Are you so ready to say Narc Be Gone. Narcissist, get out
of my life, get your energy out of my life, get your yucky energy away from me.
Well, then this is the video for you. I'm going to give you tips on exactly how to do just that.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung. I have been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I've written a couple of bestselling books Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R. and Breaking Free:
A Step-By-Step Divorce Guide. And I have dedicated my life, I'm on a personal crusade
to give you the negotiation skills that I have mastered in over 20 years of being an attorney
and couple them with what I have learned and taught myself about narcissists and how they
think and how they act, and especially how they think and act in a negotiation.
And I've put them together into a unbelievable method to show you step-by-step how to
free yourself from these relationships with narcissists. Business, personal doesn't matter,
that's what I teach you. And if that sounds good to you, make sure you hit subscribe
and hit the notification bell and that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos.
So I've been there. You're dealing with a toxic personality, maybe one, maybe more. There's what
they say is one in 10, people are narcissists. Who knows, I mean, it could be more than that, but
that's what they say. And so the bottom line is there's not one single one of us who is immune.
Every single person, every one of you listening to me today, all of us have had to deal with this
toxic personality type and it is never any fun. They don't make it any fun. They're not enjoyable
to be around. And one of the ways that you can definitely know that you're in a relationship
with one of these people is when you're with them, you don't feel good. When you're with people
who have great energy, who just shine from the inside out, they make everybody
around them feel better when they're around them. One of the books that I read a long time ago and I
highly recommend it is called the Four Agreements. And I love that book because it's four agreements
that you make with yourself. I'll put a link to it below if you want to grab a copy of it for
yourself. But basically one of the agreements is never to take anything personally. And the
reason why you don't take anything personally is because the way people treat other people
is always a direct reflection of the way they feel about themselves, good or bad. So if somebody is
treating you well, it's probably because they feel good about themselves inside. And I'm not
talking about the love bombing, by the way. That's not real treating you well, I'm talking about
actually treating you well. People, where you actually feel good after you've been around them.
And you know, you can tell like the little hairs on the back of your head are going up
or the gut feeling inside your stomach that pit in your stomach. You can tell that if you are in
relationship with a person who's just not making you feel good, who's kind of making you sick,
who at night you're worrying about it, or during the day you're worrying about it,
and you walking the dog, you're worrying about it thinking about it. And you're ruminating on this.
I know I'm a ruminator. And so, for me, that's what I end up doing. So what can you do to get
rid of this toxicity in your life? Well, the first thing that you can do is start pivoting
your thoughts. Start going, "Okay. I feel this thought coming in and I'm thinking about it
and now I see that it's there. So let me clear that and let me think about something else."
And I recently just heard about an exercise that, I think it was Oprah, had said she had gone to
India or something. And she had been talking to or met with this guru over there and he did this
meditation exercise with her. And what he had her do was visualize things and then put them out of
your minds. So it was like that, something like this. Close your eyes, now think about the moon.
Take a picture of the moon, put it in your mind, hold it there for a few seconds. Now let it go.
Now think about a oak tree. It's a big, huge oak tree. It's in the middle of a forest.
Okay, do you have that picture in your mind? Now, let it go.
Now think about a red triangle, think about that in your mind. All right? Picture it there,
hold it there. Now let it go. Every single thought is the same. The only difference is that you
create habits of thinking. So you're not in the habit of thinking of red triangles all day long,
but if you're thinking of them over and over again, you would start to build that habit.
Because what you're doing is you're creating neuronal patterns in your brain. Your brain
wants to be efficient. Your brain is like, "Oh, okay. We're thinking about that all the time.
So let me create a pattern of neurons." That as soon as they get this to think about,
this is what we think about. So what happens is you get the stimulus and
your brain's processing, "Where are we going? Where are we going? Oh, that's what we're
thinking about. Okay, there is where we're going." So, you've developed these neuronal patterns over
the years that have caused you to sometimes go into this mode of negative thinking. So sometimes
it could be that somebody looked at you funny, they said something wrong, they did something
to you, and then off you go into your neuronal patterns of negative thinking. And it really
is something that you just have to learn how to destroy the old neuronal patterns and replace them
by creating new ones. And so what happens is when you get that stimulus and you start to think about
that negative person and what's going on with that negative person, what's going on, what they say,
what are they doing? Are they targeting flying monkeys, a smear campaign? Blah, blah, blah.
Then you have to go, "Okay, I see what's going on here. I'm not going to be thinking about this
person right now. They're not in front of me right now. I'm going to think about something else."
So that you can start to pivot your brain and create new neuronal patterns because your brain
cannot be in two places at once. You cannot be thinking about the negatives and be inviting in
the positive at the same time. And your thoughts are little beams of energy. They are energy and
whatever energy you put out there, you're going to get back because like attracts like, it's a basic
law of physics. And so if you're out there thinking about things that you don't want, you're
going to get more of that. So you need to start thinking about things that you do want. And the
way I have done it is when my brain is on downtime and that's where I'm going to go off into like the
forest of the black roses, the black place. Then I bring myself back out of there
by putting on something that will refocus my thoughts into something else,
whether it's an audio book or whatever it is. I start thinking about something else and also
having something else to pivot your attention to. Some project that's really interesting to you or
something that's fun or something that brings you up. Talking to someone that makes you feel good,
anything like that. So pivoting yourself is one of the best ways to get rid of that negative energy
of that narcissist. The second way that you can do it is start to say, thank you. Gratitude shifts
your energy immediately because you cannot be in receiving mode and feeling grateful
at the same time that you're feeling terrible. And so when you start to spiral into that feeling of
why is this happening to me? Why am I being targeted? Why are they
doing what they're doing? You're going to get more of that. So you stop yourself. You say, thank you.
Thank you that I have breath. Thank you that I have the opportunity to get out of this
relationship. Thank you that I have a community of people to support me. If you don't have your
own community, join me in my free private Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung,
huge community there. So there's always, always, always something to be grateful for. So that's the
second thing you can do is just say, thank you. Just stop whatever you're doing and just say,
thank you. And if you are so ready to have that narc out of your life, I want to see a Narc Be
Gone in the comments right now. And if you want to know more about self-care to cope with narcissist,
I highly recommend that you check out my video on Self-Care to Cope with Narcissist.
If you are getting ready to negotiate with the narcissist, grab my free Crush My Negotiation
Prep Worksheet at winmynegotiation.com. You do not have to stay in this relationship. Start taking
the steps that you need to, to get out of it. Grab that worksheet winmynegotiation.com. And as
I mentioned, I do have that free private Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
If you liked this video, give it a like, give it a share, drop me a comment. Let me know that you
were here and make sure you subscribe and hit that notification bell and that way you'll get notified
when I upload brand new content. So thank you so much for joining me today. I wish you peace,
love, light. Get that negative energy out of your life. Let's start it today. Today's a
great day to start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.