guggh. That was completely
involuntary. Oh good, I'm named
Milo this time that's a good name. [Mark] I'm Ted!
[Wade] How did you guys change your skin?
[Bob] I have no fuckin' idea. [Mark] I don't know! I don't know man!
*Confusion* [Wade] Wha-? Sure. Okay.
[Mark] So this is party mode.
I don't know what the- woah... [Bob & Wade] Sports Ball?!
[Mark] Yeah! [Wade] Knock the ball over the
opposition's line. [Mark] Yay!
[Bob] Oh God.
[Mark] O-oh this is not fair.
How is this fair? Noo!
*Wade laughs* [Mark] No! No ho ho ho!
*Mark girlish scream* [Wade] Ah, no! [Bob] Wade! [Mark] Yeaahh!
[Wade] I'm being pushed out of the way! Get it, Bob!
*Markimoo noises*
[Bob] Ahh, I got it, I got it, I got it! *Markimoo noises in background*
[Wade] No, no, no, nooo!
[Bob] Nonononooo, Wade go play defense, play defense, PLAY DEFENSE!
*Wade noises* [Mark] OWWW!
[Bob] I got in Mark's ass!
[Wade] *anguished scream*
[Bob] OOHHH, it bounced over me!
[Mark] Ohhhh nooooo! [Wade] *painful scream*
[Wade] Get out! Oh no, no, come on! [Mark laughs] [Bob] Oh, god, WADE!
*Mark laughter*
[Wade] No...
[Mark] IT'S GONNA BLOOOWWW! [Wade] Get it Bob- oh, get it Bob!
[Mark] I'M GONNA BLOOOWWW!
[Bob] Oh lord, oh God. [Mark] Is that actually gonna blow?
[Bob] I think it- it might. [Wade] It- it could.
[Bob] Go this way, this way, this way. Yes, yes, YES! [Mark] OooooOOOOOOHHHH!
[Wade] OHH! [Mark] Oh why...
*Ohhs* [Bob] Fuck my dog.
[Wade] No, oh, come on! [Mark] Fuck you guys.
[Wade] Oh God! [Bob] Wade, get out of my ass.
*Mark laughs* [Wade] I don't know how. NO! [Bob] Wade, what'd you do to me?!
[Wade] Nothing!
[Wade] It's not- AAHHH!
[Mark] YYAAAYYY! [Bob] God damn it!
*Markimoo mocking laughter* [Bob] Ha, ha, ha, ha.
[Mark] Celebratory butt sex.
[Bob] Huh? Ohh.
[Wade] Uhh, okay.
[Bob] Butt sex.
[Mark] WITH CACTI?!
[Bob] With caaahh... [Mark] Nooo!
[Bob] Ohh...
[Mark] *girlish scream* I'm very slow...
[All] WOAAHHH! [Bob, high pitched] OH GOD!
[Mark] *sad laughter*
[Bob] Ohh no!
[Mark, half crying] Ohh no!
[Mark] That wasn't a game!
[Bob] Why was that a game?!
[Mark] Was that a game?! [Wade] Did someone win that?!
[Mark] That was not a game!
[Mark] Hullo.
[Mark] *Waluigi noises*
[Bob, laughing] Well you wanna stay inside the ring, Mark.
[Wade] Woah, WOAHH! [Bob] Wade, Wade, Wade, chill, chill, CHILL, chill, chill, chill.
*Markimoo giggle*
[Bob] We just need to- we just need to fuck Mark outta here.
[Mark, quietly] No we don't, we don't need to do that.
[Mark] *anguished scream*
[Bob] Here buddy, c'mere buddy.
*Stupid Wade laughter*
[Bob] This is what we need to do, this is it. [Mark] Noooooo!
*Wade scream of frustration*
[Bob] There we go, Wade, work together...
[Mark] Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[Bob] Eeeeyyeahhhhh! [Mark] This is a bunch of bullshit.
[Wade] How'd you win? [Mark] Wh- why are you guys on a team and not me?
[Bob] We're on a team.
[Mark] *race car noises*
[Bob] God damn it...
[Wade] Uhh... [Mark] Nooope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nooo.
[Bob] Let me see that sweet ass of yours. [Wade] NOOOO!
[Mark] Ahhhhh. [Wade] Bring backkk!
[Bob] SPORTS BALL! [Mark] I don't know who won that.
[Wade] Uhh, this is the last round.
[Mark] God, why am I always on a team by myself?
[Wade] I don- it worked for you before!
[Wade] Bob, I got him! [Bob] This is like penis Rocket League...
[Mark] *sexy groans*
[Wade] BOB! [Bob] I'm tippin' it in! I'm tippin' it in!
[Mark] Oh, oh! [Bob] WADE!
[Wade] What? It started...
[Bob] As ever...
[Wade] Why are you on top of it? *Mark screams*
[Bob] *frustrated noises* As ever, Wade.
[Bob] Tou are a really garbage-y teammate.
[Wade] It's okay! Why does it bounce?! *annoyed noises from Bob and Mark*
[Mark] Buncha crap...
*happy noises from Bob and Wade, annoyed noises from Mark*
[Mark, high pitched] GET OUTTA ME!
[Bob] Ohhhhhh! "Get outta me!" [Mark] Get outta my butthole. *Bob and Wade mimicking Mark*
[Wade] AHHH! [Bob] Oh God...
[Bob] We use my balls? We'll use my balls as a hammer!
[Mark] Noo! [Bob] Oh yeah!
[Wade] Yeaahhh, there we go...
[Mark] Noooo!
[Bob] What? [Mark] Apparently noooo, apparently nooooo.
[Bob] Mark...
*Bob laughter*
[Mark] Ahhhhh man.
[Wade] We're on a team, what? [Bob] Yaaaayyyy.
[Mark] Yeah, you guys are on a team.
Always.
[Mark, upset] Well that was hardly fair, 'cause I was alone!
*more Bob laughter*
[Mark] Buncha crap... [Wade] Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
[Mark, annoyed] Some party mode, jeez...
*disgusted noises and cringing*
[Bob] Ohhh yay... we unlocked a thing...
*more disgust and cringing*
[Mark] Alright, so,
uhhh... that happened.
Now we're gonna unlock everything,
'cause that's an option,
something about dicks are just not appealing.
[Bob] It's the poppiness, uggghhhh.
[Wade] Look at the... ohh, the E!
[Mark] It's "Gann... ite... all."
[Wade] Ganitall, that's Gandalf's cousin.
[Mark] Uhhh continue party mode? [Bob] Sure...
[Mark] Well, we got everything unlocked...
[Mark] Oooh. [Wade] Ummm, well...
[Mark] You gotta like... shake? Or something?
[Mark] No. [Wade] Uhh, bumper was doing it for-
*Sounds of terror*
[Bob] Alright, Wade. Let's do this. *Mark complaining about being on a team by himself*
[Wade] Um. Well...
*just plain screaming*
[Bob] IT'S DICK SPLATOON!
[Bob] It's dick Splatoon!
[Mark] How do I do that?
[Bob] You just need to get inside of us.
*More screaming* [Bob] Oh god, oh no!
[Wade] Ohh!
[Mark] Oh geez, oh no!
*Wade makes pain noises* [Bob] It's dick Splatoon!
[Bob] Oh god! [Mark] Oh no, no, no!
*Bob grunts*
[Bob] Uhh.
[Mark] *worried sounds* It's okay- [Bob] Oh no, ho, ho... no, it's not okay. [Mark] No, this is not going to be okay.
[Wade] The puppies...
[All screaming] [Bob] Oh god...
[Mark] Noooo! [Bob] Ohh noo!
[Wade] Woah! [Mark] N-n-n-no, no!
[Bob] What are we scaring them onto our side? [Mark] But we've got to get the dogs, yeah,
[Mark] that's it, that's it. [Bob] C'mere puppers.
[Bob] Don't... I'm glad that we don't fuck the puppers. (me too, Bob)
[Bob] The puppers. [Wade] *grunts*
[Mark] That's important. Even though... like- [Wade] *grunts*
[Bob] No matter how horrifying
[Bob] this is, at least we're not fucking the puppies.
[Wade] Yeah! [Mark] No let me... let me.
[Wade] C'mon, come back! [Mark] Oh come on! I had
[Mark] the high score the whole time! [Bob] *laughs*
[Mark] Why am I by myself while you guys are... [Bob] *laughs*
[Mark] ...on a team?! [Wade] I don't know! [Bob] *laughs* [Mark] It doesn't make any
[Mark] god damn sense!
[Wade] Wait... oh okay. [Bob] I-I don't feel good about
[Bob] this. Basically no matter what happens Mark... [Wade] Nooo... ugh...
[Bob] ...soo... Wade, that
[Bob] is not helpful. [Wade] I-I didn't mean to...
[Mark] Dammit! [Bob] Would you go
[Bob] fucking hit the soccer ball Wade?! [Wade] I-I'm bouncy...
[Wade] *screams* [Mark] Yaaay! [Bob] I was off- oh God, jeez...
[All] *grunting noises*
[Mark] Nope, turd belongs on your side.
[Mark] Pinky and the stupid.
[Bob] Ah, ah, ah, ah, no!
[Bob] No Wade! I'll- I'll block him, I'll block him. [Wade] Okay.
[Bob] Go, go, go, go, go! [Mark] NOOOOO! [Wade] Take it, take it!
[Wade] *grunts* This thing sucks!
[Mark] Take it! Yeah! [Bob] Fucking him into the wall,
[Bob] get it, Wade! [Wade] Oh, umm, I'm tryin'.
[Bob] I had him pinned for like a solid six... [Mark] No, no, no, no, no!
[Bob] ...or seven seconds there. [Mark] No, no, no, no, na, na, na, na, na,
[Mark] na, na, na, na, let go, let go, let go!
[Bob and Wade] Ohhhhh! [Bob] No way! [Mark] Heeeeyyyy yup,
[Mark] a-doo-sky... noooo!
[Bob] Alright! Yes! [Mark] AHH! [Wade] *grunts*
[Mark] Whoa nelly... NOOOOOO!
[Mark] OOOOH! [Bob] Get 'im Wade, get 'im Wade! [Wade] YEAH!
*Mark and Bob laugh* [Wade] Ooohhhhhh!
[Mark] GOD!
[Wade] Why'd you watch me?! *Weird Bob laughs*
[Bob] We fucked in a circle!
*All laugh*
[Bob] Oh no, I'm stuck on the side.
[Mark] You know what, you know what is great about this game?
[Mark] There's no beatin' around the bush about it. [Wade] AHH NOOOO! [Bob] NOOO!
[Mark] Yt is exactly what it is and we can just comment on it.
This is dicks in butts!
We don't have to be
wishy-washy about our jokes! Oh, no...
[Wade] Ughhh.
[Mark] We just... we just go for it, man.
[Bob] Ugggh.
[Mark] Uhhhhhhh, I'm outta here, baby!
*groaning noises from all* [Wade] OOHH C'MON! [Mark] Oh yes...
[Mark] Woahhh!
AHAHH!
[Bob] Get off me! [Mark] No.
[Mark] Ahh get off ME! [Bob] HA, it's not fun, is it?!
[Mark] This is kinda fun.
*Various screams* [Bob] Oh, god...
*various noises*
[Mark] No, don't let...
ughh Wade,
just don't let Wade.
[Wade] How are you guys faster than me right now?! [Bob] Hey Wade, stop-
Wade! Stop, oh, no-
[Wade] OOHHH YEAHHH, YEAAHH, SEEYA! [Mark] You wanna hold me?!
[Mark] What was the point of that?!
[Bob] Why did I just die?
[Mark] You drowned, your dick drowned.
[Bob] Ohh, I exploded...
[Bob] Ohhhh... [Wade] Not again... [Mark] Oh no...
*noises of sadness from everyone*
[Mark] Ow, ow, OW, OW! [Wade] Ohhh, ohhh!
*Pained noises*
*Soft pain noises*
[Bob] *gasp* YES!
Yes, yes, YES! [Mark & Wade] No, no, no, nooo!
*ohhhhhs from everyone*
[Mark] I'm dead.
[Mark] WHY DIDN'T I GET A PLUS ONE SCORE? *Bob and Wade laugh at outraged Markimoo*
[Mark] I didn't- I didn't get a plus one score! [Bob] You didn't finish!
[Mark] I crossed the-
you know in the last run,
in the last round, the luge one, I
crossed it, I didn't get a plus one!
[Wade] I don't know.
[Bob] Like I possibly know. *disgusted ohhhhs*
[Bob] Oh yaaayy, we unlocked Lube Luge...
[Mark] We already know THAT.
[Bob] Oh hooray, Tanlines, yaaaaay...
[Wade] Ohh, we were JUST short of having Tanlines.
[Mark] Okay, let's do that again...
That was... that was actually fun.
No, bumpers not working.
*failing at using controllers*
[Mark] How would you touch the tip?
*Markimoo realizes what he got himself into*
[Bob] Ooooooohhhhhhhhh...
[Mark, softly] Can I be on one of your guys' teams?
YES!
[Bob] Oh SHIT, oh... [Mark] Fuck you!
[Mark] Yeah, fuck you, dude!
[Bob] I touched the syringes!
[Bob] I'm getting... I'm- [Mark] You are gray and dead, oh my god.
[Wade] Umm...
[Bob] Oh god! OHH GOD!
[Wade] So is that good?
[Mark] I don't know.
[Mark] AHHH! I'm gray!
[Mark] AAAHHHHH! [Wade] I'm not gray.
[Bob] I'm fucking you gray, buddy. [Mark] OOOHHH!
[Mark] I did it! Ohhh! [wade] NNNOOOOOOOO!
[Mark, high pitched] WHAT?!
I was in your butt!
[Bob] Who got plus one? [Wade] I don't know...
[Wade] Me? [Bob] I didn't understand that.
*Bob laughter* [Wade, upset] Why am I the slowest?
[Wade] Oh come on!
[Bob] Woooah.
Oh shit... you gotta wiggle...
Oh god, wiggle balls.
[Wade] Eeuuuggghh! [Mark] Oh god.
Nonononono!
[Bob] Ohh I found the path, I found the path of-
[Bob] Oh nonono, don't fuck me! [Mark] Ha! You didn't find shit!
[Bob] Why you fucking on me?
[Wade] Eugh, no. [Mark] Nooo!
[Mark] I died. [Wade] What?
[Wade] Is this a dead end?
[Mark] Uhh, guys, you gotta penetrate.
[Bob] Ooohhhhhhh.
[Bob] Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
[Wade] Come on, let me in Bob, LET ME IN BOB!
[Wade] Ohhh not again... [Bob] I don't like this one.
[Mark] I like this one.
[Bob] I DON'T like this one. [Mark, happy] I love Splatoon!
God damn it, again? You fuckers.
All you do...
is just... fuck me!
[Bob] Ughh. [Mark] You just fucking- there's no way I can win!
[Mark] There's literally... [Bob] There you go, friend.
[Mark] How can I win?
[Wade] Eughh. [Mark] How- how can I win?!
[Mark] I won! [Bob] It's impossible.
[Bob] What? [Mark] I got a plus one, it said!
[Wade] Oh. [Mark] Ooohhh.
[Wade] They're just gonna give you that one I guess...
[All] Ohh wow!
[Mark] Ohh come on, guys! *Wade & Bob laugh*
[Mark] Fuck you guys, fuck you!
Fuck you, FUCK you!
[Bob] Wait, what? Ouro... boros...
[Bob & Wade] Form a ring?
[Mark] Fine!
[Bob] Let's do this, Wade.
[Wade] Alright.
[Mark] Wait, why- why just Wade? Let me part of it!
[Bob & Wade] Nope, no... [Mark] Ohhh.
[Mark] HAHA! You're not gonna get SHIT!
[Wade] I got to- [Mark] No, you're gonna get SHIT.
[Bob] Wade, I'mma get him out of the corner for you.
[Mark] No- no, my butt is clearly pressed up against the walls.
[Bob] There we go.
[Bob] I'm gonna unravel him, I'm gonna unravel him. *Mark nopes in the background*
[Bob] There you go Wade, there you go,
now's your chance, now's your chance!
[Wade] I'm working my way around! [Mark] Fine, here. Have it.
[Wade] Thank you.
[Wade] We did it. [Bob] Good- good.
[Mark] Okay...
[Bob] Good then.
[Wade, unenthused] Yaaay, we all win.
[Mark] Again! I'm in last, because you fuckers are on a team!
*Bob and Wade laugh*
[Mark, annoyed] How is that fair? [Bob] I was- I was by myself for one of those rounds.
[Mark] No, we were- that was a free for all. That was literally...
[Bob] No, the Sports Ball...
[Wade] One of the Sports Ball ones was-
[Bob] One of the Sports Ball ones I was by myself. [Wade] Maybe?
[Mark] No!
[Bob] Uh huh! [Mark] You were not!
[Wade] Well...
I wonder who's gonna be on a team?
[Mark] You guys. *sigh*
[Bob] Eeeyeah. [Mark] Yep.
[Mark] You guys, huh?
[Mark] Nooo!
[Bob] Hahaha! [Mark] Noooo!
*Bob & Wade obnoxious laughter*
[Mark] Noooo!
[Mark] *girlish scream*
Fuckin' hate it!
Fuckin' hate you.
[Mark] Yeah, that's right, fuck off. [Bob] No, no.
*Frustration and various nopes*
[Bob] Wiggle. [Mark] Noooo!
I didn't wanna be in you right now!
[Bob] Ahh, Wade! [Mark] Ahhh, fuck off.
[Bob] Oh God, ohh no.
*Markimoo growling noises*
[Mark] YES! [Bob] God damn it.
[Mark] Fuuckk you!
[Wade] NOOOO-!
[Mark] Yep, fuck you!
No, nuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!
[Wade] Get him, Bob!
[Mark] Nuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!
[Bob] I gotchu, I gotchu! *nuhs continue*
[Wade] Yeahhh! [Mark] Fuck offf!
[Wade] What is this? [Bob] What is that? [Both] It's a turkey?!
[Mark] Why is there no, like, turbo button?
[Bob] Turbo dick.
[Mark] Turbo dick?
[Bob] Viag- viagra button.
[Mark] I didn't want to be in you! Why did it... rocket into your butthole?
[Wade] Noooo!
[Wade] Oh... *Mark frustration*
[Mark] FUCK GET OFF!
[Bob] Oh shit... oh no!
NNOOO!
[Wade] I was trying to knock the little turkey in...
Noo!
[Bob] Oh fuck, get outta me!
Oh, I kicked it! I kicked it! Yaaaaaayyyy!
[Mark] God damn it.
You- you realize how unfair that is, right?
[Bob] It's totally fair.
[Markimoo screams]
[Wade] Ohh noo.
[Bob] Alright, I don't understand this game at all. [Wade] Don't touch the syringes.
[Bob] So just don't move?
[Wade] Mmm, I guess... what happens if we don't?
[Wade] Ohh... oh, they co-!
OOHHHHHH!
[Bob] OOOHHH GOD!
Hey, buddies...
[Bob] Who wants some- some- who wants some nasty syringe sex? [Wade] No... no... no...
noo.
[Mark] AAHH!
[Bob] OHH DEAR.
[Mark] Okay...
We did it apparently.
[Bob] Well, now I'm covered in shit...
[Mark] Aarrrgghhh, no good...
[Bob & Wade] Wrassling...
[Mark] Alright...
[Bob] Wonder who's gonna be on a team?
*Bob & Wade chuckle* [Mark] This is the stupidest shit...
[Wade] I don't know how to fix it. [Mark] The stupidest shit!
[Bob] C'mere buddy. [Mark] I-it's the stupidest shit. [Bob] C'mere buddy.
[Mark] Why- also, why is no one number one?
[Wade] I don't know, that's a good question... [Mark] We're two, three, and four.
[Wade] That's a good ques- oh.
[Bob] Let's do this, Wade.
[Wade] Oh, um... [Bob] Let's get him, let's ring him out!
[Wade] Oh, okay, uh, OH!
*laughing* Did I just ring myself out?
[Mark] Did- did you not get rung out?
[Wade] I dont know- [Bob] Oh! God, jeez.
[Bob] Oh lord! [Wade] Oohhhh!
[Bob] Hey friend, there's a bomb over there for ya. [Mark] NOOOOO!
[Wade] Woooo! Aah, get out of me! [Mark] NOOOOOhoho!
Held on by grabbin' on.
[Wade] Ohhh nooo.
[Bob] Oh dear.
*all scream*
[Bob] No, no, oh god!
[Bob] Wade, what are you doing to me?
[Wade] Nothing- oh, I just... rung myself out...
[Mark] Alright, just you and me Bob, huh?
[Wade] Well I guess it's only fair now.
This is even worse when you're just watching.
[Bob] C'mere buddy.
[Mark] YEAAAAH, OHHHH!
[Bob] I tried to grab you by the ass and pull you out with me. It didn't work.
*Markimoo giggles*
[Mark] Alright, you guys don't leave me out of the party...
[Bob] Wade, do you wanna leave Mark out of the party? [Wade] Yeah, let's do it.
[Mark, slightly softer] Don't leave- don't leave me out of the party.
NOOO!
Aw, no, I was there! I was in the party!
[Mark] I was partying! [Wade] Oh no!
[Bob] Wade, you're supposed to go the other way, you dumb!
[Wade] I... tried... [Mark] Alright, this time, you guys are going down!
[Bob] Probably.
[Mark] This reminds me of... uh... [Wade] EYY, GET OUTTA ME, MARK! [Bob] See you, losers.
Noooooo!
[Mark] It reminds me of- [Bob] See you, nerds.
[Mark] The, uhh- the, uhh- the Mario- the Mario level.
You stay back here, buddy.
[Bob] Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it!
Are you trying to kill us both?
[Mark] Take me with you.
[Bob] Nope, don't do it! [Mark] Take me with you.
[Bob] Don't do it! [Mark] Take me with you! [Bob] Don't do it!
*Mark groans* [Bob] Don't do it!
[Mark] See? Why- de- the other one you get a poi-
[Bob] Different arbitrary rules, Mark. *Wade giggles*
[Mark] *groans* Aw, come on.
*Bob has a party* [Wade] Oh, I got last that time. [Mark] At least I got second. Finally!
[Bob] I'm the dicklyist dick!
Aw, that music though.
[Mark] Alright, um.
[Wade] Oh, no.
[Wade, nervously] Double delight...
[Mark] Okay, so anyways, that was, uh...
That was, uh, Genital Jousting.
I think we're done with this one, forever.
Unless they come out with awesome new party modes, so-!
[Bob] Dick-LC? [Mark] Yeah.
[Bob] ...Because DLC?
[Mark] No, I got it.
...Anyway, I feel like a lesser person for that.
[Bob & Wade] I just feel sick... [Bob] I don't feel good.
[Mark] Alright so either way...
*Very loud outro music begins* [Mark] *inaudible* If you like this video! Yeah! How 'bout that!
*inaudible* So thank you everybody so much for watching...
*drowned out by music*
[Mark] BUH-BYE!!
*very loud outro music*