Hey psy2goers
Do you ever catch yourself doing something like having a mini panic attack when you're asked to speak in front of others?
Or maybe needing to be the center of attention all the time then wonder why do I do that?
Part of the answer lies in how you bonded with your parents during your childhood?
The way you were raised
where you were raised and your relationship with your family shapes a large part of who you'll become as an adult if
You've been watching site to go for a while. You know that your childhood affects you in some weird and unexpected ways
We put some links to those videos in the description box below
One of the ways your childhood molds you into the person you are is the development of your attachment style
This video talks about the four attachment styles as well as how you can spot them at work or school in
Relationships and in a crisis you might be wondering what is an attachment style. And why should I care?
Thanks to the research of Harry Harlow and John Bowlby the mental health community uses the phrase
Attachment style to describe the ways we interact with and attach to others throughout our lives as you might have guessed
You start developing your attachment style as an infant
It's first formed by the way you bond with your caregivers then continues to be shaped throughout your childhood
Understanding your attachment style is a big deal because it can tell you a lot about
How you relate to your friends and family how you work with groups of people and how your handle problems or obstacles in your life?
Of course, there are other things such as your temperament culture and self-talk that influence the way you deal with people
But for now, let's learn more about attachment style in 1970 psychologist, Mary Ainsworth
Wanted to know more about how children with different temperaments attached to their parents and what this says about how they relate to the rest
of the world
Would they get separation anxiety when they were away from their mother or would they settle into their environment just fine?
Her research has shown us people form attachments in one of four ways
one secure type B
People with dissidents tiler confident their needs will be met they're the most likely to assert themselves and ask for help
two
insecure avoidant type-a
People with this attachment style tend to appear more withdrawn and independent
They don't usually believe others will meet their needs and rarely ask for help
three
insecure ambivalent resistant type C
People would this attachment style can be difficult to read because they alternate between being super clingy and rejecting others
They're often insecure and seem to have trouble exploring new situations
or disorganized
People with this attachment style view all interactions with others as if they're a chance to solve old traumatic situations from their past
They tend to suffer from depression anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD
Those are the disorganized attachment style are more likely than the other three styles to use negative things like drugs
alcohol or starting drama to disconnect from painful feelings if
Everyone has an attachment style then you can probably name at least one person in your life with each style
let's take a look at how the four styles relate to others at work school and relationships and in a crisis if
These examples remind you of anyone tell us about it in the comments
One secure attachment style type be at work or school
People with a secure attachment style are typically focused and good communicators
They're the least likely to get involved in gossip or trauma
But the most likely to ask questions at meetings or sit in the front of the class in
Relationships people with a secure attachment style are the most likely to make the first move and the least likely to play head games
They tend to have healthy boundaries and are usually respectful of others boundaries in a crisis
Although those are the secure attachment style. Don't enjoy drama or crisis
They're able to manage their emotions and see the big picture when problems happen
They keep their cool enough to tolerate differences of opinion and help smooth over hurt feelings
too insecure avoidant type a
At workers school the person with an insecure avoidant attachment style probably has difficulty making
Friends and is probably seen as a loner at school or work?
They tend to be more focused on the work itself rather than the social part of group projects
in relationships your friend or significant other with an insecure avoidant attachment style may have problems talking about or even
Identifying how they're feeling
They tend to be happier talking about more intellectual topics
The person with an insecure avoidant attachment style is also more likely to be that friend. Who tells you
Nothing's wrong then explodes with anger in
A crisis the person with an insecure avoidant attachment style goes out of their way to avoid super emotional situations
Which actually makes them great in a crisis?
They're able to use their more objective nature to take charge and do what's needed in order to solve a problem
three insecure ambivalent resistant type-c
At work or school. These are the classmates and co-workers who always seem preoccupied or anxious
People with the type-c attachment style tend to be more sensitive about their work and need more reassurance than other attachment styles in
Relationships those with a Type C attachment style are often labeled as way too sensitive because they react strongly to anything
That seems like they're being rejected by you
This may cause a person with a type to see attachment style to be clingy or attempt to reject you before you reject them
They also tend to blame others for their relationship issues in
A crisis people with the type C attachment style seem to feed on drama and will often stir the pot during a crisis
Because of their anxiety and habit of personalizing other's behavior
those with an insecure ambivalent resistant attachment style need a lot of reassurance and advice when they're having issues M for
disorganized
At work or school whether they do it by pulling fire alarms and getting a co-worker fired or proudly breaking the rules
People with a disorganized attachment style love to test boundaries
Classmates and co-workers might see the person with a disorganized attachment style as charismatic
but they're the most likely to engage in Mean Girl type behaviors in
Relationships it can be downright challenging to have a close one with someone who has a disorganized attachment style because they can be aggressive
abusive and manipulative
loved ones of people with a disorganized attachment style often feel like they're replacing those that
Hurt this person in the past in this person's current drama in a crisis because they often feel as though they're reliving past
Negativity or abuse people the disorganized attachment style often feel triggered by crisis
These feelings of being triggered can lead to explosive anger substance abuse and the need to punish others
Did you see yourself or anyone you know in any of those examples?
More importantly. How did you feel about what you heard if you recognize something you didn't like in yourself?
The good news is attachment styles aren't set in stone
You can unlearn your bad habits and self talk by working with the right therapist and putting in the work
Would you like a video on how to manage your attachment style? How about a self-test to learn more?
Leave a comment below and tell us your story as always any information provided here is for entertainment and educational purposes only
If you need mental health counseling or treatment, please contact your insurance company
local colleges student counseling clinic or your County crisis line
Keep watching the site to go channel for more information on mental illness and mental health. Help is out there