[gentle music]
- I'm Joe Navarro. I'm a body language expert.
And today I'm going to be reviewing my own body language.
So in May of 2019, I was looking at body language for Wired.
Now we're going to be looking at my body language
during that same time period.
[typewriter typing]
- Most of my career,
I spent within the national security division.
A lot of it had to do with looking at specific targets.
And then it was about, well,
how do we get in their heads and how do we neutralize?
- So there were some questions about my interlaced hands
during this initial video.
And that for me, that's just one of those comfort behaviors
that I use to help myself.
Obviously I'm not in front of the camera all the time.
So it does provide a little bit
of a psychological discomfort.
So oftentimes you'll see me with interlaced hands
and many people do that.
And it's just that it's a comforting behavior.
I find it very useful.
And if you've ever wondered what to do
when you're sitting in a meeting
and don't know what to do with your hands,
just interlace your fingers.
It's better than having your hands flat
or your hands disappear totally from the table.
[typewriter typing]
- But we may think we're very sophisticated, but in fact,
we are never in a state
where we're not transmitting information.
- Oh wait, wait, wait, go, go back.
Because I did something really weird.
My elbows came in and my hands went out
and I realize that when I'm uncomfortable,
I do things that actually reflect that.
Now you've probably seen me grab my whole,
my hands together multiple times,
that's dealing with insecurity, but here at this moment,
what you see is I bring my elbows close to the body
and my hands come together here.
And what I'm in essence doing is being less territorial.
And as I evaluate myself, I'm saying to myself,
okay, this is something you shouldn't do.
Even if it was just momentary,
that my gestures should be fluid.
They should be out here that by self restraining myself,
I'm actually taking away from the message.
And this is one of the advantages
of watching a video is that you can see yourself
make this mistake and say, you know what?
I'm going to be careful next time to make sure
that I don't do it even if it's just momentarily.
[typewriter typing]
- In my 25 years in the FBI,
it was a rarity that a person didn't eventually
reveal what I needed to know.
- So as in looking at the video
and I'm having a good conversation with myself,
and I realize how often my leg shakes,
and this is a comment that has been made.
I've been made aware of several times
and I tend to bounce my leg or my foot tends to shake.
And I do that subconsciously.
I think it helps me to relax.
I think it helps me to deal with stress.
I've done it all my life.
Why are we seeing it here?
A person that lives in Florida,
he all of a sudden is now in New York City,
in a strange environment,
surrounded by at least 10 or 15 people
that I've never met before and that creates anxiety.
And how do we deal with anxiety?
We deal with them through the use of pacifiers,
the hand touching, the hand wringing, the shaking legs,
all contribute to that process.
If it stands out and people can notice it,
it can be very distracting.
So it's one of those things
that I'm going to be paying attention to from now on.
[typewriter typing]
So I just noticed one other small behavior
and it's a small gesture.
And that is that I'm pulling down on my jacket.
This is called a preening behavior.
And we do that for a couple of reasons.
You know, some people do it
because they want to fix themselves, right?
They want to look right.
I remember as an FBI agent,
we always preened ourselves, fixed our jackets and our ties
before the jury came into the room.
I think I was doing the same here
because I was very conscious of how my suit was looking
in front of the camera, because they kept saying,
make sure you pull down so the back of your suit
doesn't scrunch upwards.
The other reason that we sometimes preen ourselves
is because we are physically touching our bodies
and in doing so, the texture of the material,
the coldness of the material, in this case here,
also helps to soothe us in the same way
that a small child will hang on to a blanket
or a teddy bear or something.
That touch helps to calm us.
We never really outgrow that.
Even as adults.
We will always be touching things to help us to calm down.
And in my case, obviously to me,
I can well see that there was a high degree
of nervousness there
and that's how I was dealing with it.
[typewriter typing]
You as an audience and even me right now,
as I'm watching this,
I realized I had forgotten all this activity
that's going on, and I have to be mindful
of what I'm going to say,
how I say it, and what's next.
Oftentimes we look at a video,
we see an interview and we forget how many dozens of people
were behind that camera
and that everything that is behind the camera
and everything that happened that day
prior to that camera turning on
affects that person in a moment in time.
The best that we can do is appreciate what's said,
how it's said, and then maybe we can dig a little deeper,
but we shouldn't come to too many conclusions
just based on a video and what an eye-opener for me,
as I'm watching myself here.
And I realize that there were three cameras
and 15 people at that moment looking at me
and how intimidated I actually felt.
I'm a high end introvert.
So watching myself, being in front of a group is very,
very difficult, but I think it's something
that we can now with iPhones and other, you know,
smartphones, it's easy to do,
to watch ourselves,
even if it's just for a few minutes and say,
boy, how can I improve on that?
And so I think it's a useful tool.