-Once on a connecting flight from Phoenix to Denver
I went to the Atlanta Airport.
Okay, you want to talk exotic,
I saw two indoor pigeons work together
to carry a bagel.
♪♪
-Well, it's one of the busiest travel times of the year,
so here with her holiday travel tips
is seventh-grade travel expert Carrie Krum.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey, Michael.
-Hi, Carrie.
So, how are you liking your trip to New York?
-Oh, I love it. Yeah.
I mean, I went to Times Square and I saw the real Spider-Man,
and he gave me the finger.
-Cool.
So, Carrie, what kind of destinations
can you recommend for vacationers?
-Oh, well, one of the absolute best global destinations
has got to be Columbus, Ohio.
Oh, yeah. You got cousins. You got aunts.
And did you know that uncles can have ponytails, too?
Yeah. But the best thing about Columbus is...
Michael, Michael...
-What?
-My cousin's neighbors are boys.
-Alright, Carrie, that sounds pretty specific
to your family's trips.
Where can other people travel?
-Um, try the Twin freakin' Cities.
Yeah. Yeah.
Where you'll go to a farm and see a really big pig.
And your brother will tell you that's where ham comes from,
and then you'll sob because you love to eat ham.
-Again, that feels like what you did in the Twin Cities.
What can everybody do?
-Okay, well, might I recommend staying
at my Aunt Nancy's house?
Because, Michael, Michael...
-Yes?
-Aunt Nancy's bra was on the couch!
[ Laughs ]
So, yeah, overall, pretty great trip.
Except that, I will say, for when I got spanked.
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh, don't be, Michael.
I mean, that's what traveling is all about,
you know, testing boundaries.
Like in Dubuque, Iowa, where my parents
were drinking daiquiris and laughing,
and, you know, I don't get it,
but when adults are laughing,
I'm laughing right along with them.
[ Laughing ] Yeah.
-Now, that sounds like a fun vacation.
-Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dubuque is a can't-miss.
I mean, when I was there, my cousin Mitchell
forgot his bathing suit, so he got to wear
his underwear in the hot tub.
And, Michael...
Michael... -What?
-You could kind of see his butt.
-Alright.
Well, have you ever been anywhere exotic?
-Oh, yeah. Uh, duh.
Okay, once, on a connecting flight from Phoenix to Denver,
I went to the Atlanta airport.
Okay, you want to talk exotic?
I saw two indoor pigeons work together to carry a bagel.
That's a bonjour vacation.
-Well, it sounds like you've had a lot of awesome vacations.
I mean, were there any places you didn't like?
-Yeah.
Um...Montana.
-Montana. Why?
-Because when I went to Montana,
I fell on a bunch of rocks on my back.
-Where? -On my back.
-No. I meant where in Montana?
-On the rocks!
It really hurt, so please don't go there.
Yeah, the rocks are hard, and my back is too soft.
-Okay, I won't go there.
-Hey, Michael, um, I'm sorry. Can we please stop?
'Cause I need to go to the bathroom.
-Can't you just wait till the end?
-No, 'cause Mumford & Sons gave me a bunch of Sierra Mist.
-Well, if you have to go, then go.
-Okay. Thank you, Michael.
I love you, Michael.
-Carrie Krum, everybody!
-I love my cousins!
-Spring break is around the corner,
which means families across the country
are heading out on vacation.
Here with her insider tips
is seventh-grade travel expert Carrie Krum.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hi, Michael! Hi!
-Hi, Carrie. So, how's your trip to New York?
-Oh, I love it.
I saw a cop on a horse yell at a bus.
-Cool. So, where should people head for spring break?
-Oh, well, spring break means fun, sun,
and music on the beach,
so you got to head to Boise, Idaho.
It checks every box.
Grammy, my step-grandpa, A.K.A. Peepo,
and their cat that's so old, it has an I.V.
hanging from the chandelier.
Not to mention their neighbor has a daughter who's my age.
And she put eye shadow on me, Michael.
And, Michael...
Michael... -Yeah?
-...when the pizza guy saw me,
he asked if we were having a party.
-Okay, that sounds like what your family did in Boise.
Any ideas for what other people can do?
-Oh, yeah, well, an absolute must-see
is my Grammy's cul-de-sac.
It is primo roller-blade country.
But, travelers, please, learn from my mistake
and do not roller blade on gravel, okay?
I fell and scraped my chin,
and my brother said it looked like I had a blood goatee.
And at the time, I was mad... [ Laughs ]
...but now I've gotta give it up for the blood goatee.
[ Laughter ] It's good.
-Okay. Well, for spring break, a lot of people like to
go to the beach.
Do you have any beach recommendations?
-Yeah, I do. -Okay.
-Oh, sure.
Say aloha to the beaches of
Western Pennsylvania.
I'm talking Lake Erie.
Go ankle-deep in this ice-cold water that stinks.
And, Michael, did you know that flies can be on the beach?
-No. That's -- That's cool.
-Yeah, it is.
And also, we had to stop in Pittsburgh on the way
to see my dad's side of the family,
and my brother had to wear a yarmulke to dinner.
[ Laughing ]
And, Michael...
Michael...
-Yeah?
-...it looked like half of a bra.
[ Laughter ] Oh, God!
-Well, at least it sounds like you have fun wherever you go.
-Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
But trips aren't always easy, you know?
One time, in the car, I told my family
that I loved my mom more than my dad,
and everyone got really quiet.
But that's life on the road, Michael.
-It absolutely is.
-Oh, and Michael...
Michael...
-Yeah? -Safety.
-Oh, no. Carrie Krum, everybody.
-Sorry. Emma stone gave me a bunch of corndogs.
-With temperatures dropping, people are looking
to escape winter blues by heading to warmer climates.
Here with her insider tips
is seventh-grade travel expert Carrie Krum.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hi, Michael. -Hi, Carrie.
So, how was your holidays? -Awesome.
Yeah, I bit into a cherry chocolate
and there was alcohol inside of it.
But don't worry Michael, I wasn't driving.
-So, Carrie, what are some destinations
where people can head this winter?
-Oh, well, I'm glad you asked me Mike.
A destination will impress
is none other than my uncle's house in Lincoln, Nebraska.
It's got a fridge in the garage,
a dog on it's way out
with both his eyes that look like milky moons,
and an elliptical where I saw boy's bathing suit was drying.
And, Michael...
Michael...
There was a net inside.
-Alright, Carrie. I was thinking of a warmer destination.
Like a beach. -Oh. Got you.
Well, you want fun in the sun? Then head to Muskegon, Michigan.
We had a magical night at my cousin's basketball tournament
where I drank a red Gatorade
which made me look like I was wearing lipstick.
And then, I took a wrong turn into the boys locker room
where I saw a big boy changing.
And, Michael...
Michael...
On his belly, there were hairs.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay. [ Laughs ]
Um, what about somewhere like Florida.
You ever been to Florida? -Oh, baby!
Have I, right, girls?
Oh, I was the queen of the Panhandle
visiting my mom's Aunt Agnus.
Michael, she is living the life.
Her bed is in the living room,
and it has a remote control.
Oh, what? Am I dreaming?
And she gave me a root beer candy
for every page of the bible that I read out loud to her.
And do you know what it says in the bible?
Michael...
Jesus rode an ass.
[ Laughs ]
I mean, that's been getting me for days.
Whoo!
-Well, Carrie, it sound like you had a great winter break.
-Well, not New Year's Eve. -Oh!
Why didn't you like New Year's Eve?
-Because my cousin gave me Mountain Dew soup, Michael.
-What's Mountain Dew soup?
-Well, it's Mountain Dew in a bowl that you eat with a spoon.
And I had too much and then I ran into a sliding glass door.
-Oh, no! -Yeah. And then I barfed.
-Carrie! -And it was green,
so everyone called me Slimer.
-Carrie Krum, everybody. -Halsey gave me five bucks.
Yeah.
♪♪