my HI kukris.
The BudK used to be my lightest kurki, but the pensioner is lighter and longer.
The BudK has a slightly slimmer spine in some areas but doesn’t have as much distal tapering
and has that let’s call it “full tang.”
Full in places?
Now the Himalayan Imports which is about a $150 knife.
Both of my HI blade are near a centimeter at the thickest section of the blade spine.
Do they need to be?
Even extraordinary idiots like myself don’t need a centimeter of blade stock- it makes
the blade too heavy.
And believe it or not, and you didn’t hear it here- there are better purpose built devices
for splitting and chopping wood.
I’m not quite convinced additional weight really improves the chopping.
Now the Vakra.
I still haven’t decided if I like the Kalishes better than the Zombie Tools.
The fact is the zombie tools has a more comfortable handle… it’s nearly $300 though, and this
Kailash is about $200.
The zombie tools has more a knife style edge bevel, and the Kalish has a convex grind all
the way to the edge.
And one more the Kaliash Scourge Anniversary edition.
I paid about $240 for this with shipping.
I know it’s not a traditional kukri- but boy is it nice looking.
Got that sculpted handle and the don’t fuck with me looks.
I haven’t chopped with this much yet, but expect to see it reviewed this month or early
next month- I’ve had this since February- so think how it feels for me!
Wrapping it up.
The Pensioner.
My particular version is a prototype- because the leather stacked handle still isn’t a
standard option but you can email them and request it.
I paid a reduced price for it- I think they may change the details out near the bolster
and butt cap and use a different material- making it less horny overall.
You understand I’ve been holding out making that joke until the end right?
Kailash not only makes Kukris but they make bowies, swords, machetes, and can help you
customize basically anything in a fixed blade or kukri.
Plus they send you progress pictures as it’s made.
This is my second blade from them, and I’m far more impressed with the Kailash’s versus
the 2 Himalayan imports.
The Kailash kukris aren’t flawless, and have a hand made feel, but their extra attention
to grinds, sharpening, balance, heat treat, spine thickness, distal tapering, and making
a pretty good sheath all set them apart from standard Kukris.
There are still other companies that get raves like Tora, that I plan on buying from in the
future- but I don’t see them being much better than the Kailash.
The handles are an improvement over my Himalayan imports, although they still have some areas
that might affect tender hands like mine- glove would fix that right up.
I didn’t get any blisters, or cuts because thats because I’m a pro and my hands are
a dry calloused mess.
I mean you know that by now.
Anyway look for my upcoming Kailash Scourge review in a few weeks or so.
Follow links below the video and check out Kailash blades- if you’re into the same
chopper bullshit I am.
They also have a very good Instagram feed showing the guys who make the blades, and
all sorts of unique large knives and choppers they make- not just Kukris.
The pensioner is a pretty great kukri though.
I feel as awesome about it as I do my Zombie Tools- it’s a great chopper.
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Thanks for watching.