In dating and relationships, a red flag is a small thing you notice
in someone else's behaviour, that's symptomatic of a bigger problem.
The trouble is that often times a red flag can be hard to pick up on
because red flags aren't only what someone does,
they can also be what they don't do.
And some red flags are certainly worse than others, so I want to start with the more mild ones
and move up from there.
Assuming you start with a blank white flag, at the lowest level we have red and white flags,
which are just small quirks or inconsistencies that aren't bad, just kinda wierd.
Things like: they don't lick the yogurt off the lid, they use internet explorer,
they hold the door open for you as soon as they see you park your car
or they are apologetic even if something is your fault.
Basically, if they can be explained with
"Oh, Canadian."
then it's probably in this category.
So let's get started on the serious stuff:
low tier red flags.
A low tier red flag is something that is probably bad, but not necessarily a complete deal breaker:
they don't laugh at your jokes,
Uhm, I thought this was just normal but they say if a girl doesn't laugh at your jokes
she probably isn't very compatible with you,
if a girl is really into you though, she will likely laugh at all of your jokes, even if they are not very good.
they have a secretive past,
this depends a lot on how communicative the person is
er, they might just be anxious about sharing personal details
but if they have no problem talking about anything and everything but their past
there is either something they don't want you to know
which is pretty bad
or they're a Russian spy
which is pretty hot.
er, putting you on a pedestal,
that is to say they think you're way out of their league,
this one is obviously more common for guys to do to girls
but it can go the other way around too,
imagine i was in bed with a girl,
just gonna let that sink in,
erm, imagine I was in bed with a girl
and she whispered
(Russian accent) "oh my god, casually explained
tell me again about how many subscribers you have"
(normal voice) of course, that would be a huge turn on and I have dreams about that
but it's probably going to be a pretty one-sided relationship.
think about how celebrities almost always date each other even though they could be with any fan they wanted.
(coughs)
err, they have the same last name as you,
that's a bad sign
...in most places.
alright, mid-tier red flags.
these are a bit more serious and are usually harder to overcome or talk about
tread very carefully if you notice any of these:
they're a stripper,
err, on paper, it might sound well and good but when it inevitably doesn't work out
you'll realise that from now on you can only pay for things by card
worth it.
they don't have any independence,
err, that is to say, that they have no interests or hobbies or ambitions in their life
it's likely they will try to involve themselves in every moment of your's
which will eventually wear you down and get in the way of your goals
kinda like reddit.
err, they trash talk their ex a lot early in the relationship,
this is usually an indicator they're still emotionally invested in their previous partner
and it can be very difficult to build a new relationship from the rubble of an old one
got that from tumblr.
err, using ultimatums,
these are saying things like " you have to do x or I am going to do y"
you have to watch out though because that's like me saying "if you don't subscribe, I am not going to be your friend"
which i would never say
...only think.
right next is high tier red flags:
these are the ones that are complete deal breakers and are pretty much always non-negotiable.
they're married
...unless you're into that.
err, they're already pregnant
...unless you're into that.
err, they're under eighteen...
this isn't just a red flag, it's a felony but if you do find yourself attracted to
girls who are still in high school
a great way to get over that is to talk to one of them.
err, they treat wait staff poorly,
I think being mean to people in general is a good sign
of how they are going to treat you in the future
and I know that'll be hard to deal with as my self-esteem is based on what other people think of me.
err, if you don't like their friends,
people tend to be friends with people similar to them
and if someone surrounds themselves with unsavoury individuals
tells you a lot about that person.
now after a long time eventually you might find
that after going on date after date or through relationship after relationship
even just after meeting a lot of new people you start to think
it really seems that pretty much everyone I meet has something wrong with them
they don't get me, they always have problems that they don't think are problems
like I can't connect with them at all and
why can't I find someone who's not such a disaster.
this is the maximum tier red flag
it's actually just you.
this might sound pretty bad but in a way
realising you might be a bit more responsible than you previously thought
is the first step towards becoming a more wholesome person
and having better relationships with other people
and if you have a friend who shared this video with you
that was the moment where you reflect on whether they thought you'll find it funny and interesting
or they were trying to passive aggressively tell you something.
(outro)