- Imposter syndrome is a kind of self-doubt
where we feel like, "I am not the person
that people think I am.
I am a fraud and I'm just faking it
and one day everyone's gonna figure it out
and it's not gonna be pretty."
When you have imposter syndrome, you think things
to yourself like, "I haven't earned this,
I don't deserve it, I just got lucky,
I'm incompetent, I'm incapable."
Usually you feel imposter syndrome
in a specific circumstance, like let's say at school
you place into an honors class and you're like,
"Oh man, I really shouldn't be in that honors class."
It's like, "Yeah, sure, I took the test, whatever,
but I guess I got lucky."
This imposter syndrome can be in many
different areas of life.
School, job.
It could even be something like being a parent,
anywhere where you feel like there is a role
that you should be feeling that people expect
certain things of and you're like, "I'm not actually there
and I'm kinda just faking my way through it."
More generally speaking, I believe
that there is a form of imposter syndrome
that is linked to your personality type,
whatever of the 16 personalities you are,
and it's a little weird, because from the outside
it might not seem like imposter syndrome,
because imposter syndrome requires a role
that you think you're filling, as well as expectations
that other people have.
And I'm just caught. (laughs)
When you have a personality type,
one of the 16 personalities, basically what that's doing,
the type, is driving you to feel responsible
to fill a certain role.
Now, that role is kind of abstract and broad,
but it is like the type's role in humanity.
I mean, when you think about it,
what does the word personality mean?
It comes from the, is it Greek or Latin?
It comes from one of those old languages, the word for mask.
It comes from the theater.
The mask that actors would wear was called a persona
and that was basically synonymous,
if I recall my drama 101 correctly,
with the role they played in the play.
So when we're talking about
personality types, we're really...
It's not even really talking about your identity.
It's talking about the role that you unconsciously,
without realizing it, are filling
from day to day in your life.
So the specific imposter syndrome for your type
is basically like you're thinking
without thinking this specifically,
without realizing this is what's going on.
"I am not my type.
I am not good enough at what my type
is supposed to be good enough to actually be that type
and it's really causing me anxiety, self-doubt,
insecurity that one day I'm gonna be found out for this."
So let's start to illustrate by looking at specific types
and what their specific imposter syndrome thought might be,
starting with the ENTJ and the ESTJ,
who have dominant dominant extroverted thinking,
which in short means that the main driving force
in their life is that they feel responsible
to get things done.
"Hey, there is a to-do list and I just need
to pick out those things that need to be done and do 'em."
So for those types, the imposter syndrome
is telling them the thought they have is,
"I'm not getting anything done
or I can't get anything done.
I'm incapable of it.
When I get things done, eh, that's just luck.
I'm just kind of faking it here."
They can also think things like,
"My work isn't going anywhere.
There's no point."
It can even go so far as to be like,
"I'm holding other people back.
I'm letting down my team."
So using this example, I wanna point out
why these specific thoughts would be the imposter syndrome
for these specific types, because other types
could think these same things but then just move on.
They could be like, "Yeah, (laughs)
I'm not working hard enough.
Moving on."
Like an INFP would be like, "Oh, man.
I can't get anything done.
Anyway, I'm gonna go read a book." (laughs)
They'll just be like, "Yeah, that's my weakness.
Okay, you got me there."
But it's not just naturally something
that's going through their mind.
"Oh crap, I'm not getting enough done, oh no."
So flip it around, ENTJ and ESTJ,
they just have that natural drive
towards playing that role of the guy or the girl
who gets stuff done.
Now let's move on before I belabor the point
to the ENFJ and ESFJ, the dominant
extroverted feeling types.
And for them, it's interesting
because their imposter thoughts will center around
something like, "I can't get my priorities straight
or I don't care enough about the things
that I should care about."
Maybe even like, "I don't know what's important anymore.
I'm just confused on that."
An extreme example, let's say an ESFJ,
someone that they know, they're not extremely close with
but just someone in their circle passes away.
Let's say in this particular circumstance
the ESFJ just doesn't feel anything.
They don't feel sad, they're not crying.
This imposter syndrome is gonna be like,
"Why don't I care about this?
Why am I not sad that this person,
my acquaintance or whatever, passed away?"
The ENFJ and ESFJ are very focused
on what is the appropriate emotional response?
So they put a lot of pressure on themselves
to make sure that they respond in the way
that they think is correct.
Many other types might have this same experience
and just be like, "Yeah, but you know,
maybe this is just my own way of grieving
and it's okay because everyone reacts differently,"
but ESFJs and ENFJs can get caught on that.
It could be anything, anything that should
be of importance in their mind to them.
Maybe it's a political issue and they're like,
"I really should feel strongly about this,
but I don't care and that really bothers me
that I don't care."
Or maybe it's like, "I'm spending all my time
doing these things but I don't care about these things.
Why am I not doing these other things
that I should care about?"
And they will think of themselves
as being these cold, callous people,
but the thing is you wouldn't get hung up on it
unless you had extroverted feeling
to be like, "Hey, it's messed up
that I have an inappropriate reaction."
And this is where the whole typing thing comes in,
because a lot of people will recognize this.
They'll be very aware that I am a fraud in this sense.
I am not doing what I should, what my type
should be doing, and therefore I'm not my type.
With the extroverted sensing types, ESFP and ESTP,
they have extroverted sensing as their dominant function
and that is about living in the present moment,
about being very aware of just what's around me
and not going too much into the future or the past.
Let's stay current with reality as it's happening,
'cause this is where life is.
So their imposter thoughts are like,
"I can't keep up.
Yeah, right.
I'm not an ESTP.
I can barely keep up with whatever it is,
the technological trends or what's going on
with my friend group."
They'll get this worry like, "I am falling behind.
I'm not doing what I should be,
which is staying on top of everything."
And when I say staying on top of things,
that's not in terms of work, like doing things,
keeping things organized.
It's really just like keeping an eye on everything,
being aware of everything that is going on.
The ESTP and ENFP will feel like, "I am just disconnected.
I really got no clue.
I'm just head in the clouds, ugh."
And this is why you'll get a lot of these types
who type themselves upside down as INFJs or INTJs
because they're like, "Well, I'm terrible
at playing that extroverted sensing role
I'm not doing what I should do."
Likewise with ENFPs and ENTPs, the extroverted
intuitive types, they will really get down on themselves
if it's like, "I don't have any new ideas."
They will think to themselves, "I am stuck in a rut.
I'm just doing that same thing over and over again.
I've got no creativity, I'm not innovating at all.
In fact, I'm going backwards.
I'm regressing."
Now, this would be a good time to remind you
that when I'm saying all these things,
they could be true in many different circumstances.
You could actually in your life be regressing.
The point is that you have this imposter syndrome
of your type, you can be thinking these things
when that's not the case at all because your type
is telling you you've gotta set the bar up here
and normal people who aren't that type
are setting it here.
So you'll be above average and being like,
"Man, I really should be up here."
An ENFP will be having a lot of good ideas.
Let's say they're a writer and they're brainstorming ideas
for a novel, but it's not enough for them,
so they're like, "Man, I'm a fraud.
I'm not a creative person at all.
I can't figure out any cool new things.
It's all stale.
All these ideas I've had, I've had before."
The SI types, introverted sensing,
the is ISFJ and ISTJ, this was a good one
and this is why a lot of people who are these types
don't type themselves correctly
because their imposter syndrome thought
is, "I can't get my life in order."
Your average ISFJ walking around
doesn't know about the Myers Briggs or anything,
so they're not thinking, "I'm a J type,"
but they have the feeling of responsibility
that the type gives them.
So they're like, "I should be organized
I should have things together.
I should have a system for my life and it's not there.
My life, in fact, is a frickin' mess."
Now, this could go on a spectrum of very literal
to a bit more zoomed out.
So it's like, "My life is a mess.
or my bedroom is a mess.
I can't get organized enough.
It should be more organized.
I'm crap at organizing," all the way up to, "Oh man,
I haven't figured out my life.
I don't have a routine.
I don't know like what are the steps
that I should be doing in order to go to the next level
of my career or school."
And in general with imposter syndrome,
there's no real evidence of the thoughts that you're having,
like no concrete evidence.
There might be a little stuff, but really it's like
you're taking it out of context.
So this ISFJ or ISTJ who's like, "I can't get organized.
I'm not good at organization."
You'll go to their house and it's like, okay,
maybe there's a few things out of place,
but it's more organized than your average person's house.
But they're thinking to themselves,
"It should be immaculate.
It should be like so organized.
I know exactly where everything is.
It should all be alphabetized in a book somewhere."
There's no real evidence there
that they're bad at organization.
It's just what they think, because relative
to what their personality type is telling them
they should be doing, they're not as organized
as they should be.
The introverted thinking types,
the INTP and ISTP, they will have
imposter syndrome thoughts surrounding
basically like, "I don't have an opinion
I don't know what my point of view on something is."
A lot of types would not be bothered
by not having an opinion, but I think it bothers
the INTP and ISTP a lot because to them,
that indicates I haven't figured out the problem
behind that opinion yet.
The TI types feel like, "I need to have
very strong defined opinions that I can really back up,
at least about the things that are interesting to me."
So the imposter syndrome for the INTP and ISTP,
they'll be walking around being like, "Oh my gosh,
I don't know what I think or why I think it.
I don't know what's going on."
A lot of this comes from these types
feeling like they need to have a very high standard
of logical consistency behind everything they think.
A lot of people will have opinions about stuff
and have no real reason behind it.
Especially the feeler types, we'll just be like,
"Yeah, my opinion is this because I feel like it."
For these types especially, the INTP and ISTP,
that's not gonna cut it, so they have to have
an intricate understanding of their opinion.
It's very dismaying for them.
It's very off-putting for them
and they feel like imposters when it's like,
"Yeah, I really can't explain to you
what I think about this thing that I'm interested in
and I couldn't even begin to start to form an opinion here."
The FI types, the INFP and the ISFP,
when they have imposter syndrome think things
that center around, "I don't do anything that matters.
What I do isn't important."
Perhaps it could go so far as to be like,
"Everything that I do actually is wrong and hurtful."
Let me admit to you, I am not totally satisfied
with my phrasing of this, because I'm kinda mixing
thinking and feeling here with the wording,
if you're gonna parse my language apart.
Saying something like, "I don't do anything that matters."
So the word do, when we're talking about doing things,
that's more in the thinking realm,
whereas the matters part, the important part,
that's the feeling bit.
So you could even phrase it more like, "I don't matter.
I am not important enough."
INFPs and ISFPs put so much pressure on themselves.
Everyone wants to do something important, right?
For the INFP and ISFP though, it's like,
"What I have defined as important,
as the highest priority for me,
that's what I wanna reach for."
So let me contrast it.
Most types, I feel like if they had a thought like,
"I'm not doing anything that matters, man,"
they will kind of either just work harder
or they will like not care too much about it,
because to them, it's external.
It's not a reflection on them.
But for INFPs and ISFPs, when you're not
doing something important or when you care about something
but you're not working towards it, you are a bad person.
So a lot of the FI dominant types,
they're thinking to themselves, "I'm a bad person.
I am wrong about everything because I care so much,
but what do I have to show for it?"
Maybe an ISFP is like, "I really love music.
That's the most important thing to me
and my dream is to be a songwriter,"
but they don't really work very hard towards it.
They'll get down on themselves and be like,
"I am not who I should be.
I'm just faking it.
I am not pouring my heart into this enough.
I am not caring enough about what I should care about."
And let me contrast that with, you know,
I talked about the ENFJ and ESFJ earlier
where they are very into should feels
because they're like, "I have to figure out
what's an appropriate response," but for them,
an appropriate response is on the spectrum.
Like if you had 10 people who were in this situation,
how would they react?
And the average reaction is (laughs)
the appropriate thing to feel.
For the ISFP and INFP, they're more like,
"I know how I should feel.
It's very personal to me and if I don't
feel that way, something's wrong."
You get a lot of these types who feel very guilty
and very insecure because even if they are doing stuff
that lines up with their values
and what's important to them, they always feel like,
"I'm just not passionate enough about it.
I'm not flying the flag high enough for these things.
There's always more that I could do.
I could always feel more deeply about these things."
Now, for the introverted intuition types,
the NI types, INFJ, INTJ, the big imposter syndrome thing
that they have is like, "I don't know where I'm going,"
and not like literally they're in a car,
like, "Where am I driving?"
But like, "Where is my life going?
I don't know.
It's like a big cloud in front of me, and man,
I really should have this all figured out.
I should have 20, 30 years planned out
and I'm a fraud because I don't.
I don't have a plan.
What am I doing?
I should have everything planned out,
everything mapped out so solidly that is just like,
I don't even have to think.
I just go brain dead and I go through the plan,"
because that's what these types feel responsible to do,
is to plan so much they don't actually have to live life.
So when they're forced into (laughs) living life
as it comes, when they haven't come up
with an intricate plan, they're like, "What am I doing?
What is happening to me?"
A lot of times they also feel this imposter syndrome
when something unexpected happens and they're like,
"Why didn't I see that coming?
Why was I blindsided by this thing?
I'm the guy who's supposed to be like, 'Okay, yeah.
I can kinda predict that this is gonna happen.'"
So when they are surprised, when they're caught off guard
or when they thought something else was gonna happen,
they think A is going to happen
but then B happens and they're like, "Oh my gosh!"
That's when they're like, "I am terrible.
I am terrible at being an INFJ or INTJ."
And of course,, not to belabor the points, (laughs)
but it's a feeling that INFJS and INTJs get
when they aren't even aware of personality stuff.
They won't be thinking the words,
"I'm a terrible INFJ," but they'll be thinking like,
"I should have seen that coming.
That's my job.
That's my role in the world is to be the guy
who has a huge plan, who's able to predict everything
and isn't surprised by anything."
It's important to overcome imposter syndrome,
whether it's personality type or a specific scenario
like school or work, because if you give into this feeling
of self-doubt, it's gonna hold you back in life.
It's gonna keep you from doing things that you should do,
that you're capable of doing, but you've talked yourself
out of it because you think you're a fake.
Thanks for watching.
Until next time, stay cool and attractive.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪