The INFJ personality type is among the rarest in the MBTI. INFJs are known as ‘extroverted
introverts’ and they can often be walking talking contradictions. Their rarity can also make them
appear elusive, but they’re a lot more tangible and grounded than most people make them out to be.
INFJ’s in the media and online are often very misconstrued. They are labeled as too
emotional or lacking in logic when the truth is they are equal parts thinkers and feelers.
There’s a lot more to INFJs than what is portrayed by those that don’t know them.
So, let’s debunk 7 RIDICULOUS LIES told about the INFJ personality type.
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“INFJs are Boring and Unfriendly” INFJs are often seen by others as
very reserved and distant people who prefer to be recluses out in the world. People who first meet
them often think they are too self-absorbed and intense to enjoy any kind of fun.
Whilst it’s true, INFJs like their alone time to immerse themselves in their inner world,
they are also very much capable of living in the moment. They just prefer to balance
their life by getting involved in what they’re interested and passionate about,
and that generally tends to differ from what most people enjoy.
INFJs are very principled. They prefer not to fake interest, and so they’re selective about what and
whom they give their energy to. However, once they develop a level of comfort and commonality
with someone, they can be very animated indeed, able to talk and engage on a deeply genuine level.
“INFJ’s don’t like to be physically touched”
Many people tend to believe INFJs are not the sort to enjoy physical affection. Perhaps they have
felt the slight recoil of an INFJ during a hug and have assumed they’re just not the hugging type.
Whilst it is the case some INFJs do not like affection, this is not generally the norm for
this personality type. This means their issue is often with the person trying to get too close.
INFJs can feel great discomfort when someone they don’t quite trust,
tries to get into their personal space. This is usually because they feel like
it’s something that they are being pushed to do, rather than something
that is happening naturally. Opening up to someone can take a while for most INFJs,
and being comfortable with physical affection tends to require some time as well.
“They are weak decision-makers”
INFJ are extroverted sensors, very empathetic to others' needs. However,
this naturally sensitive and considerate nature often makes people assume they’re ‘too
emotional’ to be capable of logical thought. This perception comes from the misnomer in our
culture that emotions are counterintuitive to good decision-making. We’re often taught good
decisions can only be made based on empirical facts and should be entirely void of feelings.
INFJs, as with most things in our society, do not ascribe to this notion. They are big picture
thinkers who tend to care and always factor in the impact of their decisions on others.
Leading with empathy doesn’t make INFJs weak. In fact,
in a fairer world, this would be considered the best type of leadership.
Additionally, INFJs have Introverted Thinking (TI) as their tertiary function.
They can be exceptionally consistent and logical in their thought processes.
They have the ability to form an internal framework for how things work and then figure
out ways to improve, modify, and perfect ideas. However, they tend to process their decisions
quietly and rarely let anyone into their internal dialogue, unless of course,
that person has gained their trust.
“They consider themselves to be special”
People with the INFJ personality type form less than 3% of the world's population.
INFJ’s, because of their rarity, are therefore objectively special.
However, people generally equate rarity to exclusivity. Something beyond their reach,
so perhaps it is incomprehension that causes some people to dismiss an INFJs true experiences.
INFJs tend to play the game of life by different rules. Some people can find that annoying as
it’s a reminder of their lack of bravery in not doing the same. Others may find it inspiring,
but everyone either consciously or unconsciously will notice it.
INFJs themselves realize they are rare but very few consider themselves to be special.
Most INFJs tend to feel more lonely and isolated than special.
When one feels and sees the world so differently than others, and that difference is not understood
or seen as having value by those around them, the last thing anyone would feel is special.
“INFJs are pacifists”
INFJ’s are often noted as counseling
philosopher types who always seek harmony in their external environments. As a result, most
people tend to view INFJs as complete pacifists when it comes to conflict, and this is probably
the most ridiculous stereotype of them all. INFJ’s have Extroverted Feeling as a secondary
cognitive function, and whilst it’s true they do value harmony, it will never be above all else.
INFJs live by a strong moral code, it is what anchors them. They can therefore definitely
be controversial figures who have no problem upsetting people or overturning the status quo
if it stands in the way of their personal idea of truth and the future they envision.
When INFJs believe in something, they are will care if they are the lone voice.
One such controversial and notable INFJ who embodies this is Jordan Peterson. However you may
view him personally, he is someone who displays a pattern of unyielding stubbornness in his position
amid all opposition, and this is probably a big part of why legions of fans follow his every word.
“They are calm and collected”
On the outside, people assume INFJs
can take pressure as they are not often vocal about the stresses of their work,
studies, and general life. Part of this reason is their fear of being vulnerable,
another likely trauma response from being habitually misunderstood in the world.
In order to protect themselves, many learn to form an impenetrable shield.
A type of Yoda calm exterior to stress and pain, even if they’re in some sort of crisis
on the inside. They like to keep their emotions well kept and guarded, and deeply personal.
This can lead people to assume they are not as deeply sensitive as they are. They will
be careless in what they say and do around an INFJ because they think ‘obviously if it
bothered them, they would have said something”. INFJs tend to be long-suffering people and more
people should be aware of that before thinking they can take advantage. Every INFJ has a point
at which they can tolerate, and it will not be wise to try and find out how far that is.
“They can “see” the future”
This often comes up online for INFJs
and it’s mostly hyperbole. INFJs are not sentient supernatural beings. They
just tend to be right about things quite a lot. With introverted intuition as their most dominant
cognitive function, they have the ability to patterns in their environment and are able to put
the pieces together to draw accurate conclusions. This can often appear so remarkable to people
that they see it as a psychic ability. It is not. INFJs just have great foresight.
The INFJ personality type is among the rarest in the world and as a result, they are highly
misunderstood, so it is this misunderstanding that often creates wild misconceptions about them
that tend to be wholly inaccurate. Stereotypes in general are never a good thing,
and almost always leave people feeling alienated. For an INFJ to constantly see
falsehoods about themselves can be damaging as it limits how they view themselves.
INFJs are capable of so much more than being misnomers. They will always be far too nuanced
and complex to be put into any kind of box.
Hopefully, this video has helped to show that.