Jo: I mean, love is love.
It doesn't matter what colour your skin is
or how you come across it.
Love is love.
Ananga: Well, what can we say?
My name is Ananga,
I'm 76... is it?
76 years old.
Jo: Hi, I'm Joanna.
I'm the other half.
Ananga: Well, I was born in Dehiwala, in Sri Lanka.
I was ten years old when I came to England.
I thought that I owed something to this country,
and so that's why I joined the RAF.
Both: Pooley Bridge.
Jo: That's where we first met.
Ananga: We were in a cafe.
Joanna was sort of staring at me.
Me eyes just popped open,
and I said,
‘John, I've just met the girl I want to marry’.
Jo: So we met on the 27th July 1972, and we got married
on the 27th July 1974.
Ananga: Two years to the day.
Ananga: Because she wore the sari, she said,
‘Well, you'll have to go in uniform’.
Jo: You looked ever so smart and handsome.
And I knew we were starting off on an adventure together.
Jo: Your mum taught me how to make curries.
Because not many people know Sri Lankan cookery,
it's lovely to introduce other people to
what we love.
So that to us, that’s what it means.
It means showing of love.
Ananga: I feel fantastic about it, that she's embraced my love for curries.
Jo: Yeah, your culture and things you do.
Jo: It was really rare to see mixed marriage, Asian and white.
Ananga: People gave us six months.
Jo: They couldn't understand that I could fall in love,
or he could fall in love, with somebody not of his ethnic origin.
And part of us decided to stick two fingers up the doubters.
I think the longer you’re married the more you grow together
and become friends.
Equal partners.
Ananga: The love deepens.
Jo: And you have a good, good friendship.
Jo: You're very outgoing, you're very friendly.
You’ll talk to anybody.
And little by little, that started to disappear.
Jo: We, the family, had noticed that his memory was getting worse.
You can never really prepare for a life-changing diagnosis.
Ananga: I didn't understand what was happening.
Jo: You were in total denial when they first told you
that you had Alzheimer's disease.
Jo: I think the saddest and the hardest thing
was when he said, ‘I'll get better’.
And I had to say, ‘No, you're never going to get better,
you're going to get worse, but you're not going to get better.
And there may come a time when you won't even know me’.
Jo: It was hard to to think that all of our plans,
and hopes and dreams about being retired,
and setting off to the sunset, weren't viable.
Jo: He stops in the middle of walking and just won't move.
There’s been people push him out of the way.
He’s got a zimmer frame.
He’s trying to get on the train and somebody’s trying
to get him out the way so they can get on the train.
So I stand like that.
‘You’re not getting on until my husband gets on first’.
He had a couple of really bad falls, so I bought him a stick
to help him get around.
His brain is telling him to walk, but it's not getting to his legs.
So he'll trip up.
And the same with his speech.
He's trying to talk, and he's having a bad day,
and he's really, really stuttering.
Ananga: I have good days and bad days.
Today isn't as good as yesterday
because I'm really trying
to speak
normally.
Jo: The hardest thing is to know that
day by day, month by month, little by little, I'm losing my husband.
There's a lot of things that are really, really difficult to take.
I mean, there are some days where I could just cry.
I will be honest with you, I was very close
to having a nervous breakdown.
Sorry.
Jo: Alzheimer's Society, they've been like
another arm to the caring process.
The support person we have from Alzheimer's Society is fabulous
at what she does.
Cathy was able to show you that life still goes on.
Through her, I was able to be a better carer.
She was there to tell me, ‘Yes, you’re on the right track.
Yes, you’re doing ok.
Pat yourself on the back, you’re alright.
You’re getting there, it’s fine’.
Once a month, I go to a carers meeting.
It's either face to face or online, we do both.
Bringing us together to talk to other carers,
I felt very, very blessed.
He also has a voice in Alzheimer's Society.
We do team meetings.
Ananga: To me it was a chance of meeting other people
with the same journey.
Jo: And he looks forward to it.
He does it at least once a week for Alzheimer’s Society
in one form or another.
And all of that is helping him to still be an active part of society
and to believe he has something to give.
And that's hugely improving his mental health.
Ananga: If it wasn't for Alzheimer’s Society,
people would be lost because they won't have
a guiding light.
Jo: Fond memories, eh?
Marriage to me is a little bit like your favorite slippers.
It’s very comfortable and it's warming.
Ananga: And it's the closeness, the two of you become one.
So that she can read my thoughts and I can read -
Jo: And he can't read mine.
Ananga: I forget.
Jo: It's 48 years of building memories.
And all of those memories are steeped in wherever we call home.
It's in the pictures, the books, and the little trinkets.
Jo: It’s my Teddy.
Jo: So we renewed our vows to each other
by saying that we will always be there for each other.
Ananga: We’ll stand by eachother.
And I feel humble that she picked me to be her partner in life.