Top 10 Foods That Are Surprisingly Good For You
10. Chili Peppers
Chili peppers are usually reserved for pizzas, curries, and rock stars wearing nothing but
strategically-placed tube socks. Though most would consider them an addition to food at
most, solely reserved for making food slightly more manly these bad boys should be the main
course. They have more Vitamin C than oranges; in fact, they contain more Vitamin C than
any other food, containing your entire recommended daily allowance per pepper!
9. Horse Meat
Although current events have made it sound a little macabre, horse meat isn’t anything
new. Not to mention that the animal gives meat that’s leaner than virtually every
other meat available on the market, as well as being far cheaper. Then again, we’ve
all seen War Horse; could you really eat an animal that may have been related to a war
hero? If so, good for you, you’ve made a sound health decision. Enjoy your horse energy
and potential warrior-soul-infused steak.
8. Watermelon
Watermelon is usually seen as a summer snack, nothing more than an alternative to giving
their kids the candy they’d obviously prefer. But watermelon is chock full of iron. How
much, you ask? More than freaking spinach. Popeye, you’ve been lying to yourself all
these years.
7. Almonds
Almonds, AKA what marzipan is supposed to taste like, are definitely something you should
eat more of; they contain unsaturated fats, tons of vitamins, and more fiber than you
shake a stick at. They contain so much fiber, in fact, you’ll be unable to do anything
except muse on how you can now set a watch to your stool.
6. Basil
If you’re not putting basil in everything you cook, up to and including cereal, cakes,
and bacon, you should start. Because it’s not just a yummy green thing; it contains
obscene amounts of Vitamins A and K, as well as tons of magnesium, which is so good for
your heart it’s legally considered the exact opposite of a shotgun blast.
5. Honey
Honey is perhaps nature’s perfect food, since it never goes bad, ever. Its powers
don’t stop there though, since it’s also nature’s antiseptic, meaning it can fix
everything from a burn to a sore throat. Health-wise, the list of things honey does is so long that
men should feel inadequate on principle while reading it.
4. Yeast Extract
Although it looks more like something you’d find holding 15-year-old wallpaper up, yeast
extract is so full of healthy stuff, it’s possible it turned brown to keep people from
learning about its true power. It contains enough Vitamin B to beat a piece of liver
to death four times over, and has almost the same amount of protein as chicken. Not too
shabby for brown paste you could easily mistake for something you stepped in.
3. Soy Sauce
Some people are wary of soy sauce because of MSG. Those people are idjits, and you should
feel no remorse for slapping them hard in the face. Soy sauce is loaded with vitamins
and minerals, and is a surprisingly effective antioxidant, so splashing it on everything
will only make you feel better as a person, as long as you buy the low-salt version.
2. Caviar
Although reserved for the rich, famous, and super-rich-and-famous (if mega caviar isn’t
available,) caviar is full of healthy goodness such as Vitamin B12, as well as being a status
food. Because being rich means you get to eat the unborn children of fish, pay more
than most people earn in a year for it, and still get health benefits, because screw you
poor people.
1. Chili Powder
It’s expected that fresh food is going to be good for you, which is why fresh chilies
were on this list. Apparently though, chilies are so damn healthy that, even when you process
the hell out of them and put them into an inferior powdered form, they’ve still got
more vitamin E in them than spinach. And thank god, because we simply could not end this
article without digging the knife a little deeper into Popeye’s heart.