Hello to all my million fans around the world. This is Manjeet Singh, Chandigharh, Sector 17. And this is my DIY Good Morning Routine.
I start my day by tossing and turning to royalty-free pop music like this one.
(Royalty-free Pop Music) (Damn issa whole BOP!)
First, on my way to washroom. I usually sneeze unnecessarily loud. So the whole house can hear me.
AHCHOOOOOOO. (See a doctor dude)
Then I do shaving because I have beard because I am man OK? Not little baby boy.
Even though everybody else in house freezing I turn down thermostat because I am always hot.
No morning complete without watching news program and I think it very important to give my own commentary.
Corrupt! Bloody idiots! Look what they doing! Garbage! (he's not wrong).
Texting and driving fines have increased to $500.
HOO! Tsk Tsk Tsk! You see this. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
By 10 a.m I like to exaggerate what I hear on news to Lilly just so she know everything dangerous and she should never leave house.
Hey Lill, you know what they saying on news right now. right now. They saying all cell phone illegal. That's right.
No one allowed to use cell phone ever, anytime! They saying 2 million dollar fine plus the jail time.
They saying on news right now!
(weird face)
And then I turn thermostat down.
Every morning it important for me to tell stories from my childhood in India and make sure everybody listening.
Washing car, huh?
Ok, good. Very good
You know, I remember what my first car. It was actually rickshaw in Punjab. Red one, nice one. Best. Shiny.
It was like BMW of Rickshaw. First class.
And you know one day I was walking home from school in India. You know, slow slow.
While walking on my path one cobra. Oh big cobra (cobra sound?) come like this. I say "oh you get out of here." It go running!
That's right, I am strong man. You know? (Poor Scarbro)
Yeah, those were the days, you know? I used to drink Lassi and eat mango under big tree. You know what is Lassi?
Looking up the definitions for lassi.
Good girl.(Poor Siri)
And then I turn thermostat down.
So bloody hot!
By 11 a.m. I like to call electric company and complain about my bill. Huh Yeah. This my favourite hobby.
What you mean?
I never bloody touched thermostat, you know, that's it. (Lies Manjeet!)
I want to speak to manager. Okay. I'm going to cancel my electricity.
Every single morning, I do exercise while listening to my favorite songs. Why? Because am strong guy.
(Taylor Swift- Delicate)
All that cardio make me sweating, so I turned down thermostat.
Now I am ready to learn Apple Computer. Every day, I am learning slowly by slowly.
I tunes? What is i tunes?
OHHHHH.
It Tunes! Ok.
Now before lunch I like to complain about quality of minimum three things.
This cookie? All sugar! Bloody garbage!
This water, too much processing. All bloody chemical!
Look size of this Sprite! Bloody ripoff!
This Sprite? More like... "Sprong" (Nice one Manjeet)
Then I turn thermostat down.
My morning usually end with my spicy wife fighting with me. For no reason.
She just crazy You already finish milk? What the bloody hell wrong with you, huh? (This sounds familiar).
Oye, why you always so bloody cold towards me, huh?
She cold because I turned down thermostat.
SAVAGE MANJEET!!!
Wait one second! Before you go to end card, I have to tell you very important thing.
I have new television program called "Spice News" with my spicy wife Paramjeet on IGTV.
You saying what the bloody hell IG TV?
Let me tell you! Go update your Instant-gram app and you see this little thing there.
For free "Spice News" program, you watch on that.
Absolutely flee flee, fr, free . At No money! Do it now! Thank you. Bye.
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One love stupid poo poo pee pee. OK bye!