- Hi guys, welcome back to my channel.
In today's video, I thought I would give you an update
on how I'm coping with three children,
because the last time I spoke about this,
Jackson was a very young baby, and he wasn't moving around.
So I thought now that he is literally running around,
he's nearly 18 months old now, that I would update you,
because it's still one of the questions
I get asked the most out of every question.
What's it like having three?
What's it been like having a third child?
So I thought I'd give you a little update,
and I also thought I'd give you
some truths in this video as well.
So yeah, here we go.
The first truth is, that you are outnumbered.
You're outnumbered even if your husband is helping you,
there are more children than there are parents.
And when I'm on my own with the kids,
I'm very aware that I have more children than I have hands.
So I think our age gap has been really nice,
because all of our children are nearly three years apart.
That's actually helped so much, because my seven year old
is old enough and sensible enough to understand
that he needs to listen to me.
If we're walking down a road or something,
I can have the two little ones,
and then my eldest, luckily, I can trust him,
and he is very sensible.
So I think if you are considering having a third,
maybe just look at the age gaps.
I know sometimes you might want them
to be closer when they're older, and I totally get that.
But if you don't have loads of help,
I think having an age gap
has actually been really good for us.
The next thing is, if you have a third child,
you may need to think about getting a bigger car,
and even a bigger house.
And I hate saying this one, because it's such a stereotype.
And when I had two children,
and I said that I wanted to have a third,
lots of people were like, oh what about your car,
what about your house?
But you do need a lot of space with three children.
We built a fourth bedroom onto our house,
and it's been brilliant,
because Jackson actually has so much stuff himself.
And also, after 18 months of resisting,
we have just got a bigger car,
because although we could all fit in it
on the weekends and things when we're all together,
if Fraser ever wanted to bring friends home after school,
or if we ever wanted to go out
with all the scooters and bikes and everything,
or when we drive ourself to the airport
for holidays and things,
we couldn't get everything into the car.
So we've just invested in a seven-seater, big massive car.
I had to learn how to drive it,
but it's been a really good thing,
because we do need the space.
The next thing to note is your house will be very loud.
And it's something that you will definitely get used to,
and I actually love it.
I love having a busy home.
I hate it when they're out and our house is really quiet,
but if you don't like noise, don't have third child.
The next think that I wanted to say
is that third children just fit in.
People said this to me before I had my third child,
but it is so true.
And in my experience, our third child
is by far the most relaxed, chilled out,
just goes with the flow, he's so good, he sleeps so well,
he eats well, like, he doesn't have a choice.
He just has fitted into our routine so easily,
and so many people said to me
that two children double the work,
but three children quadruple the work.
But I don't think that's the case.
I think obviously one baby is work,
two children do double the work,
but the third baby has just fitted in.
I don't feel like there's loads more to do,
because I'm already doing the bath time, the bedtime,
the meals, like one more little meal
hasn't been like a massive thing.
So I would say that third babies are
typically very relaxed and easy,
and in my experience, that is definitely true.
My next point may not come as a surprise,
but you won't be getting much sleep for a couple of years.
And I think that's probably the same
when you have two young children.
But when you have three, it's just a bit more work.
Because although our youngest is a very good sleeper,
then our toddler started having bad dreams,
or wetting the bed, or your eldest wants a drink,
or there's always someone who's not 100% well,
needing something, you know,
if I get six hours straight in a night straight,
that is really good going for me.
It might be different for you though.
I think a schedule and a routine
is so key with three children.
If you don't have that, you will struggle to sleep, I think.
My next point is a little controversial,
but I do think that sometimes, our middle child suffers
from us having three in terms of attention.
Our eldest is at school, and he has so much going on,
and then our youngest is a baby,
and he needs lots of attention,
because he can't do anything for himself,
so Caleb sometimes gets lost in the middle.
We make a massive effort to take him out on special dates,
give him so much attention, and he loves being one of three.
He adores his little brother so much,
and his older brother as well.
But, I think that is something that you have to be aware of.
When it comes to holidays, you do have to get creative
with a family of five.
And again, when I said to people
that I wanted to have a third child,
loads of people said, well what about holidays?
And I think that is a really silly reason
to not have a third child.
You just have to get creative.
So, for instance,
you will have to do a little bit more research
into places that cater for five people in a room.
Especially when they're young, that can be quite difficult,
but you can find villas, hotel suits, and things like that,
that will allow all five of you in a room.
We have just booked a big two-week holiday away.
Because Jackson is 18 months old,
we wanted to get a big one in before he became two,
and he became full price.
So that is obviously something to bear in mind
if you love holidays,
that they will be a lot more expensive,
even going somewhere, and the flights being
like 200 pounds, that is then 1000 pounds,
if you see what I mean, for all five of you.
But, our kids love UK stay-cations,
you don't have to go abroad,
there are so many holidays and things you can do.
We're looking at going camping or glamping with the kids.
So yeah, but you do obviously have to get creative,
and there is an expense with that as well.
My next point is that I think for the boys,
being one of three children is teaching them
so many life skills.
And again, I'm sure that's the same
if you just are one of two,
but they are learning so much negotiation
when it comes to, like,
choosing what we're going to watch on TV,
or movies and things like that.
There is so much negotiation that has to go on,
and they have to agree on something.
They are learning tolerance,
because they have to tolerate everyone.
Obviously sharing and stuff like that.
Bedtime can be tricky
when it comes to putting all three children down to bed
on your own.
I do this a few nights a week, and it can be quite hard.
I think having a schedule and routine, as I said before,
is so key to getting that right,
and then getting your me time in the evening.
But when I do put all three to bed on my own,
I don't feel guilty about using technology to help me.
If I don't have help physically
in terms of my husband or a family member,
technology has been amazing.
I don't actually know what people did
before iPads and things like that.
But when I'm putting Jackson to be, it takes 10 minutes.
So I let the two older boys have their iPads,
and then I come out and I put Caleb to bed,
so Fraser has it for another 10 minutes,
and then I put Fraser to bed.
And I feel a lot safer using technology in that way,
because I know if they're watching the YouTube kid's app,
so they're not gonna watch anything bad,
that they're going to be sat in one place,
and they won't injure themselves,
and they will be safe.
So, you know, use it moderately, if you have to.
Don't feel guilty about it.
Being a mom of three has also taught me
that every child is so different.
All three of ours have been raised
pretty much the same, but they're all so different.
They have their own personalities, their own quirks,
and you just have to learn what they are,
and let them be themselves.
Do what works for both of you,
but it's very difficult with three not to compare them,
because I'm constantly saying,
oh, well, Fraser didn't do that at that age,
or Caleb didn't do that at that age,
but they're all very individual,
and you need to treat them like that.
If you're going to have a third child as well,
you're going to have to accept that you can't do everything.
I think you have to accept this
when you have two children as well.
But even more so with three.
There are some things that we just can't do.
Some parties that we can't make,
or you know, yesterday, the boys wanted to go swimming,
but it was just me on my own, and I thought,
well, one of them is going to drown,
so I can't do that today.
So you know.
And also, don't feel guilty about having days in.
There are three of them that can play with each other.
So if you can get some activities together,
like coloring out, or Play-Doh or stuff like that,
you can have a nice day in the house with the kids.
Like, I love to get out with them,
but some days, if one of them's not well
or something like that,
don't feel guilty about just hanging out at home.
I feel really safe when I know where they all are.
If you have three children as well,
I have realized that strangers,
or people when you're out and about, saying dumb things,
especially when you have three boys,
or three girls, I guess.
But people have said to me,
literally when we're out in the park,
asked me outright if Jackson was a mistake.
I get asked daily if I'm going to have more,
because I have three boys, I must want a girl.
So things like that are really irritating,
and obviously you just have to let them slide,
but just be prepared for people saying dumb stuff.
You will never wee on your own again,
and you will probably wake up
with at least one child in your bed every morning.
One thing that I would really recommend
if you have three children
is to set them up trust funds or banks accounts
that you can control, and you can put money into every month
so that when they become 18, 19, 21, whatever it is,
you have a little bit of money there for them.
I do worry about how I'm going to pay
for all three of these kids to go to university,
or with house deposits or weddings, and stuff like that.
So we have accounts for all of them,
and we put into them every month,
even if it's like 10, 20 pounds, whatever it is,
it will really help in the future,
so I think that's a sensible thing to do,
and you won't miss it that much in the interim, so yeah,
definitely set up little bank accounts for them all.
And the last thing I wanted to say is if you do go ahead
and have a third child,
your heart will triple in size.
Don't worry that you won't have enough love to go around,
don't worry that you'll be splitting your love
at all, in any way.
You will love that new baby so much.
I would never change having three children.
It's the best thing I ever did.
So if you're worried
about having enough love to go around, don't.
Right, so that is it for this video.
I really hope you liked it.
Give it a big thumbs up if you did,
and yeah, I think I'm coping quite well with three.
I really, really love it.
I think it's completely worth it.
I'm really enjoying it.
Obviously don't have a third child
because I've said that you'll be fine.
You know, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying
that this is my experience,
and I just love it so much.
So yeah, anyway, thank you so much for watching,
and I will see you in my next one.
Bye, guys!