LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, MY NEXT
GUESTS HAVE TWO OSCARS, EIGHT EMMYS, A GRAMMY, TWO TONYS, AND
SOME WORKOUT TAPES.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY NOW STAR IN THE NETFLIX
SERIES "GRACE AND FRANKIE".
>> GRACE -- I AM A PRIVATE PERSON.
YOU ARE THE LEAST PRIVATE PERSON IN THE WORLD!
FIRST TIME I MET YOU, YOU PULLED OFF YOUR SHIRT AND SAID, DO
THESE THINGS LOOK RIGHT TO YOU?
>> LOOK, I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO TELL YOU BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE
HAS BEEN WORKING WITH YOU AND SLEEPING WITH JACOB.
THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE COFFEE BREAKS.
>> I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR EVERY SHOULD I AND SHOULDN'T I WITH
YOU TWO.
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HANGING NOW?
>> I DON'T KNOW, YOU MADE SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF SEX AND THE
VAGINA, AND IT IS A BIG DEAL.
HAVING A PAIR OF SCISSORS ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE JUST DOESN'T SET
THE RIGHT TONE.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME JANE FONDA AND LILY TOMLIN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR INVITING US.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
GOOD, YOU KNOW.
I HAVE BEEN GREAT, I HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: NOT A CONTEST, BUT LILY SEEMS TO BE WINNING.
>> THINGS DON'T AFFECT HER AS MUCH AS THEY AFFECT ME.
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER 32 YEARS?
>> 72 YEARS.
>> Stephen: OH YOU MET DURING THE HOOVER ADMINISTRATION.
( LAUGHTER ) 37 YEARS AGO, 9:00 TO 5:00.
KIND OF A GROUND-BREAKING MOVIE.
IT'S LIKE A WOMEN'S POWER IN THE WORKPLACE COMEDY, BUT I
UNDERSTAND IT DIDN'T START OFF AS A COMEDY.
>> NO, I CO-PRODUCED IT.
WE STARTED IT OFF WITH VERY DARK COMEDY.
ONE NIGHT I WENT TO SEE LILY IN HER ONE SHOW APPEARING NIGHTLY
AND I WAS SMITTEN AND I SAID I DON'T TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT
SECRETARIES UNLESS SHE'S IN IT.
THEN I TURNED ON THE RADIO ON MY WAY HOME AND SHE WAS PLAYING TWO
DOORS DOWN.
IMAGINE IF DOLLY PARTON WAS PLAYING SECRETARY -- OF COURSE
YOU COULDEN SEE HER HANDS -- BUT I HAD TO HAVE THEM TO TURN IT
INTO A COLDY.
IT TOOK A YEAR TO CONVINCE THEM.
>> Stephen: IT TOOK A YEAR?
TO GET HER AND DOLLY TO DO IT.
>> Stephen: HI DIDN'T YOU WANT TO DO IT?
>> I DIDN'T WANT TO DO A CHEAP COMEDY.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ARTIST ON BROADWAY.
>> I WAS LOOKING AT SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS.
I HAD TO PERSUADE HER THAT I WASN'T THE RIGHT PERSON FOR HER.
>> SHE'S NOT KIDDING.
NOT KIDDING?
IT TOOK A YEAR TO CONVINCE HER AND AFTER A WEEK OF SHOOTING
SHE ASKED MY PRODUCING PARTNER TO LET HER GO AND SHE WOULD GIVE
THE WEEK WITH'S MONEY BACK.
>> Stephen: IS THAT TRUE?
YES.
>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU WANT TO BACK OUT AFTER A WEEK?
>> I SAW MYSELF ON DOREEN SOUTH KOREAN IN THE DAILIES AND I WAS
TALKING TO THE BIRDS THAT WEREN'T THERE AND I WAS NOT
DOING A GOOD JOB AND I THOUGHT, OH, I'M GOING TO BE HORRIBLE IN
THIS.
IT WAS MY ONLY SECOND MOVIE -- THIRD MOVIE, I GUESS.
>> SO?
>> Stephen: BUT YOU STAYED FRIENDS?
>> I WAS SO GLAD, I SAW THE NEXT DAY'S DAILIES, AND I WAS SO
GOOD!
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THAT'S THE DANGER,
YOU CAN'T WATCH YOURSELF.
>> I BEGGED HER SO LET ME BE IN IT.
>> I WATCH ALL THE DAILY LIS AND THEN REPORT TO HER.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
I DO.
WE DID STAY FRIENDS.
>> OH, WE DID.
WE DID.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS DID THE WOMEN'S MARCH OUT
IN -- >> L.A.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: A SHOCK TO
EVERYBODY.
>> 750,000 PEOPLE, MEN, WOMEN, BABY CARRIAGES, WHEELCHAIRS.
>> DOGS.
WERE THERE, YES ( LAUGHTER )
SNOWYOU'VE DONE SOME PROTESTING IN THE PAST, JANE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THIS IS YOU ARRESTED FOR PROTESTING IN 1970.
THAT'S A GOOD MUG SHOP.
NOBODY EVER GETS ONE THAT GOOD.
>> I WAS ACCUSED OF SMUGGLING DRUGS.
THEY WERE VITAMIN PILLS.
THE GUY ARRESTING ME SAID HE WAS TAKING ORDERS FROM THE NIXON
WHITE HOUSE.
IT WAS A FRAMEUP.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU ON THE NIXON ENEMIES LIST?
>> WELL, I JUST -- YES, I WAS!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHAT AN HONOR!
I KNOW!
>> Stephen: IF I FIND OUT I WASN'T ON TRUMP'S ENEMY LIST, I
WILL BE VERY INSULTED.
>> DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL BE THERE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET ARRESTED?
>> WELL -- NO.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A LAWYER PRESENT BEFORE YOU ANSWER
THAT QUESTION, LILY TOM LYNN?
>> I KIND OF WOULD.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO POINT SOMETHING OUT HERE, JANE FONDA,
IF I MAY.
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE MAKING LEMONADE OUT OF LEMONS.
HERE'S YOUR MUG SHOT.
IF YOU GO TO JANEFONDA.com YOU CAN BUY A MUGSHOT MUG.
DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS FOR SALE?
( APPLAUSE ) >> IT'S MY BLOG!
>> Stephen: WELL I DON'T RUN THE STORE AT CBS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SELLING WITH MY FACE ON IT.
>> ALL THE MONEY GOES TO MY NONPROFIT.
>> Stephen: GOES FOR CHARITY, THAT'S NICE.
( APPLAUSE ) SO THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE
TELEVISED BUT WILL BE MEM MERCHANDISED.
>> I HAVE A BUSINESS MODEL FOR TRUMP.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT?
ADULT DIAPERS, THEY COULD BE CALLED TRUMPERS, TO HELP WITH
ALL THE LEAKS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: YOUNG LADIES.
YES.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR SHOW, "GRACE AND FRANKIE."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE TWO FRIENDS WHO END UP LIVING TOGETHER AFTER
YOUR HUSBANDS FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND LEAVE YOU.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU SUPPORT EACH OTHER AND YOU HAVE BEEN FRIENDS
FOR A LONG TIME.
YOU GO INTO BUSINESS IN SEASON 3.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE BUSINESS YOU GO INTO.
>> ADULT VIBRATORS FOR OLDER WOMEN.
AT THE END OF SEASON 2 A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF OURS GIVES US
BOTH PRESENTS AND THE ONE SHE GIVES ME IS A VIBRATOR AND GRACE
NEVER USED ONE AND SHE ENDS UP WITH CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME AND
SHE CAN'T READ THE DIRECTIONS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO SMALL, SO
THEY DECIDE TO MAKE VIBRATORS FOR ADULT WOMEN WITH VERY EASILY
MOVABLE HEADS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOVE -- YOU KNOW.
IS AND SHE COMES UP WITH THIS GREAT RUBBER SLEEVE YOU PUT ON.
AND ALSO THE PRINTING IS BIG AND THE SPEEDS GLOW IN THE DARK.
>> Stephen: WHAT GLOWS IN THE DARK?
>> THE SPEEDS -- YOU KNOW, SLOW, MEDIUM, FAST.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: GOOD.
GOOD.
AND IS YOUR CHARACTER ON BOARD WITH THIS?
>> OH, YEAH, WELL, I WAS FAMILIAR WITH VIBRATORS BEFORE.
( LAUGHTER ) MY CHARACTER WAS FAMILIAR.
>> Stephen: SURE.
BY THE WAY, I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY CBS THAT WE CAN DISCUSS THIS AS
LONG AS IT'S IN THE CONTEXT OF THE SHOW.
>> AND ANATOMICALLY CORRECT.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
YES, THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TOLD.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW OF ANY PENISES THAT DO
THIS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> IT'S FOR WOMEN!
>> Stephen: I KNOW, BUT ANATOMICALLY CORRECT WHAT?
WHAT IS IT THAT'S ANATOMICALLY CORRECT?
>> NO SLANG.
>> Stephen: OH, NO SLANG!
YOU CAN'T CALL IT LIKE A STEELY DAN OR SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER ) >> TELL HER WHAT THE NAME OF IT
IS.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE NAME.
HE'LL CRITICIZE MY FRENCH BUT IT'S M -- MENAGE AMOIR.
>> Stephen: SE LA VIE!
( LAUGHTER ) LOVELY TO SEE YOU BOTH.
>> NOTICE OUR PLANNED PARENTHOOD PINS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SEASON 3 OF "GRACE
AND FRANKIE" IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX.
JANE FONDA AND LILY TOMLIN, EVERYBODY!