- Only you can prevent the spread of misinformation fires.
(upbeat music)
What up, though?
It's Chenizavizzle, and we're back to talk about
the unspoken guidelines of the internet, Netiquette.
How about we kick things off with a question?
"My mom says I'm too harsh online.
Am I doing something wrong?"
Yeah, you might be.
In the before times, back in the day when blogs ruled
and the media wasn't social,
a secret organization worked in the shadows
to develop a set of rules to follow online.
This organization known as
the Friends, Acquaintances and Kin of Electronics, or FAKE,
assembled these rules into a single slab
so it may be immortalized.
(laughing maniacally)
I'd like to present you
that very ancient relic of the internet.
Behold, the unspoken rules of the internet.
Yeah, these rules were passed down from server to server
since the first byte was sent across the globe.
They cover everything you need to know
to have good netiquette.
So put your phones down and listen to the first rule.
Know thy content.
A wise internet philosopher once twoke,
"The anonymity of the internet
has removed the fear of being-," wha-bam!
Punched in your face.
We all know people like to get online
and run their little Twitter fingers,
because being anonymous makes it easy to lie
and to say things about others
that you wouldn't normally say IRL.
Boy, we all know that Maserati ain't yours.
Quit taking selfies posin' next to it
and posting it on Tinder, you catfish.
We deal with the fallout of the spread of misinformation
on a daily basis.
So don't you be a part of the problem.
Do your research.
You could save yourself and others a whole lot of confusion.
On to our next rule. (fingers snapping)
Thou show only emoji when necessary.
If you got something important to say,
just spit it out already.
Shoot, ever since Apple added that emoji replace button
y'all seem to think it's okay to just talk an emojis.
Well, it's not.
Especially if you're trying to tell me something important.
This is not how you should be telling me
that your neighbor was stabbed to death.
It's okay to spice things up with an emoji.
Hey, toss in a winky face and a peach
when you're trying to be flirty.
Follow up an okay with thumbs up
when you're trying to be passive aggressive.
I like that.
Moving on to rule three. Thy memes must be jazzy fresh.
(jazzy music)
This rule is essential
and something that all of our moms
need to stop doing on Facebook.
That's why I got off Facebook. My mom's on there.
Stop posting stale memes. Get that impact font outta here.
It needs to be up to the minute if it's on my timeline.
Let's see, no troll faces, no top text/bottom text,
and absolutely nothing with the meme maker watermark
in the corner.
Give me the good stuff.
I mean the deep-fried contents from the depths of Reddit,
born from the trends and bathed in up votes.
Ooh, and anything with a dog in it, or even better, a fox.
I love it. Let's move on to our fourth rule.
Thou shall not call me, ever. Just don't, okay?
Whatever it is, just put it in a text.
I don't care how urgent it is.
What am I supposed to do? I'm on set, and in California.
If I get a phone call,
my first instinct is to block that number.
Don't you be calling me. It's 2023, not 1923.
(scoffing) We live in the future.
We can instantly beam our thoughts in a text message
from one side of the planet to another.
And you thought whatever it is you had to say
was too important for that? (scoffing)
Use speech to text if you really wanna hear yourself talk.
Hey, Antoine, comma,
why are you calling me, question mark, poopy face.
I am on set and you know this,
exclamation mark, exclamation mark, mad face.
If at this point in this video you're asking yourself,
aren't these just your rules for good netiquette, Chanae?
Then you need to be reminded
that this is my time and I'm reclaiming it.
So simmer down now and listen to our final rule.
Correct thy grammar. (the word grammar echoing)
Okay, so this one's a no-brainer.
Just do a scan before you hit send.
If I have to reread it more than twice
to understand what you're saying,
then you know good and well you shouldn't have sent it.
It's a generation thing too.
There are age cutoffs for emojis.
I'm talking to you, Grandma Emma.
No fire emojis in your text about dinner, okay?
I love you,
but you had me thinking the house was burning down.
I called 911 and everything.
It was fun to ride in that firetruck though.
Okay, sure, we can edit sent messages
on most messaging apps now,
but nothing is more suspicious
than seeing that little edited marker below a text.
If you're a speed texter and you can't help it,
then just take some time
to work with your autocorrect to improve it.
Open a new note
and write out some of your favorite words and phrases.
When autocorrect tries to replace it, slap it on a hand.
Or to be more precise, just hit that little X.
It should start to glob onto your texting patterns
and keep you from saying something embarrassing.
Although you can't always trust autocorrect,
it's nice to have when you've had a few drinks
and you're on a rolling group chat.
But, when you're sending a fast work email
you don't wanna end up with the wrong word ending in 'uck.
And I'm not talking about ducks, or trucks,
or that you still owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't forget.
And so concludes the rules of the internet.
(cat meowing)
Think your netiquette rules are better than mine?
I challenge you in the comments. Meet me there.
Or share some embarrassing autocorrect stories.
I know you have some.
Got questions about the internet you want answered?
Drop a comment and it won't hurt. I swear it won't.
Check us out on Twitter and Instagram too.
We'll be back next week with more answers to your questions.
(upbeat music)