No. We can't start a video like that. All right.
Does it look like I'm wearing a janitorial suit?
A little bit, like fancy janitorial suit. This is the closest that I could get.
Fashion janitor. Oh. Fashion janitor.
Fashion janitorial. Today, we are talking about the post sex
cleanup. I've got to get myself a little costume closet for our YouTube videos now.
But this is the closest I could do. Or are you trying to say this would
not work well with bodily fluids? No, this is what I would wear to clean
up. The post-tax cleanup. All right.
All right. So let's face it. Sex is messy. When you have sex, at least when you're having good
sex, the limbs are flying around, things are getting hot and heavy, body fluids,
they're going all over the place. Right? So it's really easy to get wrapped up in the moment
and not really care or notice how messy things have gotten until you're finished. Or could be the
opposite for you. You might find yourself getting so focused on, oh, I don't want to make a mess.
And stuff's starting to happen that you really have a hard time enjoying yourself in the moment.
So we want to talk today about the mess. How much mess can you expect? Do you clean it up or do you
pretend that it just doesn't exist? How exactly do you clean up? Like what is necessary, what's
needed? So today we are getting into all the nitty gritty details of the post sex cleanup.
Because let's be honest, no one ever teaches you about this.
Exactly. These are some of our favorite kinds of topics to talk about because
who else goes into step-by-step details of how to clean up after sex?
Who else? We do? All right. So if you're brand new to our channel, then hi,
we're talking about messy sex today. We're Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa is a sex
therapist and we've been together for 13 years. And our account is all about giving you the tools,
tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the
bedroom and out. So please go ahead and hit that subscribe button. It really helps our channel out,
helps us grow, reach even more people, teach the masses how to do the post-sex cleanup.
All right. So let's get into it. First of all, we just want to normalize that sex
does require cleanup. And that is nothing at all to be ashamed of. I think with movies and stuff,
we have this idea of, oh, she jumps on top and 10 seconds later, they're lying in bed
having a cigarette. And that's. That's always bothered me so much.
I remember, the people always just roll over afterwards and they just lay back and relax.
And I remember when I first started having sex, I thought something was horribly wrong with me
because I could not do that. Like there were fluids dripping out. I had to jump up and run to
the bathroom. And I really remember thinking there was something so wrong with me because of that.
Yeah. I feel like every now and then in a movie or a TV show, they do show a sex scene that feels
a little more realistic and people freak out. They're like, oh my God, they showed them using a
Kleenex or something. So yeah, the reality is- Or what happens to the condom too. You just
roll over and leave the used condom on your rapidly deflating penis?
Yeah. So we're not recommending that. No, we're not.
All right. So, you are shooting fluids in and out of your bodies during sex. That's what sex is.
So of course some fluids are going to work their way out of your body and maybe onto the bed,
onto whatever, wherever you are having sex, things get messy. And especially
if you're having anal or period sex, or you're using lube, like there-
Or a heterosexual couple that's not using a condom.
It is an inevitability that bodily fluids will get somewhere.
All right. So we also want to say to you that there's nothing inherently gross or dirty about
bodily fluids. I think a lot of us get really freaked out about this. We hear about this a
lot when we talk about oral sex, but they're just bodily fluids. So like your saliva, it's normal.
Our bodies create these fluids. They're normal, they're natural. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Yeah. And I think most people really are into bodily fluids because they're
in the moment. It implies that things are sexy and things are happening. I think it's very easy
to get in our heads about, oh, well, my partner must hate it. And then all of a sudden it's this
downward spiral. Yeah.
All right. So you don't have to ruin the mood to clean up. It is possible to flip the
script and have cleanup actually be a sensual experience, which is what we're going to talk
about a little bit later in this video. All right. So let's talk about some healthy
post sex practices. So first one is to make sure that you pee right
afterwards. If you are a vulva owner. Something you never see in the movies.
Exactly. Yeah. So this helps to just flush out your system. It helps avoid UTI because
your urethra and your vaginal canal are very close together. It's really easy
for bacteria to get pushed up your urethra. So it's just a good idea to pee afterwards,
to flush it right out. We always get a bunch of questions about this. Like, well, what
if I've just done this, but not this? And what if it was just... All this stuff? Just pee.
What if we used a condom? What if we whatever? Just pee. It doesn't cost anything. It doesn't
take any energy. Just go pee. If you've had any sort of contact in this area,
just go pee afterwards, be on the safe side. You really have nothing to lose
other than the bodily fluid. Also, a lot of people will tell me,
well, I can't pee afterwards. And to that, I say, you need to be drinking more water, my friend.
Oh, interesting. All right. So what about other stuff, like lube? You can wash off
lube with a warm washcloth. Some lubes do need to be removed with a little soapy water. So
just make sure you are aware of what type of lube. Water-based lube comes off real easy.
Silicone-based lube may need some soap. And if you've used any sex toys, make sure
to properly clean them after every use. So your toy should come with cleaning instructions,
but you want to find some sort of antibacterial product that you can use or warm soap and water.
Just follow the instructions that are on your toy. But make sure you clean them after every use.
All right. So let's talk about a couple of products that can help make cleanup easier.
So first piece of advice, keep some tissues or reusable cloth wipes, or a wet wash cloth
nearby for easy cleanup. We like to just keep this on the bedside table. So it's not like,
oh, are we going to have sex? Okay, we better go get our cleaning supplies. It's like, this
is just part of your setup in your bedroom. Yeah. We've always used Kleenex. But we put a
question up on our Instagram channel. We ended up talking about it there. And a ton of people
said that they buy really nice reusable cloth wipes, sometimes ones that you use for babies,
cleaning up babies. But a lot of people said, it feels nice to have an actual cloth and a soft,
luxurious one. It makes it feel a little bit more special than Kleenex, which sometimes, let's face,
it can kind of stick to your body parts. Then you're picking off little bits of Kleenex. So
I just thought that was a cool idea of having these special cloths in your bedside table
that are just for cleanup. That makes it actually feel like a more luxurious kind of experience.
Yeah. So it's just important have that within arms length so that it is not an awkward thing of, oh,
we need to get up and get something. It can just be right there. And then yeah,
like Vanessa said, we have always used tissues. They are biodegradable.
However, reusable cloth can be an even more eco-friendly option. And like she was saying,
they can feel a little more luxurious too. So just make sure whatever you're using is soft.
Yeah. You want to be delicate on those delicate areas. Okay. So what do you do if you're the
kind of person who just gets so stressed out about the idea of making a mess, that you have a really
hard time just relaxing, enjoying yourself in the moment? If that's the case for you,
a simple thing that you can do is put down a towel or a sheet first, and that way, once you're done,
you just lift it right up, throw it right in the laundry or put it in the hamper. Sometimes
people get stressed out about their bedsheets and thinking, oh, I don't want to be sleeping
on this wet spot later, or I don't want it to leave a stain or something like that. So if you
have some sort of towel or an extra sheet, that can be a great way to just relieve some of that
anxiety and help you relax more in the moment. All right. So now if you're thinking, oh wait,
not the sheets. Not the sheets.
Then invest in a blanket. And then you say, no, not the sex blanket. Just kidding. Because sex
blankets are actually water resistant blankets that are designed to protect
your bedding from any unwanted fluid. So you can just search sex blankets online or on Amazon.
All right. We want to mention one last thing because we do get a lot of questions about it.
There are products that you can use. It's basically like a dipstick that if you're a vulva
owner, you can insert it up into yourself and it kind of sucks up all of the fluids. We definitely
do not recommend using tampons for this, but there is a special product. So if you really
want to do that, if you feel like that would help relieve some anxiety or just feel better for you,
go ahead and do it. We're just not going to name the specific brand because personally we don't
love it because it creates a lot of trash. There's already so much single use stuff out
there. And just having a ton of these in landfills and just not big fans of. But they are an option.
All right. We want to mention one last dynamic, which is that if you are a vulva owner
and you're having intercourse with a penis owner and you're not using a condom,
there is going to be leakage. Absolutely. So if semen, sperm are going up inside of you,
they are going to eventually come back out. That's how gravity works.
So just expect this. A lot of people don't know to expect this and they get really concerned about,
what's going on, is something wrong with my body? So it's totally normal. It can take hours for it
to come out. Sometimes it can even be the next day that it's coming out. So expect this. If it
really bothers you, you can always wear a panty liner or you can insert a menstrual cup. Again,
we don't recommend tampons for this reason, but those are a couple of other things that you can do
if it really bothers you. But if it doesn't bother you, just let it come out when it comes out.
All right. So let's talk about a couple of ways to make cleanup actually fun and even, dare I say,
sexy. So you can take turns cleaning each other off with warm washcloths. Maybe one time you do
it. And then the next time your partner does it. You can make a ritual around the cleanup.
Like maybe one partner goes to get the cleanup materials and then the other partner stays in bed.
Or maybe you take turns wiping each other down. Yeah. We heard from our community on Instagram,
a lot of people said that they have a nice ritual around this and it sounded really sweet.
One woman, I think, said, my partner, he'll get up and get the warm wash cloths and he comes back and
wipes me down. And it's not a like, oh, gross, let me clean this up. It's like a continuing to touch
and embrace and be sensual with each other. Yeah. Continuing the intimacy.
Yeah. So why not use the cleanup as an opportunity to continue the intimacy? Another option is to
take a shower or a bath together. So I just want to be super careful in saying, you don't have to
take a shower or a bath to clean up because you're so messy and filthy, and this is disgusting.
Yeah, no. Not at all. But yeah, it can be, again, just
another intimacy builder, that you get in the warm water together, you're cuddling, you're snuggling.
So you don't have to do that every time. But maybe once in a while, that could be a fun way.
Also, we just want to throw out there that after cleanup, that does not mean that the
intimacy has to be over. I think a lot of people think, oh, well, once we've rolled over and grab
those Kleenex or the washcloth or whatever, it's all over. You can continue to be intimate
with each other, even if you just come back together in bed for some kisses or snuggles.
All right. So that wraps up our video on cleaning up after sex.
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word for word scripts that you can just copy, and it'll really help you start talking about
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description box down below. Thanks for watching.