Film Courage: How do you keep faith in yourself and in your craft during turbulent times?
Brad Rushing, Cinematographer: Boy is that a good question! Talk about dirty laundry.
I have this terrific career coach. Her name is Erica Wernick and she’s really fabulous.
You should interview her. She’s got a book coming out. I’ll send you her information.
But she would probably punch me in the arm for saying this, but
there was a time early in my career (early on in the 90’s) where I was so frustrated and so
down and didn’t believe in myself and I just had this revelation You know what, I’ve set a goal.
I don’t have to believe in myself. I just have to do the steps that I committed to doing to get
me through the valley of the shadow of death and that worked for me. It was a device that worked
for me and I feel like occasionally I still have it. I mean I think a lot of people like Erica talk
about how important it is to believe in yourself and to believe that your success is inevitable.
And that is also very powerful. I just find that my brain is a little more complex in terms of
the things it does to me. I don’t know that I am always in the driver’s seat
and quite honestly I deal with self-esteem issues. I really do. I think a lot of people do in this
business. Your identity is tied up in your work even if you don’t want it to be because you put so
much of yourself into it and if it doesn’t do well or even if it does well I mean honestly the irony
to me of having something successful and praised and then not having a lot of work, that’s even
worse than having something criticized because if least if they criticized it you are like
okay it’s garbage, I get it. But if they say it’s awesome and then the jobs don’t follow you’re like
where’s the karma, where’s the payoff, we made a deal. So that is harder for me.
I do try and keep faith in myself and you know honestly when I do have crisis with the system
or success is a nebulous thing I really get basic and I go back and remind you know Brad you're an
artist. That was the contract you made. You never said you wanted to be rich. I don’t care about
being rich. I would like to be self-sufficient. I’d like to be secure. If I was rich it would be
okay but I’d be donating, helping, and I mean I just don’t need a super yacht and an island.
But I remind myself of the contract that I made was that I wanted to be an artist, simple as that.
I look at the work that I’ve done, I look at the work that I am doing and even if
those people don’t like it or those people don't like it or even if everybody likes it and I don’t
get a job or an award, it’s like you know what? You’ve got to do the work. Somebody gave you the
toys. Somebody gave you the sandbox and they let you build your sandcastle and then that’s enough.
Film Courage: Do you think a lot of success is luck or success can be orchestrated?
Brad: I want to believe it can be orchestrated and I know
people who feel very strongly about that and I feel…I
feel it can be influenced. I don’t know if I believe it can be orchestrated in a guaranteed
way because for a hundred people doing a hundred things more or less the same they
are going to have different outcomes because they are going to know different people. They
will be at different moments in time. It will be a different project. They may have a different
mode to their personality or their energy. I don’t know? It can be simple things.
I’ll give you an example. I have people who message me out of the blue and if people message
me and they have a specific question and they say Brad what light did you use in that particular
scene or they say would you look at my resume, I respond to them. People who hit me up and they say
How are you doing? I just don’t even answer because how do I…I don’t need any small talk
and how do I answer that? So the point being is that the way you interact with the world
be it me or be it those persons emailing me you’re going to get a different response depending on
what you put out there and I've forgotten your question but I hope you answered it.
Film Courage: Oh you did, you did. Because I was saying is success - is a lot of it luck
or can it be orchestrated so it sounds like it might be sort of a combination?
Brad: It’s got to be, it really has to be because what is it they say? Success
is preparation meeting opportunity right? You have to be prepared. If you go into that meeting,
if you luck out and you get that meeting but you don’t know squat you’re not going to impress them.
But if you are a genius and you’re an introvert and won’t go out and do the meetings, then you
are still stuck and just for anybody who is an introvert I am a terrible introvert. I am so shy
but I want this more than I want to be shy so I just…I’m not an actor but in that way I am
an actor. I will go do the act and I’m not always good. If I’m in a crowd and I don’t know anybody
and I don’t have a wingman, that’s kryptonite. I shut down and I sit in the corner to this day I am
ashamed of it but I’m powerless. But if I have a wingman, if I don’t have somebody else to help me
or at least find “Oh, I know that person!” They can introduce me. When I was a little kid
my mom would say do you want a slurpee? And I’d be sitting in the car and she’s say you have to
go in and get it I would just sit there and cry because I didn’t want to go in
by myself I was so shy, so it was hard you know. But
if you want something enough then you do the things you need to do. One of my favorite
sayings right now because I’m looking to level up. Look I mean I could be at the top and I’d
still be looking to level up but there’s this great but there’s this great saying and it’s if
you want something you’ve never had before you have to do something you’ve never done before
and sometimes that might be obvious but sometimes it’s surprising. Just the other day I had this
realization because I’m a workaholic and I drive myself like crazy and I was reading Erica’s book
as a matter of fact [Meant For This: The Mindset And Strategy To Achieve Your Most "Impossible"
Dreams by Erica Wernick]. Meant For This - go out and buy it. It’s a really good book
but I had a thought that was really kind of a non-sequitur. It wasn’t really relevant to
what I was reading but I thought Brad you need quiet time. You need to stop and just
be quiet whether you meditate or just watch the world go by because you don't do that
and that's surprising because my logical brain said well that’s not going to get you anywhere.
But then I start thinking because I know that you just can’t go 24 hours even though I have
because you will wear down. You will lose your acuity so maybe that is the thing? Maybe I need
more breaks and more quiet time because maybe that will make the time I do spend with working just
that more focused and that more effective. It’s better to spend five really effective
minutes than an hour kind of unfocused, tired and distracted. So that was the thing that I thought
that's interesting because that’s a thing I hadn’t done before and it's not what I would have guessed
but you know that’s just kind of the thing about success is when people ask advice about success
or about being a cinematographer or being on set or meeting people or networking,
everybody wants the formula, they want the roadmap. They want the A-B-C equals D and
I get that because as humans I think we're wired that way. I want that but guess what? I’ve never
found it. It’s just always different. It’s a moving target and you learn as you go and you
take your best guess and you try it and if it doesn’t work then you’re like okay
it’s not working, I’m not going to quit but let me try something different. Let me revise it. Can I
go this way? Can I go that way? Can I show up with flowers and chocolate? Can I get my buddy to do
an introduction? Whatever you know. It’s not about stopping it's about okay this isn’t working, let’s
think of something else. Let’s reinvent and even something that does work for awhile
just like the market changes, just like the technology changes it’s like you know what?
It used to work, it’s not working now, try something different.
Film Courage: So being internal (an introvert), maybe needing quiet time, did that work for you
growing up in Houston? How did you turn that…like if you needed to turn on…and I’m just stereotyping
here…but the Southern charm and being sort of larger than life, which you do have that side to
you. I can see it, but how would you manifest that if you had to walk into a room and sort of own it?
Brad: If I know people, it’s easy. If I know some people, it’s easy. But
part of it is having generosity towards the other person. I think that
one of the things that I tell young people is if you approach a relationship, if you want a
meeting or you want to connect with somebody, do not approach it from what can they do for me.
I am going to ask them for a job. I am going to ask them to give me something. The best
way to approach it is to be like what can I give them. What do I have to offer and you don’t have
to be an experienced filmmaker. We are blessed with social media where we consider this person
likes going out on a boat, this person likes dogs, and that person likes to paint,
and this person maybe went to your school and this person is maybe friends with your uncle,
I don’t know? But we have the ability to do due diligence on people in a way that has
just never been possible before. I do that and I recommend that people do that and you go and you
do your homework and then they’re not a stranger you know because you find that think Ohhh! The
like comic books or their favorite movie is my favorite movie or they like the same band I like.
That takes a lot of the edge off of because the part of the fear is like I don’t know what to say?
But if you guys both like Doberman Pinschers, now you have something to talk about.
And it’s lovely for the other person because you know what all day long
they are getting calls oh give me a job. I want to be a PA, will you make my movie?
And they are like Oh? You want to talk about my dog? Here’s a picture of my dog. They are
so happy. And that’s the thing because you have to remember this is a business of relationships.
It’s not a business of parasites and prey you know? It’s your friends, you want to work
with your friends. You’re going to call your friends, you want to work with your friends.
Everybody likes hanging out with their friends and this is a business where you have the ability to
hire the people you like. It’s just like in your life. Think about that one friend who always asks
you for something. They always want you to come over to their house and do them a favor and buy
lunch and they never reciprocate. How excited are you to spend time with that person? But think
about the other person who calls you up and says Oh, there’s this new movie and you would LOVE it!
That’s the person you’re happy to hear from. So when I meet with people I try to be able
to offer that and also when I follow up and in social media I’m like Oh hey, here’s an
article I think you’ll like about butterflies, here’s a butterfly article. And it’s not just
a cynical thing because I think it’s cool that they like butterflies. That’s cool. So when I am
in a position of meeting people one of the things that that mindset precipitates is that it makes
you listen because you don't know what people want if you don't listen to them and a lot of
people will tell you that in meetings you don’t want to do a lot of talking. You want to listen
and then talk strategically and to the point. And so I think if you listen people are going
to tell you their story and they’re going to tell you what they need. And I’ve had that many
times where they are like Oh I was on this film shoot and there was this thing and I’m like oh
yeah. Well the next time you have that happen let me know because I know a guy. Or oh well let me
tell you what I did once in a similar situation and I think that’s again you're being friends.
I literally years ago stopped leading with my website. Like the most aggressive thing I will do
now is put it in my signature because if people are interested they’re going to look for it.
I reach out and talk to them about their Doberman Pinscher or their horse or their butterflies.
I mean that's how I build it or I compliment them like Oh that commercial you did was really
beautiful or or hey I am also friends with so and so. I've done lunches with people and we spend…and
this is somebody that yeah I’d love to work with them and we spend the whole lunch talking nothing
having remotely to do with film and as we’re getting up to leave they say “Send me your
work. I might have something coming up.” But how much more powerful is it for them to ask then for
me to be like Ohhh! Look at my stuff! Because they get that all day long and again you just
don't want to be that person. I don’t want…maybe somebody does but I don't want to be that person.
So that is how I handle it and also it takes the pressure off. I have nothing to prove,
I’m not selling anything, I’m not a salesman. I would be a horrible salesman. I’m pretty good
at being nice to people. I’m pretty good…I mean something I care a lot about is other people.
How can I help them? And again, maybe it's not even me maybe it’s like you should meet
this person. I’m really good about that just be a matchmaker of these two people need to meet
and sometimes it's obvious why they should meet and sometimes it's just like y’all have similar
personalities and I don't know what’s going to come of it but you should know each other so
that's my answer to your question as a shy person you know how do you go in there. I go in there
with a sense of generosity and relating as a human as opposed to a salesperson.
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