Narcissists tend to feel insecure, and because of that, they’re not always easy to live with.
In this video, we will cover 10 ways to deal with a narcissistic husband.
Make sure to watch until number 1, because it’s an eye opener!
Number 10: Recognize their triggers.
Narcissists tend to feel incredibly insecure, which gives them triggers.
As you spend time with your narcissistic husband, you start to recognize what triggers him. It can be helpful to learn those things so you don’t trigger them.
Often, this will make your relationship more harmonious.
When he is triggered, he may act out in anger or show other negative behaviors. When you recognize those triggers, you can either avoid them or be prepared for what may be coming next.
Narcissists tend to be very insecure and have low self-esteem, but it’s something they hide.
So, when someone points out that they're wrong, or makes it look like they don't know what they're talking about, it bothers them. That can be a trigger for them.
They tend to react by belittling the people around them, because when people around them are smaller in their eyes, it makes them feel better about themselves.
Number 9: Establish clear boundaries.
It's a healthy thing to have boundaries in a relationship, but it's especially important with a narcissist.
Narcissists tend to like to take control of everything, especially when it comes to relationships.
So, it's important to let your narcissistic husband know when he's crossed your boundaries.
Let him know that you won't tolerate it if he bullies you by calling you names. In fact, you will walk away and the conversation will be over.
Let him know that you will not tolerate it if he tries to make it so that you can't be alone with your friends.
It might make him feel insecure and jealous, but not having friends and being in an isolated state could lead to emotional abuse.
It's important for you to have your own friends.
Another one is that you won't make excuses for him if he doesn't show up at family functions or other get-togethers with your friends or at your children's events.
If he decides not to go, that's up to him, but you're not going to make up a story or lie for him. Instead, insist that he explains why he was not there.
He might try to make you feel guilty or make you feel like you did something wrong.
But you have to stick to your boundaries. If you don't stick to them, then he won't respect them.
Sometimes when you're in the middle of an argument, it's just easier to walk away. It's easier to ignore something than to face it head on.
That's not the best course of action all the time when it comes to dealing with a narcissist.
Narcissists enjoy making other people uncomfortable. If that's the case, try not to show you're uncomfortable or that you're flustered. That won't help.
Try to be calm and gentle in your mannerisms. At the same time, tell him how his words and actions affect you. Be specific about how you expect to be treated. Also be prepared for the reality that he may not change his behavior.
Number 8: Building your own support system.
It's important for you to have your own support system around you.
It's important for you to have your own friends, and it's not acceptable for him to try to separate you from those friends.
Although it is common for a narcissist to try to isolate their spouse from family and friends, you have to be insistent about maintaining those relationships.
He very likely will want all of your attention, and it's also likely that he'll get jealous if you spend time with other people.
In fact, he might criticize your friends and family constantly because he doesn't want you to spend time with them.
Narcissists can be controlling. If you don't have a support system, it will be easier for him to control you.
It will be harder for you to know that you're being controlled because you won't have people in your life to point it out.
You need to have people you can turn to when you need support. So, it's important to maintain those relationships.
Number 7: Stop making him the center of attention.
Narcissists love to be the center of attention. It doesn't matter if it's negative or positive attention.
It's just important to them that they stay in the spotlight. Don’t neglect your own needs to make him happy. Break the spell.
You will keep on adjusting and adjusting to meet his needs, but it's never going to be good enough for him.
He will try to infiltrate your sense of self and he will try to define your world for you. Don't let him do that.
Your needs matter too. It’s important to have your own time. Everything can’t be about him.
You have to take care of yourself. You also have to remember that it's not up to you to fix him.
Number 6: Remember that it's not your fault.
It's easy to start losing your mind when your narcissistic spouse tells you constantly that everything is your fault.
Narcissists don't like to admit when they've made a mistake. They don't like to take responsibility for things that they've done wrong.
When you feel hurt, they don't tend to think that it's because of them. Instead, they will blame you for any negativity in the relationship, or they'll blame it on someone or something else.
Often, what they will do is blame all of their problems on you. It's important for you to remember that it isn't your fault.
Many people simply accept the blame because they want to keep the peace. When you do that, you destroy your own sense of self.
You know the truth. You know it really happened. It's important to stand up for yourself by not taking blame for everything that has gone wrong in your relationship.
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Number 5: Recognize when you need help.
You may get to a point where you realize that you need help.
It could just be from your support system.
You can also seek the help of a professional because, when you deal with a narcissist regularly, it can take a toll on your mental health.
It can even take a toll on your physical health. Both can be connected.
That can cause anxiety, and it can cause depression.
At that point, it would be good to see a doctor who can give you a referral to see a psychologist if that is what you need to do.
It is important to stay close to friends and family. If you believe they are loving, compassionate, and loyal, you could approach them for help.
Number 4: Remind yourself frequently that you are still uniquely smart and lovable.
Narcissists tend to make their partners feel like they're crazy.
So, it's important for you to protect yourself by working on your own self-esteem.
It's good to make statements about yourself that are hopeful and to treat yourself with kindness.
Encourage yourself, and tell yourself that, even though things are difficult, you can handle them.
It's important for you to forgive yourself because everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes don't necessarily reflect on who you are as a person.
You are not a bad person simply because you made a mistake.
It's important for you to avoid saying "should" or "must. " It's good to remove these words from your thoughts because they can lead you to have unrealistic expectations.
It's also important to focus on the positive things that you do well and the things that are good about your life.
This will lead to better self-esteem and self-esteem is absolutely essential when you're trying to build yourself up. Don’t let yourself be a vulnerable target.
Number 3: Understand that narcissists do not apologize.
Narcissists don't like to apologize, and it's very unlikely that they will.
Even when they know they were wrong, they rarely apologize.
Don't expect your narcissistic husband to apologize to you because it's unrealistic.
They do, however, apologize in a different way. They will often make up for what they did by showing you a gesture.
This is their equivalent of an apology. He might take you to dinner or buy you a gift.
If you want to have a positive relationship, learn to identify when he is trying to apologize.
Number 2: Don't be surprised if your narcissistic husband creates humiliating public scenes.
Narcissists tend to create public scenes. It could be embarrassing for you if you end up having to leave a restaurant because he feels like the service is slow, gets offended, and walks out, even though you may be fine with staying. You may not want to leave because it could make a scene.
He may also yell at you on the street and walk away.
He may say something hurtful to you in front of all your friends and family.
You need to decide if you can live with that.
You need to figure out if it’s simply a narcissistic trait or if it’s narcissistic abuse. If you're not surprised by it, then you won’t be so shocked.
Number 1: Understand that your narcissistic husband will probably not change.
If you believe there is a chance that your narcissistic spouse may change, you should reconsider; the likelihood is that he will not.
And if you continue in the relationship only in the hope that he will change, you may be setting yourself up for a lot of suffering.
In general, narcissists have poor self-esteem and have a difficult time accepting responsibility for whatever they've done wrong or acknowledging when they're wrong.
It is difficult for them to express regret, and they seldom do.
It's not easy for them to acknowledge their conduct in order to change.
Therefore, one thing you may have to accept is that if you really want things to be better in the relationship, you may have to change since he is unlikely to do so.
You must determine whether this is something you are prepared to do.
You have no control over his actions, but you do have power over your own, and, while it's unjust that you're in that scenario, the fact is you will very certainly be obliged to make the majority of the necessary adjustments.
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