There're days when you're sad and there're days when you're really really sad!
Like the Little Prince watching 44 sunsets sad
Sadness for me comes and goes these days, but it was central to my life for most of my teens and early 20s
I, somehow convinced myself that 'To be sad and to feel' was the biggest sign of weakness and who wants to be weak?
So I fought it. I avoided it. I suppressed it. And no wonder I made it that much worse.
Thankfully, over the years
I've learned that it's okay to be sad and it's perfectly normal to feel something
anything
Because after all, sadness needs to exist for us to be able to feel and appreciate peace and happiness.
Here are 8 things I do for when I'm feeling really, really sad!
As someone who willingly spends days in her cave regardless if she's happy or sad, it takes an active effort to get out of my sweats
and out of the house. Trust me! I know but whenever I do
I'm reminded of how much I actually enjoy being out and how much better it feels to get out of my head.
Any action is often better than no action
especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.
If it is a mistake, at least you learn something - in which case, it's no longer a mistake.
If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.
So go outside,
daydream, unstuck yourself, learn something, explore, clear your mind and get some vitamin D on your face and sand in your shoes
Because it's been way too cold in LA these days to actually dip my toes in the water :-)
Thrifting has always been oddly therapeutic for me
and I didn't know why for the longest time
What I realized recently was that it was less about the clothes and the thrill of finding a steal of a deal
and more about how I'm focusing my attention on something other than myself and the voices in my head.
By giving my undivided attention,
by touching every hanger and looking at every tag on the clothes - because I have FOMO and I need to make sure I don't miss anything -
I'm in turn allow myself to be fully present
Remember: the past gives us an identity, and the future holds the promise of salvation,
of fulfillment in whatever form, both are illusions. Our reality is the present, the now.
As soon as we honor the present moment,
all unhappiness and struggles dissolve and life begins to flow with joy and ease.
When we act out the present moment awareness,
whatever we do becomes imbued with the sense of quality, care and love - even the most simplest action!
This can honestly take shape in any form.
If I've been withholding myself, Iindulge! If I'm been indulging, I do something different.
This time, I indulged.
With this thick European hot chocolate, this miso butterscotch cookie and this lemon ricotta muffin and these pastries from Mr. Holmes
back then whenever I was sad
Self-care went out the window because of all the anger and frustration I'd pile onto myself for being anything other than happy
but I've learned that to love myself means to love and accept the inevitable sadness within me too
and to treat myself every once in a while.
The key here though is to put away all the distractions
and focus on the present that is eating this delicious thing right in front of me or doing that thing I know
will bring me joy
By now with all the self-care videos going around
I'm sure we all know how writing can help us de-stress,
be present, clear our minds and unstuck ourselves.
My go-to prompt for grounding myself is writing down 3 things I'm grateful for and 3 things I'm looking forward to
You can also write your future or pass self a letter
Free-write what's been on your mind for 20 minutes without stopping, without worrying about punctuation, spelling or grammar
Write down 5 things that are most important to you, and how you can incorporate these 5 things into your life more
Or if you're feeling it, like really really feeling it, you can try writing your own eulogy
I'm gonna link down below the importance of thinking about death
And also, I will be making a video on these writing prompts very very soon so keep an eye out for that.
The most important thing with this is to look inward,
reflect, remind yourself of what's important.
And remember that if you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.
Be spontaneous and surprise yourself.
Whether it's something you've been meaning to do like checking out that place you've been meaning to check out,
reading that book you've been meaning to read, go to that restaurant, go to the museum
go take that pottery class
go take the hot, yoga pilates soul aerial boot camp that you've been eyeing
go to the beach, go see your parents
Whatever it is, when I finally get around to doing something I've been wanting to do, be it in a professional or personal context
We're swinging
That small wind and little achievement does wonders for my overall mental state and well-being.
For me, I was making this video and spending a day frolicking in LA with one of my favorite people, eating to my heart's content.
Quality time to me means focus undivided attention with the TV off and phones put aside.
By being fully present, actively listening and actively participating
Every moment we have with ourselves and with someone else is an opportunity to have quality time
It could be something as simple as car rides, to cooking, to spending time with family
or cooking AND spending time with family - which is what I did.
My family's gone through a lot lately, so when Hello Fresh was kind enough to change my order
from a two-person vegetarian plan to a four-person classic plan that included meat for my family,
I thought 'Sharing is Caring' so why not make a family date night - burger night out of this.
By the way, these burgers were divine
Don't look for peace
Don't look for any other state than the one you're in now
Otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance
Forgive yourself for not being at peace
The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace
Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
Accept, focus on what's important and let go of everything else.
And remember, it's all temporary.
Feelings of sadness, feelings in general, the curve balls life throws at us, even life itself
I remind myself that I'm just this tiny speck
flickering in the universe and that it's all fleeting. So, why not treat myself with more
compassion, acceptance and love since the days are numbered anyway.
As John Lennon said: 'Everything will be okay in the end.
If it's not okay, it's not the end'
Your outer journey may contain a million steps, your inner journey only has one - the step you're taking right now
Thank you so much to Hello Fresh for partnering with me on this video and allowing me to spill my little heart out and flex my creative muscles
What is Hello Fresh?
Delicious, pre-measured ingredients and simple chef-made recipes are delivered to your doorstep every week
Each recipe only takes about 30 minutes to make and think of all the time saved and putting on your pants and dragging yourself to the grocery store
I love being able to go out of my comfort zone
to try new recipes I wouldn't usually cook on my own like meat.
I eat meat but since I grew up vegetarian I rarely cook with it.
If you're not a meat-eater yourself, do not fret because they have a veggie only option.
If this is something you want to try for $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh,
visit hellofresh.com and enter rowenasai30 at checkout.
Thank you guys so much for joining me
I hope you guys feel a little less sad if you're sad and if any of you guys are really really really sad
I just want you to know that you're not alone, that we all go through it too
and let me know how and what you do when you're really sad
and I love you guys <3
I'll see you guys in the next video
Hope everyone has a great week
and...Goodbye! Air hug? Voice hug? Byeeeee