[horn blowing]
Time for boating school. Let 'er rip, Gary.
What do you say, Mrs. Puff? Let's get this party started.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff, I know what I did wrong.
Don't worry, Mrs Puff, I got it this time.
No, SpongeBob, not again.
Oh. Oh, no, we're airborne!
It's a good thing too. One more crash
and you would've popped for sure.
Here, let me take that wheel.
No, SpongeBob, don't touch that- Oh, oh!
[laughing]
This is great! You and me in school together.
So where's the teacher?
You're looking at him.
You... are the teacher to my pupil?
This isn't art class, it's heaven.
Yeah. Grab a little piece of heaven
and let's get on with it.
I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles.
Okay, since you're telling me you have no prior training,
we'll have to start from square one.
Or should I say circle one?
[laughing]
Am I going too fast for ya, SpongeBob?
How's this, Squidward?
What the? How the? A perfect circle?
Do it again. Show your process.
Well, first I draw this head.
Then I erased some of the more detailed features.
And one, two, three, a circled, uh, thingy.
Give me that!
Forget the circles.
Ooh, nice one, Squidward. Let me try.
[laughing] Lookie, Squidward.
It's you and me playing Leapfrog.
That's you on the bottom.
Give me that.
There is nothing artistic about Leapfrog.
What are you doing now?
I call it Rippy Bits.
You take a bunch of old ripped up paper
and you make a new picture out of it.
See, you're on top this time.
Say, "cheese".
And here's the last one.
Now, just give a nice smile to the camera, SpongeBob.
Wait! Can I go home and change first?
No time. Say, "Cheese".
Ch-cheese, cheese, cheese.
Quit that moody brooding. This will clean you up.
Don't snivel like that. A winner doesn't snivel.
Try putting this on.
[crying]
This is it.
Now you are looking like a winner.
[honking]
[crying]
SpongeBob, please stop crying so he can take the picture.
Do not worry, Mrs. Puff. I brought Pearlie.
I can't stop crying!
This will make you smile, yeah, whether you want to or not.
Now say, "Cheese".
Cheese.
There I am.
Hey, I don't look so bad after all!
This Cadet SquarePants is your scooper,
the most vital weapon in the milkshakers' arsenal.
It's clear that most of you understand
the fundamentals.
Now it's time to see what you can do.
Cadets, man your milky, milky stations.
A few more bells and whistles than I'm used to
but I think I can work with this.
[beeping]
Oh dear.
Fantastic! Nice and creamy mouth feel.
[beeping]
SquarePants appears to be having problems again.
Duke, please explain where he has gone wrong.
Sir yes sir!
Sir, he is attempting to use
the upper control panel to mix, sir.
Every cadet knows these are telemetry functions
and that all blending controls are on the lower panel, sir.
Huh, that's right, how silly of me.
Mr. Krabs was right,
milkshaking sure has changed over the years.
Very good, but how does it taste?
Maybe we need to get back to basics.
[bell ringing]
Lunchtime, eh, boating buddy?
I'll have to eat over here, just like back in grade school.
Oh, Squidward,
You got any extra mustard in there?
[screaming]
Mmm, bon appétit, Squiddy.
[toilet flushing]
[groaning]
You've ruined my morning, you've ruined my lunch,
and you're ruining my--!
[groaning]
[bell ringing]
Okay, class, it's time for our behind the wheel lesson.
Squidward, you'll be riding with SpongeBob.
Yeah, I never saw that coming.
Now we're going to take this nice and slow.
SpongeBob, what do we do when pulling away from the curb?
Step on the gas.
Good, nice and easy. Now, let's slowly-
[screaming]
SpongeBob, look out!
SpongeBob, give me that wheel!
I got it! I got it!
Don't! Just, let go of it!
Oh!
Hooligans!
[screaming]
Do you want to learn how to drive or what?
Yes, sir! I'm ready to drive!
What do you think you're doing?
Ready for my test, sir.
You're not ready to drive yet until you learn that first.
This is the most grueling driving course ever devised.
You will learn every turn, bump, and crack on it.
You'll start out crawling it.
Crawl?
Hup two. Hup two. Hup two. Hup two.
Left turn. Crack. Bump. Nickel. Hey a nickel!
Keep your eyes on the road, cadet.
[gasping] PEBBLE!!
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa- whoa-whoa-whoa!
[screaming]
Wow!!
[screaming] Whoa!
[screaming]
Whew!
I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a wee pebble.
What are you supposed to be learning in my class?
How to drive, sir?
Affirmative.
But before you learn to drive, you must learn to crawl.
And then you learn to walk and then you learn to run.
But before you learn to walk, you must learn to crawl.
I want you to crawl!
Sir, yes, sir!!
Now get out there!
Hut! Hut!
Every good boater needs to know his vehicle inside and out.
Here, go take that boat apart.
I'm impressed, son. Put it back together again!
[laughing] Oh, that'll be easy.
Are you sure?
Um, yeah.
You just put the jig-a-mahoos on the poo-hicky and uhh...
I might need a couple minutes.
[snoring]
It's ready, sarge!
Jumpin' jellyfish!
In one day, I've gone from good noodle
to bad egg.
It's all stupid Patrick's fault.
I hate you, Patrick.
Well, I hate you more.
I'd hate you no matter what.
Yeah, well, I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.
I'd hate you even if, uh... mm, I'd hate you
even if the light bulb keeping Roger alive went out.
Huh?
I'm sorry I called you a stupid star!
I'm sorry I got you in trouble and got you moved to the back
of the class and got your good noodle star removed
and shot spitballs...
I'm sorry your apology is so long.
Me too, now let's save Roger!
I'll keep him warm and you get a light bulb
from the supply closet.
Light bulb!
But why does it have to be so far away?
[yodeling]
I'm coming, SpongeBob!
Oh, where's Patrick? Forget it, I've got to get Roger warmth!
The light bulb!
Without its warmth, Roger will die!
Roger!
Without him, the light bulb will have nothing to warm!
We did it, Patrick, we saved Roger's life!
Good job, boys.
I saw the whole thing
from behind my one-way chalkboard
and I couldn't be happier with your team work!
I've decided to give you each one gold star.
Okay, class, it's time to take our final exam.
Please have your pencils ready.
Pss. Hey, boating buddy, if you need any help,
I've taken this test hundreds of times.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I am not your buddy. I don't need your help.
And I don't need you. Ever!
Now, just kindly let me take this stupid test
so I can get out of here
and never have to see you again for the rest of my life.
Okay, Squidward, if that's the way you want it.
Thank you.
[groaning]
Um. Ha ha.
Three more minutes class.
SpongeBob.
SpongeBob, I need your help.
Two more minutes.
SpongeBob, please, this is important.
You said you didn't need my help, Squidward
and that you didn't need me.
No. No, I didn't. I never said that.
I don't need your help and I don't need you.
Jerk.
All right, I said it but that was before.
Before what?
Before... before...
One more minute, class.
Before we were... boating buddies.
Yay!
Okay, class, time's up. [bell ringing]
Time can't be up.
I didn't get a chance to fill in a single answer.
What am I supposed to do?
You do the same thing that everybody else does
who fails the test.
You take it again next week.
Next week?!
Don't worry, Squidward.
I've never gotten one answer right on this test,
but we'll meet again next week at Mrs. Puff's Boating School.
[bell ringing, Squidward screaming]