( music playing )
We're not pizza purists.
We believe that you can put anything on a pizza
and a pizza on anything.
That's why we're about to turn Link into a human pizza.
It's time for...
Link, as always, I like to start by asking,
do I have your consent to turn you into a human pizza?
Of course, Rhett. Thank you for asking.
Do I have your consent to disrobe you?
- No, let me do that myself. - Good! I'm glad.
Link, if you would lie down,
because you are going to be the dough.
This is a big, freaking pizza box, by the way!
You're a big man!
You're gonna be the dough boy.
Are you saying I'm doughy?
I mean, I'd say pretty good for a 39-year-old man.
- Thank you! - Okay, because you're the dough,
we're gonna glutenize you a little bit
by just flouring you up.
And I'd like to get the help of delivery guy Chase.
You know how it works around here.
The delivery guy helps make the pizza.
- It's a small operation. - Okay.
( music playing )
I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna just--
- Just gonna rub it in a little bit. - Okay.
It's-- It's a little rough.
Okay.
Now you're nice and floured up.
Now I gotta use my homemade sauce.
Okay, here we go.
Oh! It's cold!
- Yeah. - Dang!
You gotta heat up the sauce first, guys!
- Okay, just-- - Oh!
- I like a thick sauce. - Oh!
Okay.
Saucy! Oh!
Good gosh!
All right, Link, I'm ready to put this all over your face.
- Oh, gosh! - Are you ready to receive it?
I guess, yeah.
This is my favorite flavor of pizza, by the way.
- Pepperoni and mushrooms? - Pepperoni and mushroom.
I cannot see or hear,
- but I can certainly taste-- - Oh!
I just put a piece of pepperoni in your mouth!
- Try again. - Oh, two!
Oh, got some mushrooms
- Keep trying. - I don't like mushrooms!
I'm gonna make you pepperoni eyes.
Gonna give you a third eye.
Third eye of insight.
Now I would like to ask the other members
of the Death Cab For Pizza racing team
to come in and help me melt the cheese.
So we could have a uniform pizza.
Put it on high.
Whoo!
Chase: It-- Yeah, smells delicious.
Oh, yeah.
Is it gonna melt?
That feels good!
I feel like I'm blowing toppings off
more than I'm melting.
Why you flaming my ear?
Okay, I think that's about as good as we're gonna get, guys.
- Am I done? - He's still shivering.
Oh, no!
We have the final toppings.
Some grated Parmesan.
Some crushed red pepper.
Yeah, don't breathe in.
You just want me to breathe out?
Only breathe out.
( grunts )
I still don't know what's happening.
I can't hear or see.
That was Parmesan and crushed red pepper!
Okay!
And now you're going to a frat house!
O-Kay.
Oh, but first, just so we don't ruin the pizza
when we close the box.
Please give me the pizza protector.
- The what? - The pizza protector.
You know.
Oh, okay.
- Need a little stool? - Now, come on in here, guys.
Let's close him up and send him on his way.
Let's lower it down.
What? Okay.
What? Hey, guys.
What's that?
It's dark in here.
Good Mythical pizza!
- Wow! - Hot and fresh!
You okay?
- No! - Good!
All right, click on through as we try to see
if everyday objects can be musical instruments.
Link:
We have a new T-shirt line available at mythical.store.