How can I have a growth mindset and avoid negative thinking traps?
Hi! I'm Dr. Paul Jenkins. I have been doing this professionally now as a psychologist for almost
three decades. And I've got some ideas that are going to make an immediate difference for you, as
I share five of the most common negative thinking traps. And specifically, what you can do about each
one. Thinking trap number one, believing what we think. Wait, how is this a trap? Notice this for
just a minute. We know that we're right. Oh, it's not that we think that we're right. We know we're right.
And it has us showing up in some pretty terrible ways. And also creates a trap for us when it comes
to negative thinking. I was interviewing Dr. Richard Nisbet on my Podcast, Live On Purpose Radio. He's
the author of a book called Thinking, which was endorsed by Malcolm Gladwell. This guy knows his
material. He has studied thinking and reasoning for his entire career. And as I'm interviewing Dr.
Nisbet, he said this. He said the number one error that we make as human beings is that we believe
what we think. Just because you think it does not make it true. It just means that that's what you're
used to thinking for whatever reasons. So, what can we do about this particular thinking trap?
Humility. Now, I'm defining humility as giving up our need to be right in exchange for being
open. One of my other Podcast guests Brett Williams wrote a book called you can be right or you can be
married. And I always chuckle a little bit at that title because it speaks to this very issue. Once
we settle in on knowing that we're right, everybody else is by definition wrong. So, as we give up that
need to be right in exchange for being open, it creates a much more conducive mindset for growth
and development. It's an amazing process humility. Trap number two, thinking I can't. There's a couple
of problems with this particular trap. First of all, you don't know. Usually when we say I can't
we're revealing that we haven't yet or that we don't know how. But we don't know if we can or
if we can't typically. The other problem with this is it's kind of like a power switch on the brain.
If you can picture just you know, like a light switch, a power switch on your brain itself, and
it's got an on position and an off position. When we think I can't. What position is the switch in?
Yeah, off shut her down. What's the next step after I can't? There's not one. I think we just
curl up in a corner somewhere. So, there's some inherent problems and traps with thinking I
can't. alright, so, what's the antidote? How about we switch out I can't for how can I?
How can I? Let's use a couple of examples here so that you can see it. I can't afford it. Okay, well,
that means you're probably not going to take it any steps farther than that, right? Switch that out.
How can I afford it? Ooh... Did you see what just shifted in your mind and the energy with which
you've come toward that? Now we've got the power switch turned on. Now our brain, our loyal brain
is looking for ways that it can go out there and figure out how to afford it. I can't do this thing.
How can I do this thing? Do you see? Same results. Switch out I can't for how can I. Trap number three,
is thinking that our circumstances are extraordinary. Are you guilty of this one
too? I am all the time. In fact, this is one of the common thinking errors or traps that gets
people stuck in negativity. Extreme does not equal extraordinary. In fact, that's the remedy for this
particular thinking trap. Extreme does not equal extraordinary. Think about it. What that means is
even though your circumstances may be extreme. I remember when I was going through my bankruptcy,
that's a pretty extreme circumstance. But it's not extraordinary. Meaning, a lot of people go through
a bankruptcy. I'm not the first, I will not be the last, and it's the same with yours. Now, you might
look around your immediate environment and not see anyone who's going through the same thing
that you are. But I guarantee that it's not new to the species. Whatever it is you're going through
is not about you. It's a common experience to humankind. And you can always find someone else
who has a little better or a little worse than you do. So, when we find ourselves thinking that our
circumstances are extraordinary. Remember, extreme does not equal extraordinary, and it'll help you
to avoid that particular thinking trap. I got two more of these thinking traps to share with you.
But before we do that, I want you to think about that person that came to your mind as you were
watching this video that you think could benefit from hearing this. Will you take a moment to click
the share button down below and find a way to get it into their hands. Now, let's look at that fourth
thinking trap. Negative predictions. Just notice this. You are constantly predicting. What's going
to happen. What's coming next. What will be the outcome. And notice this. You don't know.
You don't know what's coming. How you doing next week? You don't know. But you've got something to
do with it. And please don't forget that part. You don't know. So, whatever you're predicting is simply
an imagination. You're coming up with a guess based on whatever information you have or don't have.
This is what the human brain does. And I have to acknowledge here. Why do we often predict negative
things to come instead of positive things to come? Well, that one's easy. It's because of gravity.
Have you ever parked your car on a hill and left the break-off? Which direction does it roll? You never
hear of someone falling up. Default is down. That's true in our psychology too. And if we don't steer
it on purpose in a positive direction. It's going to roll downhill. So, the thinking trap is negative
prediction. As you realize that you don't know. Realize next that you are choosing a position.
What if you chose a position that serves you well? That's the solution to this particular trap that
causes our negative thinking. Realize that you have some choice and then choose a position that serves
you best. The final trap that I wanted to share with you today is thinking that pain, discomfort,
discontent is bad. It's not. When you understand where discontent fits in a creation process. It
makes a whole lot more sense. Discontent is the starting point for all creation. I was having a
conversation with Earn Burn. Mr. Ernie Harker who is an amazing public speaker and trainer. He's a
branding expert. And we were at the airport in Nashville after a conference we had both
attended. And he said Dr. Paul, why am I always so unhappy? As I got to talking with him, I realized he
wasn't describing unhappiness. He was describing discontent. And it helped Ernie to see at that
point that his discontent is simply there because he's a powerful creator. Creators can always see
something that needs a little work or that could use a little upgrade. Because that tells us what
to go create. It was so fun to see the lights go on for Earn Burn as he realized. I'm not unhappy.
I'm a creator. And creators have to experience discontent. Just putting that little spin on it.
Helped him to experience more peace and joy in his life while still experiencing discontent. Look, you
are a creator, your very divine nature. Means that you are a creator. It's what we humans do. And to
know what to create. You have to experience pain, discomfort, discontent, part of the deal. I hope
you found this video helpful to get to the root of some of the traps of thinking that can get
us stuck. I go into more detail in all of these in my book, Pathological Positivity. I'm going to give
you a free copy of this book. Does that sound good to you? I'll pay for the book, you pay for
the shipping. I'll put it right in your inbox. Go to drpauljenkins.com/freebook and this is on its way.