(audience applauding)
- My apartment.
- Ooh, cozy!
- Yes.
- Oh, Mr. Vidal, do you think I could have
a personally autographed picture
just to prove it to myself tomorrow that I was really here?
- Oh, yes, that's the least I can do!
With mustache, or without?
- Eh, without.
- Yes, for?
- Charity. - For Charity.
- Um, who is with me in my apartment tonight,
alone, I swear it.
Vittorio Vidal. - Yes, I know the rest.
Ecco la.
- Oh, gee, thanks!
Oh, it may not be enough.
- For what?
- Eh, to prove to my girlfriends I was really here.
Oh, say, do you think I could have some small article
of personal apparel?
You know, like a tie, a handkerchief,
a little camel's hair coat, anything?
- Yes, yes. I get something for you right now!
You won't leave?
- Hurricane Hazel could strike, I'm not movin'!
(delicate music)
Oh, you're cute!
Oh, the girls at the ballroom
wouldn't believe me in a million years!
♪ If they could see me now ♪
♪ That little gang of mine ♪
♪ I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine ♪
♪ I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact ♪
♪ The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract ♪
♪ All I can say is wowie ♪
♪ Look at where I am ♪
♪ Tonight, I landed, pow ♪
♪ Right in a pot of jam ♪
♪ What a set up, holy cow ♪
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
♪ If my friends could see me now ♪
(playful music)
♪ If they could see me now ♪
♪ That little gang of mine ♪
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
- Ooh! - Ooh!
Scusi, I'm very sorry.
- I beg your pardon!
- I used this in my first picture,
"Million Dollar Lips," it's yours.
- Ooh! Ooh, what a beautiful, black thing.
(audience laughing)
- No no no no no no no, it's a hat.
Ecco la! Wait, there's some more!
- Ecco la! (smooching)
(playful music)
♪ If they could see me now ♪
♪ My little dusty group ♪
♪ Traipsin' round this million-dollar chicken coop ♪
♪ I'd hear those thrift shop cats say, "Brother, get her ♪
♪ Draped on a bed spread made from three kinds of fur" ♪
♪ All I can say is wow ♪
♪ Wait till the riff and raff ♪
♪ See just exactly how he signed his autograph ♪
♪ What a build up, holy cow ♪
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
♪ If my friends could see me now ♪
(upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
(laughs nervously) Posturepedic!
- Yes, yes.
I used this in "The Dancing Spy." It's yours.
- Oh, I couldn't.
- Oh, you must.
- I can't. - I insist.
- I'll take it.
- Wait. There's some more.
- Ciao, Vittorio baby!
(bright upbeat music)
♪ If they could see me now ♪
♪ Alone with Mr. V ♪
♪ Who's waitin' on me like he was a maitre 'd ♪
♪ I'd hear my buddies saying, ♪
♪ "Crazy, what gives? ♪
♪ Tonight she's living like the other half lives" ♪
♪ To think the highest brow ♪
♪ Which I must say is he ♪
♪ Should pick the lowest brow ♪
♪ Which there's no doubt is me ♪
♪ What a step up, holy cow ♪
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
♪ If my friends could see me now ♪
(dramatic music)
(audience applauding)
(playful music)
(raunchy music)
(playful music)
(bright upbeat music)
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
♪ If my friends could see me now ♪
Hi, girls, it's me, Charity!
(playful music)
(audience applauding)