[KNOCK KNOCK]
IT IS HERE.
AHA!
[KNOCK KNOCK]
YEAH?
YOU PARKER?
SIGN THERE, WILL YA? YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S IN IT?
HERE. BRING IT IN.
OK, BOYS, HAUL THAT ON IN HERE. MOVE YOUR TAILS.
BRING IT RIGHT ON IN. RIGHT HERE.
BRING IT AHEAD. STRAIGHT AHEAD.
THAT'S RIGHT.
RIGHT--
BRING IT RIGHT IN, FELLAS. THAT'S IT.
THERE WE GO. A LITTLE MORE.
LITTLE MORE. THAT'S IT.
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
WATCH THE LADY.
AH...
UH!
UHH! UHH!
THANKS A LOT, GUYS. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
GET THE CROWBAR AND A HAMMER, RALPHIE.
UH, FRA-GEE-LAY.
IT MUST BE ITALIAN.
I THINK THAT SAYS FRAGILE, HONEY.
OH, YEAH.
HERE WE GO.
JEEZEREE!
THEY DID A JOB ON THIS, YOU KNOW?
HERE YOU GO. HOLD THAT.
THERE WE ARE!
MY GOD!
THERE COULD BE ANYTHING IN THERE!
JEEZ!
MAYBE THEY FORGOT.
WELL, IT'S IN THERE. IT'S GOT TO BE IN THERE.
OH, BOY.
OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
WHAT?
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT--IT'S A LEG!
BUT WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S--IT'S A LEG.
YOU KNOW, LIKE ON A STATUE.
A STATUE?
YEAH, A STATUE.
RALPHIE!
Ralphie: MY MOTHER WAS TRYING TO INSINUATE HERSELF
BETWEEN US AND THE STATUE.
HOLY SMOKE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
THIS IS...
A LAMP.
Ralphie: IT WAS INDEED A LAMP.
ISN'T IT GREAT?
WHAT A GREAT LAMP.
I DON'T KNOW.
UH...HERE, HOLD IT.
HOLD IT! YEAH, GO ON.
Ralphie: THE OLD MAN'S EYES BOGGLED...
OH, WOW!
OVERCOME BY ART.
AND I KNOW JUST THE PLACE FOR IT--
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR FRONT ROOM WINDOW.
AH...
AAH...
YEAH. YEAH.
YEAH.
WATCH IT.
LET'S SEE.
UH-HUH.
AAH!
OH, JEEZ, GOD.
WHEW!
HONEY?
NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE, UH...
THIS GOES TO THE RADIO.
THIS GOES...
WELL, THERE'S JUST ONE TOO MANY.
LET'S SEE...
Ralphie: THE SNAP OF A FEW SPARKS,
A QUICK WHIFF OF OZONE,
AND THE LAMP BLAZED FORTH IN UNPARALLELED GLORY.
OH, LOOK AT THAT!
WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? ISN'T THAT GLORIOUS?
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S INDESCRIBABLY BEAUTIFUL.
IT REMINDS ME OF THE 4th OF JULY.
TURN OFF ALL THE LIGHTS.
I WANT TO SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE FROM THE STREET.
I'LL GO GET THE DINING ROOM.
COULDN'T WE TALK THIS OVER?
HONEY. OH...
MOVE IT A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT.
A LITTLE THAT WAY!
JUST A LITTLE...
A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT. YEAH--MORE.
THAT'S IT. DON'T STOP.
RIGHT THERE. THAT'S WONDERFUL.
HEY, PARKER, WHAT IS THAT?
DON'T BOTHER ME NOW. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?
YEAH, BUT WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S A MAJOR AWARD.
A MAJOR AWARD?
SHUCKS, I WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWED THAT.
IT LOOKS LIKE A LAMP.
IT IS A LAMP, YOU NINCOMPOOP,
BUT IT'S A MAJOR AWARD. I WON IT.
DAMN HELL, YOU SAY YOU WON IT?
YEAH.
I HAVE MIND POWER, SWEDE. MIND POWER.
Ralphie: THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS TURNED ON.
AW, YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE FROM OUT HERE!