How to be elegant without being boring?
Well, what does even boring has to do with elegance?
I know there's a lot of misconceptions and probably there's an outdated
stereotype to what elegance actually is.
We probably look back in the decades behind us and look how elegance
used to be looked upon. Women are not really like that today and I think,
it's important for us to adapt to the modern world,
which is why I teach modern elegance on my channel.
But for those of you who are new to me,
my name is Anna and I run an elite finishing school.
I teach ladies modern elegance in their personal presence and lifestyle.
If you want to join us for the transformation visit
www.SchoolofAffluence.com
One of the things that I've noticed that people tend to connect elegance to old fashion.
They think that if you dress elegantly,
you immediately dressing very old fashioned. And ladies,
that is so far from the truth.
The truth is that you actually have many different style personalities in fashion.
There isn't just one way of dressing elegantly.
You can dress elegantly many different ways. You can have your unique style,
you can express your personality through fashion.
You don't have to dress conservative and kind of classic elegance,
which is usually what people think about when they refer to an elegant wardrobe.
Another misconception that I've noticed is that people tend to think that
you have to have a very particular elegant personality,
if you're even going to be qualified as an elegant lady.
Meaning that you might have to appear a little bit stiff,
a little bit snobbish maybe, or boring.
There are a lot of also negative connotation to
what an elegant personality is,
which I really want to bust that myth once and for all.
Because we live in the modern society,
women have evolved and society has also evolved,
not always to the good.
But there are actually some positive things and those are
the women are actually
allowed to have a personality today and to have big personalities,
to be flamboyant, to be outspoken,
to have humor and all of those great things that we should really make use of
I would never want you to suffocate your personality and restrain
yourself of being who you really are. Instead,
what I encourage women in my elite finishing school is to reduce the bad
habits that are holding them back,
the things in their personalities that are not serving them.
Those are the things we want to remove.
We don't want to remove our personalities.
We don't want to become somebody we're not.
We want to become the best version of ourselves, but it's really,
really important that you let your personality flourish and never diminish it.
Because when you are truly your best self,
that's when you have a magnetic presence.
That's what's going to bring you success on this journey in all aspects of your life,
but in particularly on your goals. Another interesting thing,
a lot of people think that if you are going to be an elegant lady,
then you have to act with picture perfect etiquette skills 24/7.
And God forbid if you do anything wrong,
then you are a tacky woman and shame on you.
You know, I'm not a big fan of women shaming.
So I also want you to understand that it's not good or healthy to
be obsessed. To think that to be an elegant woman,
you have to be a picture perfect.
Perfection does not exist and humans are not perfect,
and humans are not supposed to be robots either.
So I don't want you to restrict yourself.
I want you to learn a certain rules and protocols of society that will
benefit you on your journey in society, so you can adapt,
so that you can show consideration to other people,
so that you can blend in and feel at home,
and feel confident around certain communities.
That's what etiquette skills are there for.
But does that mean that you can never let your hair down,
that you always have to be thinking about every single move that you do? No.
And this actually brings me to the next point,
which I really wanted to talk to you about. Obsession.
A lot of women in my community because they seek out the elegant lifestyle and
they are very serious about doing the transformation. And I truly admire that.
You are my best community members because
you take action and I love people who take action.
But what becomes a bit problematic is when things turn into an obsession
where people are very worried if this is elegant, this is not elegant.
I am afraid of doing an elegance mistake and it becomes unnatural.
Elegance is a mindset.
Elegance is a way of living because you want to respect yourself.
You want to elevate yourself, your energy self, your mental self,
your emotional self.
You want to elevate your whole existence to the next level and elegance
help you achieve that. On my channel, I give you guidelines. In all my work,
I'm offering you guidelines so that you can use it as tools to feel better
of yourself, to empower yourself.
If I tell you to drink from a glass instead of straight from
a one and a half liter water bottle,
then that's not because you're a tacky person if you do that.
That's because you are going to feel better about yourself.
You feel like you're respecting yourself,
adding a small better habit to your everyday life that just makes you
feel good. And the same goes, for instance,
you can go travel in an airplane in whatever clothing you want.
But I recommend that you dress appropriately,
that you may be do not wear your yoga pants or your ugliest clothing
because you are not going to feel good about yourself.
Maybe yoga pants feels comfortable for you,
but my mission here is to give you alternative ways.
You can actually look elegant while still being comfortable in an airplane where
you actually feel like a million dollars,
instead of feeling like you're just hitting the gym.
So don't turn elegance into a cult or obsession.
We are here to create healthy habits, sustainable habits, but most importantly,
we are doing this for ourselves and for our own progress and
personal development. Because fine-tuning all these small,
even nonsense things like drinking from a glass or wearing yoga pants or not.
All of those things adds up to a bigger picture to how we look at ourselves,
to how we position ourselves,
to the expectations that we set over ourselves.
Because we know what we deserve and we know how we want to be treated.
You are free to create your own version of elegance.
The most important is that you feel elegant,
not what's elegance was back in the days.
Now, another thing that elegance perhaps used to be back in the days.
I know we still have that today, unfortunately.
A common misconception is that elegant women
are like Virgin Marys. They're very asexual,
they have probably never even had sex and
God forbid if they would even kiss a boy, and things like that.
But I do talk about femininity on my channel and that's how an elegant woman
actually transmits her sexual energy, through femininity.
I don't really fully agree that a woman shouldn't be wearing a
short skirt,
a tight fitted dress that shows everything and she should be labeled as
an easy woman, a provocative woman as a result.
Deep down, I don't support that.
I think that's absolutely wrong. And for instance, as an example on my channel,
I would tell you exactly how it is. Ladies,
cover yourself up in certain places because that is going to help you achieve
your goals and create a better life for yourself,
rather than having to undress for the public.
We can become a woman who says, you know what,
I'm not going to care what people think about me.
I'm going to dress whatever I want and that's fine.
But one of the things we have to then understand is that there will be
consequences for that because of the social expectations.
And it's not a rule that I have created and it's not necessarily a rule that
I support, but it's sadly a rule that exists today.
So it's important that we think about it and then decide what choice are
we going to make and what direction are we going to take.
I know that women are not very much encouraged in 2020 still
to actually be their sexual self. But on the contrary,
I think also men are not really encouraged to be their sexual self.
I think sex is one of those things that it would be nice if it's a little bit private.
I think there are more tasteful ways of how to bring out the sexual energy in
both men and women. For instance, with women,
I think instead of putting everything on display and going
towards the vulgarity, it's nicer to add a feminine touch.
You know that little taste.
that there's something more hiding behind that facade.
It's nice to give a little tease. It's nice to give a little flavor,
but it's not really nice to give the whole buffet whether you are a man or a woman.
But should you be a Virgin Mary? Should you be a little miss proper?
No, of course not.
Connect with your own sexual energy as a woman.
I think the easiest way to do so is through femininity,
which is why I have it as one of my core values in my elite finishing school and
all the free materials that I teach in my paid materials.
Everything that I touch on always has femininity in the back of my mind.
Now, lastly, one of the things that a lot of women are still so unsure of,
can I become an elegant woman even though I don't have a lot of money,
even though my parents are embarrassing,
I was not born into a rich family or an elegant family,
the people I spend time with are not elegant, whatsoever?
My surroundings are not elegant or things like that.
And you have to understand that elegance is not tied to economy,
backgrounds, race, who you are, where you live, how you look like.
None of that matters because everybody can achieve elegance in their everyday life,
wherever they are, whoever they are.
Because all it takes is to adjust those small things that elevate you,
that makes you feel empowered, that makes you feel good about yourself,
that feels like you're taking yourself to the next level.
You're working on yourself. I think those are the qualities to achieve elegance.
And anybody can do that regardless of budget. Surely a full blown,
elegant life is oftentimes an affluent life that requires some finances.
But there are so many other variations to an elegant life.
And this is why I really want you to encourage to create your own elegant recipe.
What do you want to add to the mix?
You don't have to go full advanced mode yet, if you're not ready for it.
Just focus on becoming the best elegant version of yourself.
And I'm pretty sure,
you are going to feel empowered and blossomed to your fullest potential as a result.
Now, ladies, I want us to continue the conversation
in my next video where I actually dig
more deeper into the subject, When Elegance Has Gone Wrong.
Because there are many ways how we can get it wrong,
and these were just some of the examples. Now I will see you in that video.