Hi guys. Welcome back to my channel. Today, I wanted to sit down and share with you my top
tips for raising boys. As some of you will know, I have three gorgeous sons. I have a 10-year old,
a seven-year old, and a four-year old as well, and I'm often getting asked
what it's like to live in a house full of boys. So, I thought I would share with you my tips and
kind of the things I wish I'd known. But, I will say straight from the elf that I'm
not a fan of gender stereotyping. So, of course, some of the tips I'm going to share in the video
do also apply to girls. This is just speaking from my experience as a mom of boys, because that's
all the experience that I have. But anyway, with all that said, let's get into the tips.
And that is actually my first tip, I think, it's really helpful to let go of gender stereotyping
right from the beginning, because then it leaves your child free to become whoever they want to be.
Just because you have a boy doesn't mean that they can't play with dolls, or doesn't mean
they can't play fancy dress or dress up, because all children love role play and you should just
encourage their interests, whatever they are. I've been surprised in the past by comments
on this channel. I think a couple of years ago, Jackson's main Christmas present was a doll house
and little dolls. But, he has always really been into playing with little characters and
talking them to each other. I just knew that he would love a house. So, I just bought him that.
Didn't bat an eyelid at it. But I had so many comments about the fact that we had done that.
And I remember when my eldest was a child, every time we went to a playgroup,
he would find a buggy, and he would just run up and down with a buggy the entire time. So,
I bought him his own little baby buggy and a doll to go in it. And I remember even Matt kind
of looking at it a bit sideways. But then I said to Matt, well, who does he see pushing a buggy?
He sees Matt pushing a buggy. It was almost like he's just trying to be like his dad.
And to be honest, it had wheels as well, and he was really into everything to do with cars. So,
I think there was that element to it as well. We're in 2021. If your child can't put a
dress on during fancy dress, or they can't play with a doll house or stuff like that,
I just think it's completely crazy. Personally, I feel like we should just encourage our children
to do more of what they're interested in. If your son happens to be interested in fashion,
or dancing, or gymnastics, it really doesn't matter in my mind, as long as they're happy.
My next step is give them lots of exercise. I often joke on this channel that my boys
need daily walks a bit like dogs, because they have so much energy to burn off. And of course,
girls need exercise as well, but apparently there is something in
the genetic makeup of boys which makes them need to burn off more energy. So, I find that
getting the kids outside fixes so many things. You might notice on my blogs that in the morning,
I try to get the kids out to the park, run them around, because it just makes them more calm
in the afternoon. It also makes bedtime goes smoother. And, we recently bought a trampoline
for our garden and it just made a huge difference, because if they're ever feeling like they need
to run around, they can just jump on that and burn off loads of energy. So, my tip to you is,
if things are ever getting tough at home, take it outside and, yeah, they need a daily walk.
And my next tip is to encourage safe rough and tumble, and this is a tip that I learned
from the book, Raising Boys. I'll link it in the description and I'll also link the audio
book version as well, because that's what I did. I actually listened to the book. My
friend recommended it to me and I found it very insightful, because with my first son, when he
was four or five years old, he got really into superheroes. And I'd never bought him a toy gun.
I'd never let him watch anything violent. But, all of a sudden he would pick up a stick and it would
be a sword, and he would want to fight. He got really into Spider-Man and Superman and wrestling.
But, in that book, it says that when boys get to the age of about four years old, so right
before they go off to school, they have a surge in testosterone. And it's almost like in them to
need to release this physical aggression. So, you almost want to find safe ways for them to do it,
whether it's rough and tumble, or wrestling with daddy, or they take up a sport, or like my boys,
they actually will rough and tumble together. They almost need a way to get that out in a safe way.
And also apparently, they get another surge of testosterone right before puberty. At that age,
it's actually quite good if they're into a sport, whether it be a team sport or an
individual sport, it can really help with that surge of testosterone. And I really do remember
all of my boys at the age of four, just becoming a bit more boisterous.
And it also said in that book that sometimes rough and tumble is a way of showing love. So,
with the three boys, if they're rolling around on the floor,
I will look at them because it looks like wrestling, but if I actually look at it,
it kind of is like they're having a cuddle on the floor almost. But it said in that,
that it's actually a way of them showing affection sometimes. So, I try to let them do that. If
nobody's getting hurt, I just leave them to it. And my next tip is a big one. It is to
encourage emotions. Little boys have just as many emotions as little girls do,
and they need to feel free to express those emotions. So, we avoid saying things like, man up.
Boys don't cry. Don't be a girl about it. If they're showing emotion, I want the boys to be
able to express themselves, to feel like it's okay to cry, it's okay to reach out, it's okay to be
vulnerable. I know firsthand the effects that mental health issues can have on men later in
life. And, actually, the number one killer of men under the age of 45 is suicide. I don't want to be
like dark about it, but it's a fact. We need men and boys to get better at showing their emotions,
reaching out for help, so that is something that I am trying to do with my three boys.
My next step is to teach kindness, sensitivity, and humility. This is probably something you do
already, but our boys are so lucky and every opportunity we get, we try to teach them just
how fortunate they are, and how important it is to stay humble. And I feel like there is sometimes
a gender stereotype that girls are naturally more sensitive and they're naturally more caring. But,
in my experience, our boys are so loving. They're so caring towards each other.
Every chance that I get, if they show kindness or they share, we really try and praise that.
And my next tip is to show your son or daughter positive male role models. This is so important,
because children model the behavior that they see. They're literally little reflections of
us. If you've ever heard something come out of your child's mouth, and think that's what I say,
it's because they mirror what we do. So, if you can surround your child with some
amazing men who show their emotion, who don't have a temper, who handle conflict very well,
that's going to be a very good thing. And there is also a whole chapter in that Raising Boys book
about role models and how, when your child gets to a teenager age, you almost want to help them
choose a role model that's not you, because as parents we know nothing. But, they will respect
maybe another role model. You almost want to help choose that, if they have an older cousin who you
respect and et cetera. Anyway, read that chapter. Yes, so those are all the tips that I wanted to
share with you today. But, I also wanted to say that sometimes being a mum to all boys can be met
with some strange comments. When I tell people that I have three boys, or that I have all boys,
I'm sometimes met with this instant respect, or they think I'm hard or strong
because I cope with all these crazy boys. But in reality, for the most part, the boys are
very calm and loving and caring. Jackson's the most chilled out person in the world.
And, we also get so many comments when we're on vacation together as a family.
If I'm walking along with the three boys and we ever meet anyone, we get so many comments like,
oh, you have to have a fourth because you need to have a girl. Didn't you want a girl? Like,
you can choose in some way or something. And also, I'll never forget on vacation,
we went out for dinner and the waitress walked over. She looked at all the boys around the table
and she went, "Girl, all boys? You need to change the position." I was just like, what?
So, we do get so many comments like that. And I think if I wasn't a mom to all boys,
maybe those are even the type of city comments that would come out of my mouth, but my boys are
right there. They can hear all this, and I worry that it makes them feel less important, like a
girl would make me happy or something. So, just think twice if you do make comments like that,
they're not helpful. Fraser did actually ask me if I would like a girl, because he's heard so many
comments like that. And it just breaks my heart, because they're the most important people to me,
and I couldn't care less what gender they are. Anyway, I just wanted to leave that with you. I'm
sure that mums of all girls get that as well, get the boy question all the time. But anyway, I hope
you liked this video. I hope you found it helpful, and I'll see you in my next one. Bye, guys.