( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YEAH!
YEAH!
TAKE THAT!
I'M EXHAUSTED!
I'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR THREE MINUTES.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDY LEGEND AND THE SUBJECT OF THE NEW
DOCUMENTARY, "ROBERT KLEIN STILL CAN'T STOP HIS LEG".
>> THIS IDEA OF THE CRAFT OF DECONSTRUCTING YOUR EXPERIENCE.
>> JUST WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.
HOW ARE THESE?
I KILL YOU!
EVIDENTLY, FROM A LEOPARD.
YOU'VE GOT BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS, MAN.
A PING-PONG DISPLAY WITH THE SODA, BECAUSE IT'S NATURAL.
I THINK SODA, PING-PONG.
SODA-PING-PONG.
PADDLES ARE BY THE LAXATIVES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
ROBERT KLEIN!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> PRETTY STUPID OLD MAN THERE IN THE SUPERMARKET, DON'T YOU
THINK?
>> Stephen: NAH, EXPLORING.
HE'S EXPLORING.
>> IT WAS A WILD THING TO SEE ME THE SUBJECT OF ONE OF THOSE
THINGS.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN THE SUBJECT OF A
DOCUMENTARY BEFORE?
>> NEVER.
WELL, ON NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC ONCE --
>> Stephen: TOPLESS.
>> THAT'S WHERE MY FIRST-- MY FIRST PORNOGRAPHY WAS WATCHING
THE TRIBESWOMAN OF THE BOBUTU TRIBE.
>> Stephen: YOU AND I HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON.
WE'RE BOTH FROM SECOND CITY IN CHICAGO.
>> YES, SIR.
BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
WHEN I WAS COMING UP THERE THERE WAS A BIG PHOTO OF YOU ON THE
WALL WITH FRED WILLARD.
>> 52 YEARS AGO, MARCH, '65, THE GREAT FRED WILLARD AND I
REPORTED FOR WORK IN CHICAGO AT SECOND CITY.
A LONG TIME.
AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED!
>> Stephen: NO, THE BUILDING IS EXACTLY THE SAME.
>> YEAH, I MEAN-- WELL, TELEVISION HAS CHANGED.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE BEEN 50 YEARS OF TELEVISION NOW
YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS.
>> I FIRST DID "THE TONIGHT SHOW" IN JANUARY OF '68.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> EVERY WORD WAS PARSED.
>> Stephen: JOHNNY WAS STILL IN NEW YORK AT THE TIME, RIGHT?
>> JOHNNY WAS IN NEW YORK.
BUT THEN I-- I DID A PILOT IN 1975 AT CBS, AND THEY USED TO
CALL-- THE CENSOR PEOPLE THEY CALLED THEM "COPT NEWTY
ACCEPTANCE."
AND WE KNEW WE COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING RISQUE.
EVERY SINGLE WORD.
SO WE TRIED TO BE SMART-- IT WAS A HALF HOUR MONTY PYTHON, AND
PETER BOIL, MADELINE KAHN WERE MY GUEST STARS.
THE GREATEST, RIGHT?
( APPLAUSE ) WE BORROWED-- "SEX FOR
TELEVISION."
AND WE BORROWED SOME FILM FROM THE U.C.L.A. BIOLOGY DEPARTMENT
OF PARAMESSIA REPRODUCING.
REMEMBER FROM BIO?
THEY JUST SEPARATE LIKE THAT.
WHEN THERE WAS ONE, THERE'S NOW TWO.
THERE'S NO SEX.
THEY'RE A-SEXUAL.
UNDERNEATH IT I SANG ♪ ♪ ♪
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT THIS ALL IS LEADING TO
♪ I WANT TO MAKE IT-- >> AND THEN I THINK ONE
PARAMECIUM ASKED THE OTHER AT THE END IF IT WANTED A
CIGARETTE.
BUT WE GET A LETTER FROM CONTINUITY ACCEPTANCE.
"THE SEXUAL INNUENDO IS OBVIOUS.
IT'S PRIEWRIENT, IT'S OF PRURIENT INTEREST."
AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, THIS WOULD BE AN ODD FETISH.
"I LOVE TO WATCH PARAMEESIA REPRODUCING, BABY.
I LOVE THEM WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG AND WET AND WILD, TWO SECONDS
OLD.
I HATE THEM WHEN THEY'RE OVER THE HILL.
A MINUTE!" THIS IS WHAT WE HAD TO COPE
WITH.
TODAY -- >> Stephen: DIFFERENT.
>> DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: I SHOWED DONALD TRUMP'S BUTT TONIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> WHERE WAS THAT LOCATED?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS ) >> OH, I-- NO, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I DID THE FIRST HBO SPECIAL EVER.
THAT WAS A BIG BREAKTHROUGH IN 1975.
LANGUAGE, OR WHATEVER ELSE.
I'M NOT PARTICULARLY BLUE.
BUT WE'RE ADULTS.
BUT SOMETHING LIKE "THE SOPRANOS" I MEAN, THAT'S THE WAY
THOSE PEOPLE SPOKE.
THAT WAS A MASTERPIECE, AND IT WAS FULL OF PROFANITY.
BUT HAVE YOU SEEN IT ON'S&E, WHERE IT'S SANITIZED.
INSTEAD OF THE "F" WORD THEY USE THE WORD "FORGET."
"FORGET YOU, YOU MOTHER FORGETTER!
"FORGET YOU!" "OH, YEAH?
FORGET YOU!" THERE'S A LOT OF DEMENTIA ON THE
A & E.
AND WHEN THEY GIVE SOMEONE THE FINGER, THEY BLUR IT OUT.
LIKE, SUDDENLY, GEE, I WONDER WHY THEY'RE BLURRING OUT THE
MIDDLE FINGER.
I MEAN I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT PROFANITY EVERY OTHER WORD.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: I DO.
>> BUT WHEN IT'S A SUBSTITUTE FOR WIT, BUT PROFANITY SHOULD BE
USED APTLY WHEN IT'S THE RIGHT WORD.
>> Stephen: ECONOMICALLY.
>> HOW ARE YOU-- HOW DID SOUTH CAROLINA PRODUCE BOTH YOU AND
STROM THURMOND?
THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO (BLEEP) IDEA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WAS THAT APPROPRIATE?
>> WHERE'S CONTINUITY ACCEPTANCE?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: ROBERT KLEIN, IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU, THANKS
FOR BEING HERE.
"ROBERT KLEIN STILL CAN'T STOP HIS LEG" IS AVAILABLE ON THE
STARZ APP TODAY.
GO GET IT!
ROBERT KLEIN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.