Hello folks. Welcome to my new cooking show: Skewered by Celeste Barber.
That’s me.
Today’s guest is none other than fashion icon, Alex Perry.
He’s going to cook for me. He might even get Skewered himself!
Welcome to Skewered.
Oh, hi Alex Perry. I’m so happy to see you!
I’m so happy to see you too.
Are you though? I can’t tell.
God, it just doesn’t move, does it?
Nah, not a bit.
Wow.
Freshly botoxed.
Speaking of fresh... HelloFresh!
Do you know that you are my second favourite designer in the world?
Who’s the first?
Tom Ford. We made out.
If that’s what it takes, I’m good.
I am wearing an Alex Perry though. Do you like it?
Don’t touch me. I’m doing the model thing.
Hungry and scared - but grateful.
It could be tighter though.
Nah, your face could be tighter.
No, it couldn’t.
And what’s that?
Oh, yeah, I didn’t think you would see that.
I spilt a bit of wine.
Anyway, why don’t we get to it?
Is it lamb?
Spiced Lamb with Pearl Couscous.
There’s no marks.
Have you ever thought about making wine-resistant dresses?
Ah, no I haven’t.
Can you get me some tongs, so I can sear the lamb?
Yes
I think it would be really good, they would fly off the rack.
Don’t you reckon? With drunk mums -they'd love it.
You know, really not my target market.
Tongs.
Okay, so I’m going to put this in. Got the pan nice and hot.
Do you reckon that lamb weighs more than some models you dress?
Could you get me a bowl please?
Yes
Amazing.
Yumm…
Put this little baby in there.
Yaassss!
Okay. Oven on.
Why can’t you...
...Okay, fine.
What are you doing?
We’re putting some oil on this and some spices.
Technically, we are going to smoosh it around a little bit.
Want some wine?
No, but how about a baking tray?
Yes, here’s one I prepared earlier.
You’ve literally never done this before in your life, have you?
No, but look how easy it is. I’m smashing it.
Okay, so in the baking tray and then you can put that in the top shelf of the oven.
You can stand there. I’ll do it.
I will. I’ll stand here.
Done.
Great.
You look really nice today.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, this is yours. But this is just normal for me.
No, I saw hair and makeup on you for three hours this morning.
It was like a SWAT team.
No, they weren’t, this is how I look all the time.
This is all natural.
So is my forehead.
We’re going to put the cauliflower in next.
There’s twelve drawers in this kitchen.
Some sea salt.
Twelve - and they're all used!
And a little bit of cracked pepper.
This is nearly ready, so are you going to put in in the oven for me?
- Ah, no, you can do that. - Okay.
Just admire the view maybe.
Did you know that’s not real?!
This is the fun bit. You bash it.
Oh, that sounds good. OK. Want some help?
Yeah, I’d love some help.
All of it.
My favourite things in the world, capers.
Lovely and salty.
Couscous in the pan pan.
And you put that all in there.
Yes, darling.
Do you know it makes it easier if you actually put the spoon around that way?
- And you’ll be able to get the bits out. - Oh, but I got it out!
It’s nearly the same colour as my dress.
It’s nowhere near it. Keep stirring.
Okay, so we need to put some spinach in here as well.
I’ve noticed when you’re putting in this sort of stuff in,
it’s better to do it from a height.
No, I don’t think that right. I think that’s with other things.
- Look at that. - No, I don't think...
OK. From a height.
What’s that? Is that you?
No, I think it’s you.
IT’S THE LAMB!
It’s time for the lamb! I’m so excited!
It looks so good! Yes!
Do you want some or not?
Yah! Absolutely!
Get in my belly!
We’re going to rest it on the board for a little bit.
Well it’s resting, let’s get a wine.
No?
Okay.
Ready?
- Yeah! - Yeah?
Awwwwwww!
How hungry are you?
Like, half of that hungry.
Nah I reckon you’re that hungry.
Okay, don’t ask.
This piece is a bit bigger so that will be mine.
Now, let’s sprinkle.
Do you want to sprinkle some of those on top?
- From a height, from a height. - No, not from a height.
No, you made that up.
That looks good.
You really are creative.
I’m eating right now. See ya.
This is a bit romantic.
I know, right? This looks pretty delicious.
Yeah, so good.
Oh, that’s good.
I’m pretty proud of myself. This is pretty good.
A light, fresh, healthy meal. Full of flavour.
Watch the dress.
You want some wine?
You know it’s not real? It’s fake wine.
What sort of f****** production is this?! Fake wine?
We can pretend cheers.
Nah. I’m not pretending s***.
Thanks for joining me on Skewered by Celeste Barber.
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve completely busted the myth that dinnertime needs to be a chore, yeah?
Yeah, busted it.
And I think if the Greek God of spray-on shirts can do it, then anyone can.
Would you do it again?
100 percent. I would do this every night.
Oh! I just I saw your face move!
No, you didn’t.
Damn it.