[title music]
Sarge: You know, with this time of year
we like to spread some holiday cheer.
So without further ado, here's a little song. From me, to you.
Lopez, hit it!
[singing] I'll have a red Christmas, without blues.
I'll be so red
without a Caboose.
Decorated soldiers in red,
On a green, Warthog jeep!
We'll kill the blues here, 'Cuz they're the enemy.
And when those red bullets
start flying, HA!
That's when those blue bastards, start dyin'. Hahahaha!
Blues will be dyin' alright, From my shotgun tonight! Yeah!
And I'll have a red, red Christmas. Red from your blood! Hahaha!
Lopez, initiate Command: Feliz Navidad.
Jingle bells, shotgun shells, Blasting all the way!
Oh what fun, it is to kill, A blue or two today! Hey!
Jingle bells, Grif sure smells, Blasting all the way!
I just killed a bunch of blues, using a grenade!
Driving through the Gulch, In a 2-seat open jeep,
O'er the blues we go, Laughing as they weep! Ha ha ha!
Bombing their blue base, Sending them sky high,
What fun it is to blow them up! Then watch the blue-tards fly!
Donut! Quit jingling your bells!
This next one's so good, you'll drop a Yule log! Heheh!
Now let's slow things down a bit.
Blue team roasting in an open fire.
Shotgun pointed at your nose.
You'll surely die, if you wear blue attire!
So don't dress up like red team's foes.
Everybody knows.
That Tucker's where my missiles go.
To make explosions nice and bright.
Tiny bombs with their timers aglow,
We'll make the blue team dead tonight.
They know that Sarge is on his way! That's me!
He's loaded lots of guns and bullets and grenades!
And every sniper scope is gonna spy.
To see if blue team really knows how to die! (They do!)
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase.
To Simmons, and Donut! And Grif too.
All blues should be dead, Many times, many ways!
Red team Christmas! Red team Christmas!
Red team Christmas! Big finish! Kill Blues.
Heheh, well roast my chestnuts. Next year, Church is gonna sing us something about a Dreidel.
Doc keeps talking about something called Kwanzaa.
I don't know what that is!
One of his yoga things...
Anyway, happy holidays, everyone!
Unless you're blue! Then burn in hell.