Hey, how are you? I'm okay
Or actually I feel pretty good. It's just that the circumstances are a little bit subpar
I'm not complaining but I feel like I'm finally starting to wrap my head around the fact that I have a brain tumor
You get that?
Still got it. But this is about something completely different because, a couple of weeks ago
I got to give a TED talk like the real big TED and it was hard and
fun, which also sounds like a dating profile. But one of the things I learned is that I suck at vlogging because I try to
vlog it and, looking through the footage, I'm like, "I have no idea what's going on and I was there for it"
This is me clapping
*clap*
So, Ted contacted me almost a year ago asking if I wanted to give a talk and, as soon as I said yes
they scheduled rehearsals and brainstorming sessions. They started sending me literature that I should read
but even though they did all of that, I still managed to
procrastinate writing the talk up until about two weeks before I was gonna go there
It was just that every time I would think about it
It would be the same feeling as like when you're walking down a staircase and you think you've got it all the way down
But then there's like an extra unanticipated step. So you have like that
*sharp inhale*
So instead of writing the talk, the first thing I did was make myself a shirt, that I was gonna wear on stage
The thing is I'm very productive when I procrastinate, just in areas that are completely irrelevant
Maybe you're procrastinating something by watching me procrastinate.
There's a lot of layers
Mmm, anyway, here's me making a shirt
*snap* *snap*
Yay! It's like a little "yay", but from your hand
I can't do it with my other hand.
Aw man, you are such a talent Scott
Scott: Ambidextrous snap
Today I'm making a shirt out of googly eyes.
I know, usually I'm so subtle in my fashion choices
So I'm thinking I'm gonna laser-cut these back plates out of acrylic
and then have these like stick on googly eyes
And then just like make almost like chainmail.
It's like an armor of fun. Also. The slogan is all eyes on me
Telling you people like googly eyes. I like googly eyes. I bought a thousand googly eyes.
Have I said googly eyes enough? I get insecure. Is it Google eyes or googly eyes?
Okay. Are you ready for this? This is my good move.
So I made a few different things *these* are the ones that are gonna make up the bulk of the shirt
They're just like the regular four corner ones.
These ones so that kind of what makes the edge and this is the biggest pain of this project I think!
Taking off the protective coating off of everything. It takes a long time. It kind of kills your fingernails
Let's get our hands in paaaain
Back to current time. Yeah, here's the shirt, clasps in the back.
It also makes the best noise, but that's terrible for audio
Sorry, Simone who's editing this. I don't know what you're talking about
So all of this was obviously before I found out that I had a tumor that might make me go blind
having a shirt made out of
217 plastic eyeballs feels a little bit wrong now but also like weirdly right, it's kind of like the brain emoji
it's like very appropriate yet, very
inappropriate anyway back to the TED talk
We're flying to Vancouver today, I've been nervous a fair amount of times in my life
But I think this is the worst I've ever had.
Also I only slept eight hours tonight and it's really, I can really feel it. A little known fact, I usually sleep like 10 hours a night
Who's that? It's my mom
Who's also coming to Vancouver for motherly support. Are you nervous?
(under breath "too?") Mom: I'm hungry
Okay, let's eat some food and pack up. Marcos built this like ginormous wood crate so we could, er, shift the head orbit.
I'm bringing the toothbrush helmet you just go in there
Shhh shh shhhhh
I think they're not going to let us on the airplane with this. We've like checked the maximum weight
You can pay yourself out of? A hundred pounds?
*makes strained noises whilst lifting*
Do you see the little scale number is like 40 kilos, what's that in pounds? Alexa!
What's 40 kilograms in pounds?
88.19 great. That's great. How are we getting this in a car?
*TED noise*
Lady:And you sir.
*TED noise*
Oh
We're Vancouver in the building where Ted is I just, er, had a rehearsal in one of these rehearsal rooms
Here's the actual red dot the Ted dot
I hope I can give my talk laying down. So if I pass out nobody's gonna notice
If we put it in slo-mo it's gonna look like I stood for a really long time
*motor whirring*
m'kay
*motor whirring*
Uhhhh. I think it's like an hour left now. I got hair and make up. Adam's here, which is really nice
I'm feeling good. I am so excited for it to be over with. Yeah. That's about it
Also, just been like going through all the machines they seem to be working
All right. The session is starting soon and it's like seven sessions
Within one. I'm right in the middle
She's here to tell us why we should all be more comfortable with making things that are a bit rubbish.
Please welcome, Simone Giertz.
*applause*
Ooooo
Hello, my name is Simone
So yeah, that was, er, my TED talk
I just went up on stage and only said my name and it was really just Powerful.
Go watch the full talk on TED.com there's of course a link in the description
and just to clarify I said more things than just my name. I also said the names of other people.
Also, your sentimental grandma Simone speaking
But giving a TED talk is like one of the high points in
My working life and I am just so grateful that I got to do that before I found out about
the brain tumor because I'm not sure I'd been able to do it if I'd known that I was sick and like I got my
life's first standing ovation
and also I got to see like Adam and Mom in the audience and I don't know it was just very very
Special for me. For me? It was specially made for me. The whole thing was for me. No, but it was very special
What do you say it meant a lot?
It was a precious memory that I'm gonna store somewhere in my head that they probably keep intact. Too bizarre?
hmmmm?
also, thank you so much for all of your sweet comments and messages and
Patreon pledges. I've like been opening packages crying like happy tears because you're really the freakin best
I don't know what I've done to deserve all of you
So this is the last video before I go into surgery. May 30th. Put it in your calendars and send me some
scientific prayers
I'm scared, but there's also a small part of me that's kind of excited
It's a very similar mix of emotions as I had leading up to my TED talk actually.
I don't think I'm gonna get a goody bag at the hospital though, but I'll probably get some pretty great pain meds. So
That's something. I'll see you on Instagram and Patreon and Twitter
Errr, and go watch the TED talk. It's short. That's like the main selling point I have *trails off laughing*
Okay, bye
*click*