how'd you become better communicating now if you have asked me that question
eight years ago I would have said listen you're talking to the wrong person right
guys and I've got a telephone interview in about 15 minutes now and I'm going to a
live coverage of it and this is a quick run-through of what I'm gonna say on
the telephone interview how do you see I'm like shy socially anxious you should
probably go speak to that guy not me but today this is a question that I get
asked from so many of you every single day you guys ask me some how to get from
somebody who is pretty shy for somebody who's a speaker that career go in the
middle she eats food on webcam makes 9K a month people like to learn how to do that
no money you just need a better strategy and this is a strategy that
works this a strategy that works literally can speak on a stage to hundreds
of people and you guys know in April I've been offered an opportunity to
speak all over Asia basically just sharing the stage with incredibly
successful people sharing my message to the masses and you know when it comes to
networking parties I can foster that positive you know network the most
empowering network with the world's most successful people because I'm able to
effectively communicate with other people and so today I want to really
explain to you the three ways that I basically figured this out because over
the last eight years I've dedicated myself to self-improvement
self-development I really found that these three things
will give you the massive leverage that you need to get more results in your
life so make sure to take plenty of notes and most importantly make sure to
take massive action after this okay sound cool alright awesome so the
first thing you need to know and it's something you're probably not
expecting is listening listening is the most important thing when it comes to
communication and you're probably wondering Tim listening I thought you're
gonna say speak more and just just practice talking well is what you've
gotta realize just talking doesn't make you a better communicator like
listening just listening doesn't make you a good listener right because there
are different ways people listen and majority people 99 percent of people
follow this pattern when they listen all they're doing is something it's called
internal listening write that down if you've got notepad in front of you
it's called internal listening and this is how it goes like and you probably
notice this pattern maybe in your own life or maybe somebody else has done it
to you say you've just been to holiday in a beautiful beautiful island of
Thailand or wherever right and you told this to somebody and they're like
oh well I've been to Thailand as well did you go to this cafe yeah this cafe
is called that Mambo cafe you've been there and they're like that cafe was
awesome you should need to be there right what do they do this is something
that's called internal listening all they did was listen to the first thing you
said and they sabotage that they sabotaged it and made it all about them
okay and this is a pattern 99% of people out there run when they hear something
they're like oh my god I've done that have you been there have you done this
oh by the way I'm like this time and done that I just received this and it's just
all about them and that usually makes us feel like oh my gosh this guy's so
self-centered this guy's so like arrogant okay so this is not how you
make people like you this is not how you influence people what you do is the next
level and this is called listening to understand is to basically remove your
model of the world from them and just listen to understand what's really going
on and whatever they're saying if they're saying they've been to Thailand
you're like oh where and they're like oh you know I went to this beautiful
Phuket a they're like what did you do and they're like I went surfing and you know
what you like about surfing what made you go there and they'll basically go
deeper and deeper and this is listening to understand understanding what really
happened not implementing your model world onto theirs and
sabotaging the conversation and making it all about you that's how you truly
influence somebody my friends and so really become the conscious of the
patterns that you're running if you wanna be able to foster a really empowering
your network because all of the insiders should know that your networth is in your
networks so in order to really become more successful you've got to hang
around with incredibly successful people the world's 1% so in order to do that
you go to become a better communicator and what I'm saying to you right now is you've
gotta become a master listener and over the last eight years this is what I've
really practiced is how to listen how do you really listen to understand not
listen to sabotage that conversation and make it about me and if right now you
think Oh Tim I'm really good at listening or listen you should get
better do you like the way I use listen there no pun intended
trust me listening is a powerful powerful tool that you got to make sure
that you use right because if you truly listen you will get to pick up and
golden nuggets and for all of you business owners out there you guys know you know
selling is everything when it comes to business and life so if you wanna
influence the customers even more just listen listen to understand the customer
and you'll find out that there are golden nuggets that you did not pick out the
moment you pick that out they're be like wow your product solves that problem I'm
in how much do I owe you okay so listening is incredibly powerful now the
second point I wanna mention is about basically building rapport and this is
something is called mirroring and rapport okay so there's mirror and rapport
and the way you do this is you you mirror how somebody is for example sat
if they're crossed arms you slowly cross your arms if they're sweet speaking
quite slow you wanna kind of mirror that it's basically about building the
rapport because the moment you build rapport with somebody and you mimic
their body language subtly not obviously because if they do this and you suddenly
do that they're like what is this guy doing it's about doing it subtly okay
they'll feel like they're connected to you so if they're slowly leaning in we
they're listening to you when you're talking you lean in as well and if
you'll find that you will feel more closer to that person as well at the
moment you do this so if somebody's crossing their arms you slowly cross
their arms and they'll find out after a while what they'll be telling their
friends is well this person understands me
these are unconscious things that's happening here and they weren't truly
wait to realize this until you know they take a step backwards and they realize
what's happening which often they wont okay because they're in flow they're
just listening to you and you were communicating but you will find that if
you really mirror and rapport out a person you can understand them even more
so the listening element is even over amplified at this stage you become a
master you know listener it's really really important that you mirror and
rapport whenever you're speaking to somebody and
of course on the stage for this matter you don't do this right you just do
something else but I can create a video on you know how to speak in regards of
stage because it is bit different but this is specifically for if you wanna
influence people in a networking party so make sure to mirror and rapport the
next time you're in conversation with somebody and you'll find there are huge
huge differences and you will feel more connected as a result okay so let's go
on to the final point and the final point is what you've been waiting for it
is to practice the first thing to practice is listening okay of course
because listening is crucial when it comes to influencing people and so next
time you're in a conversation I want you to just become just hundred percent
present into the moment and listen to every single word that other person
saying to you and oh my god you're gonna basically pick up on things you've
never picked up before all of you who are in relationship right now
you'll be like wow I've been with my partner for like I don't know God knows
ten years and I've just picked up on something up never become conscious of
that's the power of listening to understand you'll basically be like
going through these caves and you'll finally get you know get to the truth
right because majority of this conversation that happens on this day
and age is surface layer its surface layer conversation and so if you're able
to truly listen to understand you get to the stuff right this is where the
meaningful conversations happen have you ever you know conversed with somebody
and it's just like took time flies by this is what happens this is the whole
flow of the conversation and that happens from being present and that
happens from if the person is true truly listening okay and the next thing
is of course to practice conversing is to practice speaking and this is
something that you was probably expecting to hear from me right practice speaking
of course that's how I become a better communicator well it is yes you gotta
make sure you practice speaking you know every single Saturday a practice
speaking on camera I really do and I'm practicing right now by speaking to you
guys I'm practicing communicating and so when I've got a speech which I do in two
weeks where I'll be speaking to hundreds of people I basically go through my slides
and I practice and just looking at the mirror I practice speaking communication
and it is a skill if you wanna become better at speaking in regards to
talking you've gotta make sure you talk more okay so analyze the best speakers
on this planet and just basically mirror and rapport just pick just basically
model whatever they're doing if they're speaking from their belly which majority
of them are just speak from your belly not from your chest like you know
if you speak from your chest it kind of sounds like this it but if you speak from
your belly there is more power in your voice right so make sure to speak from
your belly it shows more certainty and more confidence if you're able to speak
from your stomach so do that literally you all you have to do is model somebody who's
good at speaking and talk like them act like them just have the same body
language like them and soon you'll begin to see the same results and then you can
put your own spin on it it's kinda like when you learn to play
an instrument you firstly start with other people's you know melodies their
little tune and then once you've mastered the craft you can create your
own song but you've gotta first master this before you put your own spin on it
so I highly suggest you work off a single day every single week if possible
if you really want to accelerate this learning you book off a whole day every single
week and then you literally just practice practice
just talking communicating stand up and just look at the camera and just talk
talk talk record it play back and see what you need to improve and if you want
to go even step further you can actually create it into a content so do some
Facebook live stream videos that way it feels like you're actually speaking for
me Facebook live stream is the closest to actually speaking on the stage since
it's live video and all your friends are watching so if you're ready to come
better Facebook live stream and just practice talking talking talking every
single week and you will find after a while things just flow the words just fit
into place right this is the awesome awesome feeling of flow and I truly love
it when I'm speaking and that happens usually after like 20 minutes of just
constantly speaking you'll find you get into this state of flow and just words
are just fitting into place and you just can talk for years on theirs right so
they're the three tips I hope you found it helpful and please go take action on it
right now so as always insider follow your heart my friend and take action and go
live the life you're born to live speak to you soon
you