Hello. I'm Sammy.
We're doing some painting today. Do you want to join me?
Now, first you'll need a canvas.
So just grab some scrap paper
or anything else that's no longer useful.
I'm using this UN resolution condemning unilateral
invasions into sovereign states.
Just pop it up here on my easel.
And really tighten the screws.
Nice and redundant.
Now, to start with we're going to paint a shape.
So maybe I'll do a rectangle.
What's your favourite shape?
There we go, let's do a nice, clear border there.
Hmm. And now the fun part - we'll colour it in.
And what's the most important thing about colouring in?
That's right, staying inside the lines.
# Yellow for the ground
# Blue is for the sky
# Colouring is easy if you stay between the lines. #
It's like a Rothko. A little art joke.
Now, what else does our painting need?
Good idea. Let's do another shape.
Why don't we do a circle?
Nice and overbearing, here in the corner.
It's a little bit uncomfortably close, but that's OK.
And what colour should we do for our circle?
Why don't we do Soviet red? Nice and bold.
There we go. And remember to stay inside the li...
Oh, dear. I've crossed the border.
That's OK, we can fix this.
Why don't we turn this section into a grey area?
And how do we make grey?
Well, just take something that's black and white,
like a democratic country, and a tyrannical leader of a nuclear power
hell-bent on expanding his empire, and mix it together.
Does that look grey to you?
I think we'll get away with it.
Add a bit down the bottom too.
Hmm.
Looks a bit messy now, doesn't it?
Let's just redo the border. That will be OK.
# Redoing the border
# Painting nice and slow
# Don't worry if you make a mess
# We're making it up as we go. #
Yeah, the border's looking a bit blurry, isn't it?
I think we might have gone too far.
That's OK, we just need a strong colour
on the western side of our canvas to balance out that dominant red.
So which colours do you think best represent our west?
If we mix in some "belated sanction" yellow
with some "empty rhetoric" white
and some "should have seen this coming" brown, we get...
..disappointing beige.
That's OK, give it a go.
Hmm.
I don't think that's improved our painting.
Maybe we just need more red after all.
Give it a go.
Just...just...
Let's just get in there.
This is chaos.
I think I've overreached.
If only I'd stayed within the lines.
It's OK, I reckon we can still paint a better picture.
That looks better, doesn't it?
Now let's hang it up on the wall for the whole world to see.
Bye-bye.