♪♪
[sigh]
The situation is dire.
I know I have enemies in the Senate.
But which are friend and which are foe?
I cannot say.
I have been told of a certain sea snake
which has a very unusual method of attracting its prey.
It will lie at the bottom of the ocean as if wounded,
then its enemies will approach
and yet, it will remain quite still.
And then, its enemies will take little bites of it,
and yet it remains still.
So, we will lie still and let our enemies
come to us and nibble.
Excellent plan.
There's more.
Oh?
Then, its enemies will start to gather around,
outnumbering the sea snake and they will start to tease it.
They begin with general bullying
and eventually it gets nasty and turns to personal attacks,
body shaming and what have you.
And yet it remains still.
Okay.
Then, its enemies will acquire weapons.
Oh my.
And beat the sea snake with clubs,
flails, other sea snakes who are also remaining still.
Goodness.
They also destroy items of sentimental value
to the snake, family heirlooms, childhood knickknacks, siblings.
What?
And yet--
It remains still.
Then its enemies will become frustrated and say,
"Why don't you react sea snake,
"you don't ever fight back or anything.
In fact you don't move at all."
To which the sea snake responds--
Here we go.
By remaining still.
[sigh]
Then its enemies will start to become afraid.
Now, we're getting somewhere.
So, the snake uses their fear to manipulate them.
No, it still remains still still,
even while it's enemies bury it alive.
What?
Is it holding its breath?
Oh, it can't.
It dies instantly.
What?
And yet it remains--
Still?
Still.
Of course it's still, it's dead.
But it's not yet out of the game,
for you see once it's enemies return to their homes,
they all, each and every one of them, die.
They do?
Yes.
Fifty years later.
From old age?
Mm-hm.
So, you see the cunning sea snake gets the last laugh.
He died!
Fifty years before his enemies.
Sixty in some cases.
I can't believe you're my chief advisor.
Caesar, I am ever in your service,
but if you do not wish to take my recommendations,
you need not...
[muffled cries]
[stabbing noises]
Finally!
You guys were supposed to be here forever ago!
I had to stall him with some idiotic sea snake story.
Not my best work.
Thanks for watching, guys.
Make sure to catch us on your watch,
tablet, laptop, TV and interactive braille console.
Coming soon, possibly.
I have no idea.
Subscribe!