The future is coming fast, and it's here now,
which means Ronny Chieng is back with another installment
of "Today's Future Now."
-♪ ♪ -(applause and cheering)
Thanks, Trevor.
The "Computer" Electronics Show in Las Vegas just wrapped up.
It's the annual convention
where tech companies show off new gadgets so useless,
they make men's nipples seem functional.
And this year was no exception.
The nation's most anticipated tech show of the year
opens its doors to the public today in Las Vegas.
The Consumer Electronics Show-- CES-- gives us a glimpse
of the new technology
that will be making its way into our lives.
WOMAN: This year at CES, there's a faucet I can talk to.
MAN: If turning on the faucet ever feels
like a lot of work, then meet the U by Moen Smart Faucet.
It takes voice commands.
Hey, Google, ask Moen to dispense two cups of water.
-MALE VOICE: Getting Moen. -(chime)
FEMALE VOICE: Wave over sensor to dispense two cups now.
(chime)
Two cups.
(laughter)
At last, a faucet that takes 30 minutes to fill a cup.
(laughter)
Who is this for?
Is there someone out there who's like,
"Finally a sink for me, the guy who wants
"to drink exactly two cups of water and not a drop more.
"I don't want to be overhydrated,
"and I don't want to be underhydrated.
I want to be perfectly hydrated"?
Also, by the way, every faucet is a faucet you can talk to
if you're very, very lonely, okay? Trust me.
What... what would impress me--
if they actually invented a faucet
that you can't talk to, okay?
It's, like, you ask it for a cup of water, and it's like,
"Look, I'm just not ready to open up right now, okay?"
And if you're hoping CES will bring us the latest advancements
in artificial intelligence, well, keep hoping,
because the robot uprising is gonna take a while.
Samsung has unveiled Neon,
the world's first artificial humans at this year's
Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
These virtual beings look
and behave like humans.
Creators claim that the human avatars have the ability
to converse and sympathize like real people.
Okay, so, I'm about to get to chat with Neon
and ask it a few questions.
Here we go.
And my questions are going to be relayed
by Simon here to Neon.
Neon, what's your favorite food?
Pizza.
(laughter)
Wow. Millions of dollars in research and development,
and that's the big revelation.
Pizza.
I bet that's the only word she knows.
It's like, "Hey, Neon, how do we solve climate change?"
And two hours later, it's like, "Pizza."
(laughter)
And also, how does it even know it likes pizza?
How can you trust something that's never eaten before?
That's like asking the pope about his favorite sex position.
-(groaning) -He's not qualified to answer, okay?
And what kind of sorry-ass tech demo is this?
Why do I have to ask the guy to ask the robot for me?
(laughter)
Does-does he come with the computer?
Imagine if that's how it worked with Siri.
Say, hey, Siri, turn on the lights.
I mean... (scoffs) Sorry.
-Hey, Derrick. -(laughter)
Tell Siri to turn on the lights.
(laughter)
Thanks, Derrick.
But luckily,
not all the stupid stuff at CES is useless this year,
because one new invention might actually change our lives.
WOMAN: A company called DnaNudge
helps shoppers make healthier decisions
while grocery shopping based on their DNA.
So you go into the supermarket, take a DNA test, and then,
you wear a band that scans groceries as you shop
to recommend the best food for you based on your DNA.
So what-what I can do, if I'm wearing this device,
is turn up to the supermarket and actually scan a product.
And that-that went red, so that means
this isn't ideal for my body chemistry.
-(laughter) -Okay.
DNA grocery shopping kind of sounds like it might make sense.
Although, I got to be honest. This whole thing sounds
like the world's worst Lizzo remix, all right?
♪ I just took a DNA test ♪
♪ Turns out I'm 100%... ♪ Buying Cheetos.
(laughter)
Yo. We don't need a DNA test
to know that we need to eat healthy food, okay?
Let me help you out.
If all your eating comes in a box
with a cartoon character on it, it's bad for you, okay?
There, I just saved you $200.
Eating healthy isn't that complicated.
(bleep) your DNA. Just eat more vegetables, okay?
We don't need to map the human genome
to know that it's a bad idea to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
Just test the DNA. Are you... are you Irish?
Eat more vegetables.
Are you... are you Chinese? Eat more vegetables.
Oh, you're two percent West African and 98% Swedish?
Well, eat more vegetables.
And by the way, that just means you're white.
Ronny, Ronny... you seem especially upset
by this DNA service.
Hell yeah, I am! I gave it my DNA.
It told me to eat more walnuts
and that I'm adopted, okay?
Which sucks, because I hate walnuts.
-(laughter) -Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to ask Derek to ask Siri to ask my faucet
-to get me a new slice of pizza. -Ronny Chieng, everyone.