- Is there really a difference
between Depersonalization and Derealization?
Can you get rid of one, but not the other?
Do you need to treat them separately?
Hey everyone, I'm Shaun O Connor,
author of "The Depersonalization Manual".
I suffered with chronic Depersonalization disorder
for two years before I recovered completely.
And in the more than 10 years since then,
my book, "The Depersonalization Manual"
has helped thousands of people around the world
to recover from DP.
And today we're going to answer
one of the most common questions associated with DP
once and for all.
What's the difference between Depersonalization
and Derealization?
Let's get started.
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If you've looked through Depersonalization groups
and forums online,
you'll know that one of the most common threads
is the debate about the differences
between Depersonalization and Derealization.
Are they different conditions?
Do they have their own discrete symptoms?
Can they happen entirely separately from one another?
Now I know these might sound like complicated questions,
but the answer is a lot more simple than you might think.
But first in order to discuss DP and DR properly,
we should define them.
So Depersonalization or DP is a feeling of disconnection
from yourself.
You might feel as if you're separated from your body,
your senses, et cetera.
You might feel as if you're a robot,
as if your body isn't your own.
Almost like you're watching your thoughts,
your speech, and your movements from outside yourself.
A common description of DP is something like,
"I know I'm here, but I feel as if I'm not in my body,
like I'm watching my existence happen".
Derealization or DR on the other hand
is a feeling of disconnection from the world around you.
The world can appear two dimensional and unreal.
It can feel as if reality is a dream, like a TV show,
or that it's fake and could cease to exist at any moment.
Both DP and DR can be very distressing.
They can cause to suffer to experience doubts
about the reality of themselves
and of the world around them.
And this can lead them to frightening
and intrusive existential thoughts.
Believe me, I know this all too well,
and it's not a very pleasant experience.
Now, most people who experienced DP and DR
often report feeling one more than the other,
but it's usually a mixture of both.
But are these separate conditions
that need to be dealt with individually?
The short answer is no, even just from my own experience.
As somebody who suffered with anxiety driven dissociation
for years, I can say that I consistently experienced
a mixture of the symptoms of DP and DR.
In terms of the DP symptoms,
I hardly recognize myself in the mirror
and my body felt like it belonged to somebody else.
Seeing photographs of myself was really strange.
I knew that I was the person in the images,
but I couldn't connect to them emotionally.
But I also had strong DR symptoms.
The world felt strange and unreal
as if I was looking through a pane of glass all the time.
Reality seemed like it was flat and in 2D
to the point where I became convinced
that there was actually something wrong with my vision.
So, as somebody with extensive experience
of both DP and DR, and who has personally dealt
with thousands of DP, DR sufferers over the years,
which was the most important to address first?
Which was the more persistent?
Which one should you focus on more
in order to speed up your recovery?
The answer is neither.
The entire debate about whether you have
more Depersonalization or Derealization
is basically pointless.
It's like arguing about which is the more important
flu symptom, the sneezing or the running nose.
You can argue about them all day,
but it's not gonna help with your flu.
It doesn't matter if you're experiencing more DP, or DR.
They're two sides of the same coin
and they're both caused by one thing, anxiety.
Trying to break them down into separate conditions
is just an academic exercise.
And all that's doing is causing you to focus more and more
on the unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
This isn't divisible in the same way
that you can distinguish, say,
a broken arm from a broken leg.
Delving into it and attempting to make the condition
as categorizable as possible is just picking at the scab
when you should be allowing it to heal.
This is a condition that's based on anxious thinking,
constantly analyzing, delineating, defining it,
and arguing about it, especially on forums,
where the best prolonged condition
and at worst intensify it.
The idea of these conditions being separate
is just that, an idea.
In practice, it's just trying to categorize something
that's essentially your brain's natural response to stress.
It's over-complicating a harmless
and temporary protective mechanism.
Now I don't mean to suggest that there is no difference
between DP and DR.
And in certain circumstances,
for example, with serious head trauma,
it can be beneficial to distinguish
between the two as part of recovery.
However, with anxiety-based conditions,
the difference is essentially irrelevant
because when you address the underlying cause, anxiety,
both the DP and the DR would become equally less important,
equally less noticeable,
and will eventually both stop completely.
Here's a very helpful way to think about it.
The symptoms of Depersonalization and Derealization
can often feel quite overwhelming,
like an obstacle course of symptoms
that you have to deal with one by one.
Anxious thoughts, feelings of unreality,
existential thoughts, et cetera, et cetera.
But one of the keys to recovery is realizing
that you don't have to deal with these symptoms
one by one.
Categorizing and focusing on the differences
between DP and DR is just another version
of this faulty thinking.
It feels like yet another puzzle that you have to figure out
in order to progress with your recovery,
when in fact the opposite is true.
There is no amount of over-analyzing DP, or DR,
or the differences between them
that will help your recovery.
Spending time mentally interrogating DP and DR
is a hamster wheel of analysis that only feeds the anxiety
and causes more panicked thoughts.
Believe me, I did exactly that for two years
and there is no answer behind us,
no logic that you're going to suddenly uncover
that will cause everything to make sense.
Why?
Because anxiety isn't based on logic.
It's based on an ancient evolutionary response.
It is there to raise a temporary biological alarm
and get you out of danger.
It's not there to be analyzed over weeks and months,
which prevents it from fading away naturally.
The feelings of DP and DR are the mental equivalent
of heart palpitations or muscle tension.
They are meant to be brief and temporary.
Continually interrogating and categorizing
the thoughts and feelings, just keeps you focused on them
and prevents them from fading away naturally,
which again, is what they are supposed to do.
So the bottom line is that there is no practical difference
between DP and DR.
And as counterintuitive as it might seem,
trying to constantly define them through research
and categorization isn't helpful.
And in fact, it can even temporarily
slow down your recovery.
Knowing this is a big step towards fully understanding
Depersonalization and Derealization.
Why you don't need to be afraid of them,
why they're harmless and temporary,
and why you can and will recover completely?
If you want tons more information
on Depersonalization recovery,
check out my website dpmanual.com
where you'll find everything that you need to know,
including my complete guide to recovery,
"The Depersonalization Manual".
If you have any comments or questions,
leave them in the comments section below,
and I'll make sure to answer and help you out.
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And if you found this video helpful,
please do Like and Share.
Thanks for watching.
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