Cheating Wives And Crazy Girlfriends
- [Presenter] Volume 18,
Cheating Wives and Crazy Girlfriends.
(beeping)
My girlfriend cheated with my best friend from work.
What do I do?
I'm sorry for the length of this.
Just need to write it down to gain clarity of my own.
Around a year ago,
I started to get romantically involved
with a girl from work.
Was not my girlfriend officially.
The relationship was still new
when lockdown came into effect here in the UK,
but while the isolation has made things harder at times,
I've been very happy and feeling good
about where my girlfriend and I were.
Recently,
we've been partially able to go back into the office again,
social distancing allowing.
And on Friday, my girlfriend went for drinks
with a group of people from the office after work.
Nothing to worry about there.
As the night progressed,
I got the feeling that something was up.
So, I text her to check in and see.
She was distant and seemingly annoyed,
as she heard a rumor
that I had slept with someone from the office previously,
as in, prior to us getting involved.
I can categorically state that this is utterly untrue.
Anyway, the night progressed and it got super late.
So, I let myself into her place to feed her cat for her.
And then, went home to bed.
The next day, she was evasive and would barely talk to me.
And then, out of the blue, she ended it,
citing that things hadn't been working out at all,
and that she wanted me to leave her alone.
Another day passed and at around 9:00 p.m.
she messages me saying she needed to talk to me.
So, we went for a drive.
And while we were out,
she informed me that she had had sex
with someone from the office.
The guy she slept with is also my closest friend at work
and someone I spend a large portion of my working day
alongside as we're part of the same project team.
I haven't been able to face work since then.
And to my shame, ended up hospitalized on Sunday night
due to taking a kitchen knife to my arm.
I'm physically fine and have stitches,
but mentally, I'm in pieces.
How do I ever return to the job I love?
How do I forgive her?
How do I forgive him?
I'm drowning under the weight of this.
(beeping)
- [Woman] I'm so sorry this happened to you,
but please stop harming yourself.
You don't see it like this now,
but eventually, you'll see that your ex girlfriend
and your coworker are just horrible people
with their own horrible reasons.
They hurt you incredibly,
but in the grand scheme of things,
they're not worth harming yourself over.
No one is worth harming themselves over.
I know you don't see it that way now.
You probably feel
like you just want to crawl into a corner and die.
I get that because I've been there.
But we're just all humans on the same rock,
moving around, searching for a connection.
This connection ended terribly.
Don't let it define you.
There will be many more connections in your life,
and they'll be beautiful, I promise.
(beeping)
- [Man] Wow, that's rough.
Maybe try to find a different job.
Same field, though.
And also, therapy would be really helpful for you.
Sorry that this happened to you.
But you'll just get stronger from that experience.
And don't forgive your ex girlfriend or your coworker.
(beeping)
You don't have to forgive them.
Plainly speaking,
you don't have to love everyone you work with.
Something you might know.
He is not your friend and have never been your friend.
She is not your friend, she will never be.
Knowing that,
keep your interactions with them strictly professional.
It's okay if you try and find job anywhere while doing it.
Whenever they try and talk to you
about something that is not job related, you decline.
Also, they will try and destroy you
because people do it when they are evil.
So, you have to put your cellphone into recording mode
whenever you interact with them.
That's a precaution.
Don't even think of accepting your ex-girlfriend back.
She is evil and poison to you.
(beeping)
You don't have to forgive,
but you can accept the reality of it.
They both acted like shitty, selfish people,
and deserve each other.
Get some counseling,
and that plus time will give you perspective.
A lot of people, probably most,
create a facade or favorable version of themselves.
Eventually, they show who they are.
It's part of the process for finding the right one
who is their true self,
and something when you find should be cherished.
Best advice I can give is enjoy the moments you did have,
but don't linger on what it wasn't or couldn't be.
Hopefully, you had some good times,
and come away with some experiences
that become wisdom in selecting better partners
in the future.
However, don't close yourself off to new people.
Be aware, but don't punish them for past partners' mistakes.
(beeping)
If you can't avoid interacting with him at some point,
smile and say, "She's all yours now,
"till she cheats on you."
Do not show vulnerability, sadness or anger.
Show you're fine with the outcome.
He's now got the cheating partner, you're free.
(beeping)
- [Woman] You know, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Don't let insecure people take you down with them.
Go to work, hold your head high,
and be secure in that you did nothing wrong.
You stand on the high ground morality while they don't.
Put your power to climb in position or educate yourself
so that you can move on to something different.
And make a note to yourself
that you don't start a relationship
with someone from the same workplace again.
Go forth and conquer.
(beeping)
- [Man] You don't forgive either of them.
That is the first step
towards putting yourself back together.
They don't deserve your forgiveness.
And I can promise you that they certainly weren't talking
about how bad they felt for you while they were having sex.
The very first step to this is respecting yourself enough
to cut people like that out of your life.
(beeping)
Sadly, you may have to face him
if you decide to stay at that place of employment.
However, doesn't mean you have to like him.
He deserves the worst.
I could go into graphic detail, but that won't help you.
She isn't better.
But I read a post where this guy
literally got his shit back together.
Took some time and she realized her life sucked
and went crawling back.
Told him to tell her to piss off.
You should, too,
if your ex-girlfriend comes crawling back.
(beeping)
Don't let them see you hurt.
If he says something to you,
just kindly remind him she cheated,
and what's to stop her again?
Also, my favorite line
to exit a conversation with someone I can't stand,
let them finish what they're saying,
look at them for a few seconds and say, "Are you done?"
This of course should be with personal conversations,
not about work because that could get you in trouble.
(beeping)
I have been there
and many people that have will comment on this post.
I'm telling you this,
you don't have to forgive either one of them.
But do not harm yourself again.
Your life is special and it's special because you are alive.
And that's a gift that needs to be cherished,
even if no one besides you cherishes it.
If it helps, focus your energy, time and invest in yourself.
Take it one day, one step at a time,
and you will find happiness, again.
And if at all, you have a friend in me.
No pun intended.
(beeping)
Well, screw them, then.
Don't let these horrible people get you down.
It will take some time and you will be back on your feet.
Personally, I would go and look for a different job.
But not without a little bit of revenge.
But first, get some counseling for your mental health.
(beeping)
You can start by getting mental health care,
because stabbing yourself with a knife
is a reaction to your horrible ex-girlfriend
and supposedly best friend cheating on you
isn't doing you any favors.
(beeping)