What do you think connects us the most?
And why do you think that is?
Like, there's like pieces of you inside of me now
and pieces of me inside of you.
And I feel that the way that we're able to like
go through experiences
and like kind of process in the same way,
and like acknowledge the way we respond to things
and that's kind of what ties us, you know?
Like I think it's just like a-
It's kind of hard to articulate it,
but I think it's just like something that goes beyond words.
- Yeah. - I guess. You know?
I just don't want you to forget
the way you made me feel.
Yeah. And how important that was for me.
It is for me.
Okay.
How do our different upbringings affect our relationship?
And why?
(laughs)
We gotta get like a whole different section for that.
- Yeah. It's like a 20-minute conversation.
Like because I was homeless, like most of my upbringing
and like I have so many siblings
and I was raised like in a split family.
Like my parents were never together.
I didn't meet my dad until I was 10.
And like, I've gone without food.
And like, just like the bare essentials, I guess.
If anything, like, I just feel like
it's like something that we constantly have to learn from.
Like, as far as like how we operate
and like how we like, talk to each other
or how we deal with like grievances
or like issues or arguments like-
Just like learning to love each other.
I feel like it's completely centered around who we were
and how we became who we are, I guess.
- Yeah.
Like I feel like on paper, I don't think we-
Like if we were to just like looking at something
I don't think you would expect it to be this easy, I guess.
- Yeah.
- Not even that it's always easy to just like
you would expect it to like, even be a thing.
Like I know that we fit into like a lot of different
like categories that the other doesn't fit into.
And I think that's like
it's probably just a testament to the fact
that we're able to be there for each other, you know?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- What do you think I need to hear and why?
- What do I think you need to hear and why?
I think
More people need to tell you how much you matter.
Tell like everyone in their lives.
You know, like I think that they are like,
I probably don't even say that enough myself.
I think you just need to hear that like
your worth is inherent
and like to everyone around, you know?
I think that sometimes I get that you're worried
that people are perceiving you negatively
and that maybe they want more out of you.
But I think that you surpass everyone
in your lives expectations,
and being there for your family
and like the people you love.
And I think you should just hear more often
that like you matter and that you're valid and you know.
(both laugh)
You're doing like, I don't know.
You're just doing really well.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Oh Okay. In what ways do you think mental health
has influenced our relationship?
- Oh, go on. (laughs)
I think it was our second year that we were together.
Like when I first went to therapy.
'Cause I was like the first time I had insurance
and like that was cool.
And it was like really validating and everything.
But like having to actively like acknowledge
and like work, like through like past like trauma,
like, you know.
Like sexual or like homelessness
and like not learning that I do have like PTSD
and like depression and like anxiety and all that.
Like clearly, like it affects me in a lot of ways
and influences me in a lot of ways.
So I feel like it must,
I mean it does influence our relationship.
- Yeah.
- And I know like you having like your ADHD medicine
and like you know, like your sleep medication and everything
I feel like it helps you operate a lot.
- Yeah.
- Like, I feel like it's an indicator
of how much we do love each other
because neither of us do pressure the other,
like, to be anything that they're not
or like to feel anything that they're not.
And like, I feel like we're taught,
we usually are pretty good at like
being there for each other like in that moment and like-
- Like through thick and thin?
- Yeah.
And like seeing each other for what we are,
regardless of like if we feel neuro-typical that day
or like not, you know? - Yeah.
- What do I do that makes you feel, I understand you?
- When I felt misunderstood
and you've taken the time to understand me.
And like, it's like a dialogue, you know
it's not just like me trying to force an understanding.
It's like, you like trying to get
like an understanding out of me, if that makes sense.
You know?
Like I think I feel understood
when you're making it very clear
that you're trying to understand.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I think it would be similar.
Like if anything, 'cause you know,
like when we first met, like, I was really like,
just because of like again,
because of my upbringing
and like because of my past relationships
or just in general.
Like I didn't feel like I had like enough intrinsic value
to be able to communicate.
Like especially like something that felt
like really personal like an emotion, I guess.
Like, I didn't think it was like even,
it needed to be a part of the conversation.
- Yeah.
- So I feel like when you do give me this face
and just let me know that like you want me like you're there
and you are interested in me communicating it when I can.
Yeah. That feels really nice.
(both laugh)
- That's something that I'm definitely still working on too.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- That's a work in progress - Yeah, you know we out here.
(both laugh)
How would our lives be different if we never met?
I'm gonna answer that real thing.
I'd probably be dead real quick.
(both laugh)
- Oh my God. Like when you joined-
Wait, were you-
No you weren't.
- No. I already got kicked out of the military.
- Okay. (both laugh)
How would our lives be different?
I feel like so different.
I really can't even imagine.
I could have never imagined like being with someone like you
and I feel like that can easily get misconstrued.
Like you're like an exception.
- Yeah.
- But like that's not what I mean at all.
I feel like, I mean like you're the rule,
like you are like there was nothing before there was you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I can't imagine meeting someone
who I wanted to be with
in the ways that I've always wanted to be with you.
And like, that felt as good as with you.
- I think, you know, like when we met
I didn't know what I was doing, you know?
(laughs) - Yeah.
- I had no idea what I was doing.
And I think that like being with you
and like I didn't know what I wanted to do
but I think like I was able to like see a future
with you in it when we met.
So I think that like knowing that like,
I wasn't able to really see a future for myself
before we met.
I don't think I'd be doing anything
like what I'd be doing right now, like with you in my life.
Like, I think that like you enabled me
and like helped me do so much more
than what I would've been able to do by myself.
- Yeah.
If this was our last conversation,
what is something you never want me to forget?
- Oh man.
I don't ever want you to forget
how important you are to me
and how much you matter to me
and everything you've done for me.
I don't want you to forget the like-
I just don't want you to forget the way you made me feel.
And yeah.
And how important that was for me, is for me.
- I don't know.
I feel like this love was like really, really cool
and like really lucky.
Like I feel like I used to make jokes
or like I sometimes make jokes about like how, I mean yeah.
Like you were my first boyfriend and we met when I was 19.
And like, of course, like the first monogamous relationship
like I settle into.
Like I wanna spend my life with you.
(laughs)
So like, I feel like that used to, I mean, it's funny to me
but it also like is, it just feels really, really lucky.
Like as corny as it sounds
like I don't think I would have wanted to have
like any other years without you.
Like, I feel really lucky that we were able to meet,
like when I was 19.
And like so I have so much more time with you
than I could have been down the line, I guess.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. And how special that feels.
- Yeah. That sounds very special.
Okay. Yeah. Cool.
- Can we high five?
- Yeah (claps)
(both laugh)
Should have been- (claps)
(both laugh)
All good
- I think we're good. - Yeah.
- Hey guys, Melanie again.
Thank you so much for watching
currently on the set of the end.
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